The Sentinel and it's characters are owned by PetFly, Inc. Josh Groban is owned by 143 Records and WEA International Inc. No infringement is intended.
Prince is mine!

Thanks to 2 of 2 for all her help. Any and all mistakes are mine.
For Rosie.

Never saw this show. Fell in love with the boys online. The song lyrics are from a song called You're Still you written by Linda Thompson. The song can be found on the self-titled album by Josh Groban.

MAY 2000

*Through the darkness,
I can see your light,
And you will always shine,
And I can feel your heart in mine,
Your face I've memorized,
I idolize just you*

The door slammed loudly behind him.

The tall, broad-shouldered man, beer bottle in hand, stalked angrily across the slatted wooden deck. He halted and placed one booted foot on the lowest whitewashed railing of the covered porch. He reached down to pat the dog that should have followed him from the house, remembered, and abruptly changed the movement and tilted back the bottle of beer, instead. He gulped the dregs and grimaced at the taste. While he had missed many things living abroad, American beer wasn't at the top of the list.

'So much has changed,' the man thought sadly, missing the dog.

He leaned forward and peered into shades of grey. Leaden slate-coloured clouds loomed low and the raindrops, balanced in the air, created a fine haze that cloaked the mountains and dulled the NOMA lanterns that lined the winding driveway. The muted rays glanced against white quartz stones, producing the illusion of a moonlit path.

Dr. Eli Stoddard sighed. At one time, his sprawling, ranch-style home had only been accessible by rural route from the city. But Cascade's growing population and the subsequent demand for housing, had swelled the suburbs. With each year, more neighbours encroached on his isolation. The new five-lane highway, chiselled out of pristine wilderness by the minions of the city fathers, was well travelled. The white noise of passing traffic drowned out all but the nearest of nature's sounds

The man hunched broad shoulders beneath his white button down shirt. He had left the relative warmth of the house to flee the shrill complaints of his current wife. The fiery Ysabella, he suspected, would soon become the latest ex-Mrs Stoddard and join the growing ranks of disillusioned women with whom he became involved.

Stoddard shivered as a cool, damp breeze ruffled his hair. In his haste to escape Ysabella's temper, he'd forgotten his jacket. Springtime in this part of the world tended to be cold and humid. A wry smile that reflected affectionate contempt touched thin lips. He had once heard Cascade, Washington described as the most dangerous city in America. It was also the dampest. At least that hadn't changed.

He hadn't changed much, either, in the nearly fifteen years since he had left his tenured teaching position at Rainier University-at least not outwardly. He was a tall man, powerfully built, not bulky but well muscled. And, if truth were told, he was in better shape than a lot of academics half his age. Although five and a half decades of living, along with the harsher rays of a tropical sun, had etched deep lines into the tanned leather of his craggy face, he remained lean and fit. His short-cropped hair was still thick, still mostly dark, with only a touch of silvering at the temples.

He reached down to the ghost of the dog, remembered again, and raked his fingers through his own hair, instead.

'So, how long has it been since I was last home?' Eli Stoddard asked himself. 'Three years? Four?' He sighed and turned the empty beer bottle over his hands. A low, surprisingly bitter laugh emerged from his throat. 'Home? Cascade hasn't been 'home' for a very long time. And what the hell am I doing here now?'

The man's thin lips twisted. "For Christ's sake, you stupid bastard," he said softly, aloud. "Lie to other people-to Ysabella. Don't lie to yourself. You know exactly why you're in Cascade. It's because Sandburg asked you to come."

He shook his head. He hadn't heard from his former protege, had tried deliberately not to think of him, since the debacle surrounding his fraudulent dissertation. And then a week ago, his computer screen at the museum had flagged an incoming email from bjsandburg, a half world away. It had taken him nearly eight hours to work up the courage to open it, less than thirty seconds to read it. Based on those few bald words, he had informed the Board that he was taking an early vacation and towed his angry, unimpressed young wife to the airport.

Eli closed his eyes and ran his hand over his face, 'Blair Sandburg,' he thought. 'Beautiful, brilliant Blair. Jesus God. He could have been anything - done anything. What a fucking waste'

Tightly curled rivulets of emotion surged through him and merged into iridescent ripples that churned in his gut. Rage, regret, sorrow and guilt battered at the breakwater of his control. He seized the brightest ribbon that threaded through all the other passions, the hatred that had sustained him for so long. He hated rain. He detested Cascade, Washington and Rainier University. He loathed no-fault divorce and community property laws. He despised anthropology and Sir Richard Burton; he hated sentinels and cops. He really hated the short life spans of large dogs.

A garbled sound, barely human, emerged from Eli Stoddard's throat. His fingers closed, white-knuckled, around the beer bottle. Without thought, he raised it and heaved. It landed with a gratifying crack, bounced two or three times and then rolled in a lackadaisical arc against the deck.

A lot of things had changed over the years. One thing hadn't. He still loved Blair Sandburg.

AUGUST 1986

*I look up to
Everything you are,
In my eyes you do no wrong,
I've loved you for so long, and after all is said and done, You're still you,
After all, you're still you*

Dr. Eli Stoddard stifled a yawn. He reached up and yanked the knot of his tie down and fumbled to undo the starched collar that had threatened strangulation, all evening. His farewell party had dragged on interminably, boring and tedious, as were most faculty get-togethers. Lured by the promise of free food and drink, too many of his colleagues from Rainier University had shown up early and stayed far too long.

"Christ, I'm glad that's over," Stoddard told the white German shepherd that sat near the door.

The dog's quick ears flicked in acknowledgement of his master's voice but dark eyes remained fixed on the door. A low, menacing growl vibrated deep in his throat.

"What?" Stoddard said. "What is it, boy?"

The animal whined softly and rose gracefully to four paws. He pointed his snout at the door. Another warning growl sounded.

Stoddard grinned at the dog. "Something out there?" he teased. "What is it this time, silly mutt? Are there rabbits in the garden again? Or did the neighbour's cat come over to visit? What is it, Prince?"

He moved into the tiled vestibule and motioned to the shepherd. "Down, Prince," he said, firmly. "Stay."

Reluctantly, the dog sank to his belly but watched intently as Stoddard stepped to the door and pulled it open. Late night, August in Cascade heat, moist and sticky, hit him in the face with the force of a riptide. He gulped as he moved from the air-conditioned house onto the covered porch. He leaned against the railing and peered through the darkness. A flash of white caught Eli's eye and he frowned. It was a few moments before he could really make out the slender silhouetted figure that stood near the edge of his driveway.

One of his late-departing colleagues having a final smoke?

Stoddard shook his head. No, this was no faculty member. A slight smile touched the man's thin lips as he instinctively guessed the identity of his after-hours visitor. Though the boy's presence had not been requested, neither was it totally unexpected. Obviously, the University grapevine was up and running and, if the news of his leaving had reached the student population, then it was only natural that Blair Sandburg would seek him out. After all, wasn't he the closest thing that the kid had to a father?

The tall, broad-shouldered man leaned against the white washed railing and spoke in his most professorial voice.

"You're a long way from home, Mr. Sandburg. Were you looking for me?"

The words carried through the heavy, muggy air and Stoddard saw slender shoulders square. The boy turned slowly. The glowing tip of a cigarette flared brightly as he took a final drag. He dropped the glowing ember and ground it out beneath his foot. He raised his head, hesitated for a heartbeat in time, and then began walking forward. His sneakered footsteps scuffed across the quartz stone driveway.

Stoddard straightened as the young man climbed the porch steps. Eli's eyes, newly adjusted to the near darkness, flickered across a boyish, handsome face. He felt a thrill of anticipation, vital, familiar, and urgent, leap through his veins.

It had been nearly two years since Blair Sandburg had become his student and sparks had flown between them from their first meeting. Not quite sixteen years old when his hippy mother had abandoned him at the gates of Rainier, the youngster's brilliance had been equalled only by his insatiable curiosity and eagerness to learn. Aware of an inappropriate attraction to his underage student, Eli had strictly enforced a deliberate distance between them outside of the safety of the classroom. Despite that, their relationship...their connection had flourished, probably because Blair had stubbornly insisted on it.

Eli spoke softly. "I'm afraid you've arrived a little too late for the festivities, Sandburg. The party broke up a little while ago."

"I know, man," the youngster replied.

He raised a hand and raked sweat damp curls from his forehead. "I waited out there," he gestured vaguely toward the driveway, "'til everyone left."

He peeped shyly through his lashes at the older man. "I wasn't sure, even a few minutes ago, if I was gonna come up." His slender shoulders hunched in a light shrug.

Stoddard smiled. "You came a long way to look at the outside of my house," he said gently.

"Yeah, well..." Blair Sandburg half-turned. He stared into the night and then glanced back at the professor. "So is it true," he demanded. "What I heard?"

"I don't know, Mr. Sandburg," Stoddard replied. "Why don't you tell me what you heard, and I'll tell you if it's true."

Blair looked down at his sneakers. "That you...you're leaving Cascade... Rainier," he said hesitantly. "And you've accepted the directorship of the Museum of Anthropology in Lima."

A raven eyebrow rose in Stoddard's face. As a communication network, the University grapevine could give lessons to AT&T. He nodded.

"Yes, Sandburg, it's true."

Swiftly, Blair looked up. "Well," he said softly.

There were a few moments of silence and then he rose up on his toes and seemed to bounce in place. "That's...great, man."

His enthusiasm, to someone who didn't know him, would have seemed unfeigned.

"I...I am so psyched for you. It's a real honour, isn't it? I mean, for them to give the directorship of a national museum to an American...what an opportunity, it's way cool...an anthropologist's wet dream..."

The tumble of words suddenly faltered. The boy's animation abated.

Stoddard waited within the rising silence.

Finally, Sandburg looked directly at his teacher and his unhappiness was very real, an almost palpable thing. "It's just...well, like you're my mentor, man...the reason I wanted to come to Rainier in the first place and if you're not there, well, it just won't be the same and I'm gonna miss you, Sir. I'm gonna miss you so goddamned much."

Sadly, the student shook his head. Stray curls caught in the sweat on his face and clung. Hurt blue eyes accused the older man. " And I know I'm just another student...and it was none of my business but you never said anything. Never even hinted that you might be leaving."

Eli Stoddard smiled. "You're babbling, Sandburg," he said gently. He reached out to catch a lean shoulder and frowned as Blair flinched from his touch.

Immediately, Stoddard released him. "I couldn't say anything, Sandburg," he said, astonished by his desperate need to make this boy understand. "The museum requested the information be kept confidential. They needed to clear the hire with their government before they could make a public announcement. The only person here who knew about the job offer was Chancellor Gilroy."

Even in the hazy darkness, Stoddard recognized his student's distress and his voice gentled.

"It's not like I'm cutting all my ties to Rainier, Sandburg. I'm still an alumni and Gilroy has agreed to let me remain an associate of the university. A sort of professor emeritus. I'll be doing guest lectures three or four times a year. Oh, and, I've also agreed to lead some of the anthro department's expeditions, time and the museum allowing." He hesitated and then spoke again. "Why don't you come inside," Eli said, quietly. "We can talk more comfortably in the house."

Blair Sandburg shook his head. His shoulders squared beneath the soft cotton of his tee shirt. "Nah," he said with dignity. " Thanks, Sir. It's late. I don't want to disturb you and Mrs. Stoddard."

"Actually, Jane isn't home, this evening." Eli replied dryly. "She very wisely decided to give the party a miss." His smile was sardonic. "She's staying with her parents for a while before we leave. To tell them a proper good-bye." He didn't wait for Sandburg's response but turned a reached for the door handle and tugged it open. "Come on in, kid. You won't be disturbing me in the least, I assure you. Please let me get you something to drink."

A welcoming wave of cold tempted the boy, and slowly, reluctantly, Blair Sandburg paced forward. He blinked in the brightness of the vestibule and then shivered as the conditioned air hit his sweat slick body. Without hesitation, he held out his hand to the large white dog that thrust a wet, inquisitive snout toward him.

"Hey there," Blair Sandburg, exclaimed softly. Fearlessly, he drew the palm of his hand over a handsome head and then hunkered down beside the dog. "Who're you, big guy?" He glanced up and his large blue eyes glowed. Real pleasure brightened youthful features. "He's great. What is he? A shepherd?"

Stoddard nodded, a little startled to realise that he was vaguely envious of the dog. "Lie down, Prince," he said sternly. He gestured to the boy. "Come into the living room."

Blair offered the dog another pat and then rose slowly to his feet. He glanced ruefully at his damp t-shirt and jeans. "I'm...I'm kinda grubby," he confessed. "I didn't have time to change after I left work."

"It's fine. You're fine," Stoddard returned, impatiently. "My esteemed colleagues have already trashed the place. Come in, let me get you that drink."

Blair Sandburg glanced around, wide-eyed. Even amidst the jumble of empty glasses, half-eaten plates of food and over-flowing ashtrays, this was an elegant, well-appointed room. He eyed the man at the bar for a moment and then spoke softly. "Your place is great, man."

"Thank you," Stoddard replied. He moved to the boy carrying two drinks.

He handed Sandburg the beer he had requested. "You tell anyone I gave alcohol to a seventeen year old, Sandburg, I'll deny it," he muttered darkly. A smile softened the words. He hesitated and touched his own tumbler, filled with gin and tonic, to the green glass bottle " Your health," he murmured

"Cheers," the boy replied. He sipped the Heineken and sighed softly, "I needed this."

Vivid blue eyes glinted at the doctor of anthropology from beneath dark lashes. "It's fucking hot."

His brilliant scholar had apparently been reduced to commenting on the weather and Eli Stoddard's lean, dark cheek dimpled as he regarded the boy.

"It is indeed hot," he replied, mockingly.

He reached up and unknotted his tie and, one handed, pulled it off. Carelessly, he dropped the length of silk atop the clutter on the burnished, teak coffee table. He gulped his gin and tonic and then moved to the bar and placed the empty glass with the myriad of others.

'I should really clean this mess up,' Stoddard thought idly. Instead, he turned back to watch his unexpected guest.

Drink in hand, Blair Sandburg stood, uncharacteristically still and silent, in the centre of the room. He was beautiful, Eli noted, not for the first time-not for the hundredth time. Though slight, there was nothing at all feminine about him. The undergraduate was 5'7", several inches shorter than Stoddard's own height, and perfectly proportioned. A tight white tee shirt and low riding, threadbare jeans beautifully showed off his slender, finely muscled build. A tumble of sweat-darkened curls hung in casual disarray around a sweet, handsome face. Innocent features and big blue eyes, Eli knew, concealed a cunning mind, a keen intelligence and a biting sense of humour.

'I want you,' Eli thought-not for the hundredth time.

He spoke softly, "So, Sandburg, are you going to tell me why you came here tonight?"

Blair raised his head. Impatiently, in the nervous gesture that Eli knew from class, he raked his fingers through his damp hair. "I...guess I wanted to...say good-bye," he replied.

"You couldn't wait until Monday?" the man scoffed, gently. "I'm sure the same source that told you that I was leaving Rainier also told you that I'll be at the University until the summer session is over." He shook his head. " You don't really expect me to believe that you went to class, worked a shift at the library and then came twenty miles to stand in my driveway working up the courage to tell me something you could have told me at school in two days?" Ice grey eyes narrowed dangerously, "How did you get here, anyway?"

A knobby spine stiffened. Blair's chin rose. " I hitched," he said.

Stoddard shook his head, again. "Young idiot," he growled. He met and held the defiant blue gaze and was gratified when the student looked away.

Eli Stoddard drew in a deep breath. A thin-lipped smile played around his mouth.

"So tell me, what was really so urgent that you needed to see me, tonight?" he asked. "And tell me the truth, this time, Sandburg." He watched, with interest as a flush warmed high cheekbones.

A dark smudge of lashes came down to hide Blair's eyes. "I told you the truth," he muttered.

"Liar," Eli said, almost tenderly.

Swiftly, the youngster looked up. "I told you the truth, man," he repeated, with some heat.

Stoddard's smile widened becoming openly mocking.

Blair Sandburg's youthful body stiffened, taut with tension. The heightened colour in the boy's face suddenly reflected temper as much as embarrassment.

"So, you tell me, Dr. Stoddard," he challenged. "Since you apparently know something I don't. Why do you think I came to see you?"

Eli hesitated. He had realized, long ago, that like Caesar's wife, he not only had to be virtuous but to appear virtuous. For nearly two years, he had exercised complete discretion with Blair. He had resisted temptation even as he instinctively guessed that when Blair Sandburg looked at him, he didn't see a father figure.

Stoddard spoke quietly, "Come here," he said, tapping the bar with his forefinger.

Blair froze.

Stoddard's voice firmed. "I said, 'come here'."

Sandburg's head went down. For a few more minutes, he remained standing in the middle of the room, and then, driven by an impulse he didn't quite understand, he walked slowly to the man. Stoddard reached out and took the bottle of beer from his student and placed it on the bar.

"Look at me," Eli commanded. He heard a sharp intake of breath. Reluctantly, Blair Sandburg raised his head.

"Tell me," Stoddard said softly. "Tell me why you're here...what you want. I need to hear you say the words."

Sandburg swallowed hard. "I..." he began. His courage failed him and his head lowered.

Eli Stoddard reached out and caught the boy's chin. Gently, he raised it. The pad of his thumb soothed over a lightly stubbled jaw. He waited until confused blue eyes met his own and smiled.

"We've known each other a couple of years, now. I must admit that while I've often found you maddening, I never thought you were a coward."

Blair shook his head. The movement dislodged Stoddard's hand. "I...wanted to see you," he murmured. "...to talk to you."

Stoddard sighed as impatience and amusement warred. He half turned from the youngster. "Okay, kid," he said, with cold finality. "Talk."

The colour deepened in Blair's cheeks. Abruptly, he reached out and caught his professor's arm. His fingers closed around the fine linen jacket and dug into the warm, muscled flesh beneath.

"For Christ's sake, Sir," he protested. "What do you want from me?"

Swiftly, Eli turned. His carved masculine features were hard, implacable. "We're not in class now, Blair," he said, harshly. "To begin with, you can stop calling me 'sir'. You know my name. Use it."

At though their movements had been choreographed to bring them to this moment, they were now standing so close that Stoddard could feel the lingering heat that rose from the boy's body. His nostrils flared as he scented the honest smells of soap and sweat. He felt the trembling of the fingers that gripped his arm. He gentled his voice and let his words flow like silk over steel.

"My name, Blair. You do know my name?"

"Eli," Blair breathed. He watched the man for a heartbeat in time and then a curling sweep of lashes descended to hide those incredible, expressive eyes. "Eli."

"Sweet Christ," Stoddard groaned. He reached up and smoothed sweat stiffened strands of hair from the boy's face with tender fingers. "I forget sometimes how young you really are. You don't know, do you? You don't know how to ask me for what you want."

Sandburg stiffened. The lines of his slight body were trembling but he didn't-couldn't-move away. "What I want," he repeated and scarcely recognized the thickness of his voice. "What do you think I want?"

Eli didn't answer right away. Carefully, easily, he continued to comb through silky dishevelled curls. "It's okay," he murmured. "Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. I could never hurt you."

He moved slowly, deliberately, trying not to further frighten the boy. Cautiously, he shifted toward Blair. His hand stroked soft hair and then his fingers splayed against a warm cheek. He tilted Blair's face up.

"I've invited other students here, to my home. Haven't you wondered why I never asked you?"

Tentatively, Sandburg nodded. "I...I thought...I know I can be irritating," he said unsteadily, "I mean, I know I talk too much...ask too many questions."

Softly, Stoddard laughed. "Now, what kind of teacher would I be if I didn't encourage my students to ask questions?" His smile died and he shook his head. "No, Blair, it was because I knew that if you ever came here, this was going to happen and I am...was your teacher. It wouldn't have been ethical."

"What?" Blair queried plaintively. "What's happening?"

"I'm touching you," Stoddard explained, anthropologist patient. "Remember the American cultural taboo about males touching. We're standing far too close. Everything you know...everything you've ever been taught is telling you to put some distance between us. You're trembling. I can feel your body shake but still you're not moving away. As close as we are, it isn't close enough, is it, Blair? You'd like us to be even closer, wouldn't you? That's the reason why you came to me tonight."

Carefully, Stoddard shook off the nerveless fingers that clutched his sleeve and eased his arm around Sandburg's slender shoulders. Gently, he urged the youngster to face him and, suddenly, their respective clothing was the only barrier between them. He smiled.

"Tell me, Blair, are you seeing anyone? Do you have a girlfriend or...a boyfriend, perhaps?" he asked conversationally, amazed and pleased at the steady, blessed normalcy of his voice

Sandburg shook his head. "Look at me, man," he replied, in the self-deprecating tones with which Stoddard was too familiar. "I'm a geek. Girls aren't interested in me. I'm too young, too poor, too short... I guess it's pretty obvious that they think I'm strictly kid brother material. As for guys..." he paused. "It's not that I haven't...thought about...It's just that I've never ..." Another blush suffused his face and his words drifted away.

"So does that mean?" the professor hesitated. "That you've never been with anyone?" His grey eyes searched youthful features. "Made love with anyone?"

A wave of scarlet flooded Blair's cheeks. His lashes fluttered down, hiding his eyes. Again, he shook his head.

"Nobody wants me, man," he muttered.

'A virgin.' Eli thought, inordinately pleased.

His voice, when he spoke aloud remained quiet, matter-of-fact. "I want you, Blair," he replied. "Very badly, in fact."

Stoddard smiled as the boy's eyes rose disbelievingly to his face.

"I think you're very beautiful," the older man confessed, softly. He reached out and caught the student's chin as Sandburg stubbornly negated the words with a shake of his head.

"You are beautiful," Stoddard said firmly, " I've wanted you for a very long time. And I'm pretty sure that you want me too."

His innate honour forced Eli to speak once more, to offer Blair a choice.

"If I've got this wrong, kid," he growled, his words threaded with urgency. "Tell me. If you want me to stop, say so now."

Stoddard waited and Blair's continuing silence became an assent. Triumphantly, the professor smiled. His head bent and his lips brushed lightly across Blair's mouth; the briefest, lightest of caresses.

Blair Sandburg shuddered as though a live electric current flowed between them and then his body sagged into Stoddard. Passively, unresisting, he accepted the man's kiss.

Impatiently, Eli muttered something incomprehensible. His fingers fisted in long, unruly curls and he dragged the boy's head back.

"Open your mouth," Stoddard muttered.

Blair's lips parted and Eli made a noise deep in the back of his throat. His mouth covered Blair's, his tongue penetrated damp heat. Carefully, he explored, tasting beer and the harsher redolence of tobacco. He felt the boy quake against him and then, shyly, Blair's tongue rose to meet his. His lips moved in an eager, clumsy attempt to kiss Eli back. Warm, ragged gusts of breath whispered between them. Mouths pressed, clung, parted and then came together again. They swapped slick saliva and when Eli captured the rough velvet of Blair's tongue and sucked it into his mouth, the boy groaned deep in his throat.

Eli carded through dark curls with the fingers of one hand. His second hand roamed restlessly over slender shoulders and an elegantly arched back to finally slide lower into the pocket of Blair's jeans. Without pretence, he pulled the boy hard against him, inviting him to feel the erection that pulsed beneath his fly. With wonder, he became aware of a throbbing twin to his own, gently humping his thigh. When Eli finally raised his head, both he and Blair were panting. Two hearts pounded like thunder.

Stoddard drew back just a little and his grey eyes flickered over a flushed, young face.

"So," he said, softly, ironically. "I guess I wasn't wrong."

He didn't give Sandburg a chance to reply or to change his mind. His head dipped. His lips briefly nuzzled Blair's mouth and then he reached down and took the boy's hand, entwining their fingers. Gently, he tugged.

Apparently willing, Blair followed him from the living room into the long corridor. Their footsteps echoed loudly on gleaming hardwood. Stoddard paused in the doorway of the master bedroom. He cast a quick, sideways glance at his companion. Blair's face was ashen beneath its golden tan. His eyes were very bright, very blue. He looked frightened and impossibly young.

Like liquid warmth, a wave of tenderness flooded through Stoddard's chest. He stepped across the threshold and drew Blair with him. He freed Blair's hand and then turned to face the student.

Nervously, Sandburg glanced around the tastefully decorated room. He gulped audibly as his gaze rested on the huge bed. His head went down and a curtain of dark curls hid his expression.

"Nothing has happened yet, Blair," Eli Stoddard said softly. "Nothing will happen unless you ask for it. If you like, we can turn around right now and I'll drive you back to the city and we'll never mention this again. Is that what you want?"

He didn't wait for a reply. Instead, Stoddard's fingers moved to tangle in thick curls.

"It's okay if you're feeling nervous right now. It's perfectly natural to be nervous your first time or with a new lover. Tell me, Blair, do you trust me?"

Shy, incredibly blue, eyes flickered up to meet his gaze and then the boy nodded, "Yes."

"Good," Eli replied. "Then, I expect you to trust me not to hurt you in any way-not to do anything that will make you feel uncomfortable. " He smiled, reassuringly. His fingers resumed petting the boy's hair. "I'm not going to hurt you, Blair. All I'm going to do is touch you in ways that will feel good...and then teach you touch me. Okay?"

Hesitantly, the youngster nodded and Eli's smile flickered and died.

"Out loud, please," he said patiently. "I told you I need to hear you say the words."

"Yes," Blair's voice was a low groan, barely audible. "Yes, I want you to touch me and I want to...learn to touch you."

Eli Stoddard smiled. "Good," he returned with a satisfaction that bordered on smugness. He paused and considered the boy. "Did you like it when I kissed you?" he asked. "How did it make you feel?"

Blair Sandburg cleared his throat. "Like I was melting," he replied, with youthful honesty, speaking despite his embarrassment. "Here." He touched his lower gut. "Inside."

"So it felt good?" Eli persisted.

The youngster nodded shyly. Nervously, the tip of his tongue emerged to moisten his kiss swollen lips.

"It felt good," he admitted.

Stoddard's grey eyes were drawn to that tiny movement. As his gaze focussed on that incredible mouth he immediately had a vision of those lush, full lips wrapped around his cock. With some difficulty, he dragged his gaze up to clear blue eyes. His voice was husky when he resumed his interrogation.

"You liked it when my tongue was in your mouth, tasting you, licking you? Did you imagine what it would be like to feel my mouth on other parts of your body?"

Lightly, his fingertips brushed a zippered fly then slowly, deliberately traced the outline of the erection that throbbed there.

The boy started and took a small, involuntary step backward.

Eli Stoddard muttered a soft imprecation and reached out and caught slender shoulders. He pulled the boy to him. His head bent and his mouth captured Blair's soft protest. His tongue urged the youngster's lips apart and explored the damp warmth within. He licked the rough texture of Blair's tongue, tested the sharpness of smooth, even teeth and slick gums. Leisurely, he acquainted himself with the intriguing shape of a hot, wet mouth. He kissed the boy and, unashamedly, used cumulative years of experience to rouse him to response. Stoddard's hands slid from Blair's shoulders over his back and then lower. Impatiently, his touch hampered by soft, wornwhite denim, he stroked his palms over Blair's enticingly curved ass.

The boy surrendered.

Eli Stoddard groaned softly as he felt slender, sinewy arms loop around his neck. He reached down and tugged Blair's tee shirt up. While his teeth gently nibbled Blair's lips, his hand enjoyed the luxury of touching smooth, warm skin. His fingers burrowed beneath the thick, damp hair at the nape of Blair's neck, traced sharp shoulder blades, and then skimmed up and down a knobby spine. Finally, he drew away just long enough to pull the boy's shirt off. He dropped the garment to the floor and the palms of his hands swept across a developing, lightly furred chest.

"God," Blair Sandburg whispered.

"Beautiful," Eli muttered. "You're so beautiful."

Reverently, he mapped Blair's chest and torso. His nails lightly scraped the ridge of a defined collarbone and then carefully traced each curving rib. Gently, he pressed his knuckles against a flat, quivering belly and his hands rose. He cupped the boy's pecs and forefingers and thumbs teased dusky nipples to erection.

Blair looked down and bit his lips as he watched the hands move against his skin. He made no protest as Stoddard pushed him toward the bed.

"Lie down," the man commanded.

Gingerly, Sandburg lowered himself to sit on the unyielding mattress. A little uncertainly, he watched Eli shrug out of his jacket and then unbutton his shirt and pull the material from his pants.

"Lie down," Stoddard repeated, gruffly.

Awkwardly obedient, Blair eased himself onto his back. His eyes closed as, a moment later, his teacher joined him.

Eli Stoddard lay on his side, his head propped up on his crooked wrist. His right hand trailed lazy circles over the youngster's chest. As Blair would have spoken, the man leaned over and kissed him, swallowing his words.

Sandburg whimpered and turned blindly into his professor's embrace. Their upper bodies, unencumbered by clothing, pressed together, warmth against warmth. He barely noticed the fingers at his waistband, unfastening his jeans. The rasp of the zipper alerted him and his eyes flew open.

Stoddard soothed him with a soft sound.

"Relax," he muttered against the boy's mouth. "'s'okay. Just relax."

He parted denim and reached within. Swiftly, he found what he was looking for.

"Spread your legs," he told the boy. Impatience or anticipation roughened his tones.

Apparently, Blair didn't move quickly enough because Eli turned into him. His knee inserted itself between Blair's thighs, parting them.

Blair gasped into Stoddard's mouth as he felt the gentle, intimate touch of someone else's hand against his cock.

"Oh, God," he breathed. He dragged his lips from Eli's. His head moved from side to side, snarling his curls.

Eli moved closer, the heat of his chest against the boy's arm. With practiced ease, he drew his palm over Blair's erection, feeling it lengthen and grow.

"Feel good?" he growled. "You like it when I touch you?"

The youngster groaned his assent and sought greater contact. Eagerly, he thrust upward against Stoddard's hand. Obedient to the unspoken command, Eli increased the pressure. For long moments, he rubbed sensitive flesh and then, abruptly, he dragged his hand from Blair's jeans. He rolled off the bed, ignoring his companion's soft cry of protest.

Eli Stoddard loomed over his student; storm grey eyes memorizing the enticing image of a half-clad Blair Sandburg sprawled wantonly on the edge of his bed. His jeans gaped open and the tip of his cock was just barely visible above the elastic waist of his boxers. Stoddard blinked and then forced himself to kneel on the carpeted floor, between Blair's legs. With shaking fingers, he untied the boy's shoes, pulling off one leather sneaker, and then the second. He peeled off white sweat socks and then gripped the cuffs of the boy's Levi's. He tugged the material down, smiling as Blair raised his hips to assist him. Carelessly, Stoddard dropped the jeans into a crumpled heap. He rose to his feet and met Blair's eyes. For the first time that night, he couldn't read the boy's expression.

Stoddard swallowed hard. "Take off your boxers," he instructed the youngster. "I want to see you naked."

For just an instant, Blair hesitated and then he hooked his thumbs beneath the elasticized waist and dragged his underwear down. Unwittingly sensuous, he wriggled and writhed as he eased white cotton over his hips and legs and then finally kicked them away. His slender, circumcised cock was hard and flushed and jutted upward from its thatch of wiry curls to curve toward his belly. Blair made no move to hide himself from his teacher's hungry eyes.

Eli smiled approvingly. "Scoot up," he told the boy.

He waited while Blair positioned himself higher up in the bed, his head resting against the pillows and then joined Sandburg on the mattress. He leaned over Blair and kissed him, taking Sandburg's mouth at the same time as he reached between the boy's legs.

Blair groaned. His lips opened wide in invitation. Eli's tongue delved deeper into the warmth of Blair's mouth. When the kiss finally ended, Eli moved down. His mouth trailed over a bristled jaw and an arched throat and across the boy's chest. He nuzzled Blair's nipples, licking and nipping them until Blair cried out. Inexorably, Stoddard moved lower, lips and tongue trailing wet heat, until he crouched between the boy's knees. While his hand continued to milk Blair's cock, he pressed his lips briefly to its throbbing, rosy head.

Blair bucked upward. "Oh Christ," he yelped.

Stoddard's hand immediately stilled and he raised his head. His grin was suddenly feral.

"No need to ask if you liked that." His eyes devoured a naked body. "God, Blair. You're perfect. Incredibly responsive," he said, huskily. "Do you know how hot you look like this, kid? How long I've waited to have you here in my bed?"

He reached over and snagged a thick, velvet cushion and manoeuvred it beneath the boy's hips.

Blair groaned and thrust up into the hand that still held him. "Please," he whimpered. "Please, Eli..."

"What? What do you want?" Stoddard gritted out. "Do you want me to stop? 'Cause, I don't think I can. So, I'm gonna get you off. But I'll leave the choice of how to you. Do you want me to use my hand or my mouth? Do you want me to jerk you off? Do you want me to suck your cock? Tell me, Blair. You have to say the words."

"Do something," Blair groaned. He surged upward again.

Stoddard pressed his hand firmly against the boy's hip, holding him down.

"Easy...easy," he soothed. "Tell me what you need."

Sandburg's head moved restively against the pillow. "Your mouth," he gasped. "Lick me, Eli."

Obediently, Stoddard leaned forward and touched his tongue to the slitted head of Blair's cock. He carefully licked up the single drop of precum and then dragged his tongue up and down the iron hard shaft, laving the big vein on the underside until it was wet and glistening. When Eli raised his head, a single silver thread of saliva connected them and then shivered away.

"Fuck," Blair groaned. "Oh, Jesus. Oh fuck." He reached out and the fingers of his hand restlessly petted Eli's thick, dark hair. "More please."

Stoddard urged the boy to raise his hips higher and the tip of his tongue lightly stroked heavy, furry balls.

Sandburg arched his back off the mattress and thrust toward the elusive warmth. "Suck me," he begged, his voice breaking. " Please Eli, I want...I need... "

Obedient to the plea, Eli drew the head of Blair's cock into his mouth and sucked it hard.

"Yesss..." Blair hissed.

His own erection throbbing sympathetically beneath the zipper that trapped it, Eli Stoddard backed up a bit and leaned over his student and took as much of Blair into his throat as he could. He wrapped his fingers around the hard shaft and his head bobbed forward and backward, hand and mouth moving together. Finally, Sandburg's fingers tightened in his hair, holding him immobile and roughly, without regard, the boy fucked the wet yielding warmth of Eli's throat. One, two three hard thrusts and then he came suddenly, flooding Stoddard's mouth with the bitter salt of his seed.

Blair Sandburg collapsed, shuddering, against the bed. His arm came up to shield his eyes.

"Oh God," he cried in shame and embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Eli wiped the last traces of spit and semen from around his mouth. He cleared his throat and pressed his lips against Blair's inner thigh.

"Don't," he said hoarsely. "Don't apologize. It was wonderful. You were wonderful."

"But I..." Sandburg's head moved against the silky quilted comforter. "I...came in your mouth. I'm sorry. It just felt so good. I couldn't stop."

"You weren't supposed to stop," Eli Stoddard replied, his voice rich with amusement. "I love the way you taste."

He nuzzled his face against musk-scented pubic curls and carefully licked up any stray drops of come. Gracefully, he pulled himself up to lie next to the boy. He tugged Blair's arm down, captured his chin and tilted the youngster's face to him. He pressed his lips to Blair's mouth, offering him a taste of his own essence. As Sandburg tried to resist, Eli's fingers tightened along his jaw. He kissed the boy deeply, kissed him until he felt Blair's boneless acquiescence. He drew away, and his grey eyes travelled across flushed, youthful features.

"You're beautiful." Eli breathed. "So incredible. Next time, I want to see your face when I make you come." His fingertips trailed over Blair's chest. "I dreamt of this, you know." There was a sudden huskiness in Stoddard's voice as he uttered the confession. "I'd look at you across the classroom, standing there, challenging me.... your eyes bright, your cheeks warm, and all I'd be able to think about was how much I wanted you. Here. In my bed."

Restlessly, Sandburg's moved.

"I..." he swallowed hard as his crystal blue eyes focussed on the handsome, masculine face so close to his own. "I thought of you, too," he admitted. "But I didn't know...I didn't know..."

Stoddard laughed softly. He snuggled closer to the youngster. His arm came across Blair's chest, holding him possessively. His lips fluttered against the boy's temple.

"Didn't know what?"

"That it would be like this," Sandburg replied, with youthful candour. "What you did...when you sucked me..." Heat flamed in his cheeks. "It felt so good...like I was melting down, imploding..."

"Hmm." Stoddard reached down, gently stroking the damp, slightly sticky flesh between the boy's legs. "You have a beautiful cock," he said. "I loved giving you pleasure. I loved it when you fucked my mouth. " He smiled.

Sandburg shuddered and, immediately, Eli gingerly sat up, mindful of his own unrelieved hard-on.

"You're cold," he said tenderly, ignoring his frustration.

"Come on, get into bed properly, under the covers." He urged the boy upright and pulled back the bedclothes. "Come on, Blair. Crawl in."

Eli drew sheets and blankets up over a slender body. His palm swept the tangled mess of curls.

"I've got to leave you for a bit," he said slowly, apologetically. "The dog...Prince is waiting for his walk. You nap. I'll be back soon."

Sleepily, Blair nodded. Curling lashes fluttered down over his eyes. For a few moments, his face infinitely tender, Eli Stoddard stood watching the boy and then his hands rose to button his shirt. He turned and was very nearly to the door when Blair spoke.

"Eli."

Stoddard paused and then swung back to the boy. Blair's voice was soft, dreamy.

"You said you'd...teach me to touch you. Don't be too long. I want you here. Beside me."

"I'll be right back," Eli said reassuringly, the words threaded with warmth. "Sleep for a bit. I'll wake you."

"'kay," Blair Sandburg agreed. He was already asleep before Stoddard left the room.

MAY 2000

*You walked past me. I can feel your pain, Time changes everything.
One truth always stays the same,
You're still you, after all.
You're still you*

He had minored in psych (at Yale not Rainier, thank God) way back in his misspent youth. He was, therefore, well aware that tardiness was an indication of a passive-aggressive personality. Despite that-or perhaps because of it-Eli Stoddard lingered outside the building until the formal proceedings were in progress. He was further delayed by a security check and the ceremony was well underway when he finally slipped into the room. He settled uneasily into one of the folding chairs at the back, close to the exit.

Almost reluctantly, he glanced around. Not unlike the convocation room at Hargrove Hall, this unfamiliar place was spacious, large enough to accommodate the families of the celebrants. All around him, he saw the beaming pride reflected in the faces of husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters.

There was still enough of an anthropologist in Stoddard to recognize that the ceremony going on was a rite of passage. Similar to the warrior-initiates of other tribes, these particular young people just happened to wear sharply creased dress blue uniforms rather than lion skins and loincloths. The elders of the tribe rose, one by one, from their chairs on the stage, to take a turn at the podium. Like their counterparts throughout the world, they enjoyed the same long-winded facility. Resigned, Eli settled back into his chair.

'What the fuck am I doing here?' he wondered again.

One hand rose to pinch the bridge of his nose. His relationship with Blair Sandburg had been a complicated, enduring thing. It had thrived despite the continent between them. The physical passion, initiated so tentatively that hot August weekend, had continued for nearly a decade. The virginal ingenue that Stoddard had seduced had morphed, over the years, into a familiar and demanding lover. When Eli was required in Cascade, three or four times each year, Blair stayed with him. And Eli had pulled strings to allow Blair, both as an undergraduate and then graduate student, to join any expedition that he had led at Rainier's behest.

Restlessly, Stoddard shifted and covered his burgeoning erection with the cardboard programme. As great as the sex had been, more importantly, a real friendship had grown up between them. Blair had been an ideal companion. His eagerness to learn, to experience absolutely everything provided Eli the opportunity to view the world through different eyes. In return, he'd continued mentoring his former student, suggesting topics for the papers that Blair had published in his academic career. Despite their age difference and their physical separation, the relationship had flourished. Eli liked Blair, had enjoyed spending time with him. Blair was...fun.

Eli Stoddard sighed and shifted uncomfortably on the hard seat of the folding chair. While Sandburg's dissertation disaster might have been the straw that ended their liaison, if Eli were honest, and really, what was the point of being less than honest with himself? Blair had begun withdrawing from him long before his public confession of academic fraud. When had it happened? A joyless smile tugged at Stoddard's thin lips as he answered his own question.

'Borneo.'

The expedition to Borneo would have been a real jewel in Blair Sandburg's academic crown and Eli Stoddard had designed it specifically with his young friend in mind. He had brought the details of the plan on one of his quarterly jaunts to Rainier; had invited Blair home after the obligatory lecture, and then watched with disbelief and dismay at the havoc he wreaked on the longest relationship he'd ever had with a human.

It was the first time that Blair had ever told him 'no'.

It was the first and last time that Blair had ever fucked him.

The voice of the Deputy Commissioner of Police droned on as Eli Stoddard remembered.

JANUARY 1994

*I look up to
Everything you are,
In my eyes you do no wrong.
And I believe in you,
Although you never asked me to*

He strode across the carpeted living room to the bar and banged the empty glass on the bar. He whirled to face the young man who sprawled boneless against the overstuffed cushions of the sofa, idly stroking the dog that leaned against him.

"Six months, for Christ's sake, Blair. It would only be six months."

Clear blue eyes met and held his own. "I'm sorry, Eli," Blair Sandburg replied, and, for a moment the boy that Stoddard remembered, reappeared. "Really, man. It would be like the coolest trip if I could... but I can't."

Stoddard strove for patience. "Tell me again just what's standing in your way?" he asked and his lips quirked up in a half-smile. "I mean the wilds of Borneo would have to be an improvement over that rat-infested warehouse you call home..."

Blair Sandburg grinned appreciatively even as he shrugged his shoulders. "Prob'ly," he returned easily. "But I told you already, man. I just scored the gig with the P.D. and I just can't afford to take six months off. They'd pull my observer's credentials."

Stoddard's lips compressed grimly. "Ah, yes," he muttered. "The infamous gig with the Cascade Police Department. Your dissertation material, The Thin Blue Line."

He didn't bother to hide his disappointment, or his disapproval, as he glared at the younger man. "It's crap and you know it. God, Blair, I've offering you a real anthropological opportunity, here."

Sandburg bent forward to rest his head against Prince' muzzle. The thick curtain of dark, silky curls swept down to hide his face. His voice was muffled.

"Please, Eli," he said. "Please don't do this..."

"Please don't do what?" Stoddard snapped. "Please don't care about you? Please don't help you?"

For just a few seconds longer, Blair nuzzled the dog and then gently pushed Prince away. He rose to his feet and followed Stoddard to the bar. Carefully, he stroked his fingertips over the back of Eli's hand.

"Don't spoil our time together," he said softly.

He gently pried Stoddard's fingers from around the tumbler, laced them with his own, and then lifted their joined hands and pressed his lips against Eli's palm.

"You're...you're acting like an asshole, man. It's been three months since I've seen you, Eli. I've...I've missed you."

Reluctantly, Stoddard raised winter grey eyes to the pleading blue ones, so close to his own.

His heart melted. "I've missed you, too," he replied softly, honestly.

The tip of Blair's tongue emerged and flicked teasingly over Eli's wrist.

"I wanna make love with you," he said.

He didn't wait for a reply and instead tightened his grip on the older man's hand. Without hesitation, he tugged Eli toward the master bedroom.

Eli Stoddard stood motionless, watching his former student.

Casually, Blair reached up and removed his flannel shirt and then stripped off the grey Henley he wore beneath it. He dropped the garments and then, bare-chested, approached Stoddard.

"Need some help, old man?" he asked huskily.

He raised his hands and flicked open the buttons of Eli's suit jacket and slipped it from his shoulders and then laid it neatly across the chair that perched in the corner of the room. He returned to Stoddard and considered him before rising up on his toes and touching his lips to Eli's mouth.

"I missed you, man."

He drew back before the kiss deepened and his palms rested on Stoddard's shoulders before skimming down to his wrists. Carefully, he removed Stoddard's cuff links. Eli watched as Blair walked with them and dropped them with a clatter into the box atop the highboy dresser. A little bemused, he waited until the young man returned.

Blair caught the tip of his tongue between even white teeth as he unknotted the black silk tie around Eli's throat. Gentle fingers unbuttoned the starched collar of the white shirt and then moved briefly beneath the material to smooth over reddened flesh. He pulled Eli's head down and gently nuzzled his mouth.

"I love that you care about me," he muttered. "Thank you."

He unbuttoned the white shirt as far as he could, pausing every now and then to press his lips against Eli's chest. Nimble fingers unbuckled the belt and black leather hissed as it slithered from the tiny loops of material that held it. Blair doubled the warm leather and then gently stroked it across Eli's cheek.

"I really missed you."

He tossed the belt onto the chair and then opened the band of Eli's trousers and pulled down the zipper. Carefully, he unbuttoned the rest of the shirt and drew the material up and apart. The palms of his hands slid up over Stoddard's chest to his shoulders and he eased white cotton from the man's body. For long moments, his eyes inspected the bared torso and then he glanced up at his former teacher through his lashes.

"You like to fuck me."

It wasn't a question but Eli Stoddard cleared his throat and answered anyway.

"Uh, yeah."

Sandburg nodded. He reached around Stoddard and the fur on his chest rubbed sensuously against warm, newly bared skin.

"Anybody ever fuck you, Eli?"

His finers burrowed beneath the material of dress pants and underwear and curved possessively over Stoddard's ass.

"I'd really like to put my cock up your ass. Would you let me?"

Again, he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled the man hard against him and gently humped his erection against Stoddard's thigh. He nuzzled against Eli's chest, searching out a nipple. His teeth closed around the little nub. He nipped and then soothed the momentary hurt with his tongue. Reluctantly he pulled his hands from the older man's briefs.

"Sit on the bed, man."

He had never been harder in his life. Obediently, Stoddard turned holding up his sagging pants. He perched on the edge of the bed and waited. Moments later, he looked down on the bowed curly head of his kneeling former student. He watched as Sandburg untied each shoe in turn and pulled them off. Black dress socks were peeled down and, reflexively, Eli wiggled his toes.

Briefly, Blair massaged each bare foot and then glanced up through the curls that fallen over his face.

"You've got great feet, man," he murmured.

He tugged on the cuffs of Eli's pant legs and pulled them off. Careful of the creases, he neatly smoothed the material, rose gracefully, and laid the trousers across Stoddard's jacket. His eyes were bright as he turned to regard the other man. His grin, irrepressible and innocent, was totally at odds with his next words.

"Take off your briefs, Eli. I want to see you naked."

Stoddard shivered. "What about you?" he countered hoarsely.

Blair's eyebrow rose and without hesitation his hand came to the front of his jeans. Firmly, he dragged the palm of his right hand over the erection that throbbed beneath worn soft denim and then deliberately he unbuttoned his Levis. The zipper rasped loudly as he dragged it down. He toed off his sneakers and then wriggled out of his jeans and boxers.

Eli Stoddard swallowed hard. He was naked by the time Blair joined him in the bed. He reached out blindly and drew the younger man to him. One hand fisted in thick curly hair. Their mouths touched and for the first time in three months they kissed properly. Blair's lips opened and hungrily Eli reacquainted himself with the tastes and textures of his lover's mouth. His free hand roamed across the slender muscled strength of Sandburg's back and shoulders.

Finally, panting for breath, Blair Sandburg tugged away from the older man. His fever bright eyes swept Stoddard's face. He raised a slim dark and his fingers gently raked thick, dark hair from Stoddard's brow.

"I really missed you."

He reached down and took hold of Eli's cock. His thumb smoothed across the dripping slit and then circled the head.

"So, you never answered me, man. Anybody ever fuck you?"

Stoddard shuddered. Carefully, he untangled his fingers from Blair's curls. "No." Curtly, he bit out the word. "I've never been interested..."

Blair's fingers tightened on the iron hard flash and firmly, he pulled once, twice. "Feels like you're interested to me."

Abruptly, he released his hold and then clambered, a little awkwardly, to his knees. He leaned over Stoddard.

"I'm gonna blow you, man. Take the edge off a little."

Briefly, he kissed the older man and then reached behind them and tugged the bedclothes down.

"Move up, Eli. Get in properly."

Taken aback, and more than a little turned on, by his young lover's new aggressiveness, Eli Stoddard obeyed.

Blair Sandburg gently urged Eli onto his side and he curled his body away and out of reach of the man. He pillowed his curly head on one of Eli's thighs. Firmly, slender, calloused fingers tightened around Stoddard's cock and began the quick and dirty motions perfected by adolescent boys everywhere. His tongue flicked out and teased the heavy asymmetrical balls.

"I love how you taste, Eli," he groaned, his voice barely audible. "God, I love how you taste, here."

He scooted closer, and the ragged ends of his curls dragged across Stoddard's thigh. He nuzzled closer. His mouth stretched open and he sucked the sparsely haired sacs. His tongue swirled across the bumpy flesh and then delicately traced the line that defined the two.

Stoddard groaned at the intimate touch that was both too much and not nearly enough. His muscles tensed.

"Blair..."

Without haste, Sandburg obeyed the wordless command. He gently lapped the delicate perineum and then raised his head. His blue eyes were bright with a hunger that shivered through Eli's soul. The younger man slowly shifted to his knees again, pausing just long enough to display his own throbbing erection to Eli.

"Look, man," he muttered, stroking his shaft. "Look what you do to me."

Reluctantly, he left his own needs. He urged Eli flat on his back and then knelt between his legs.

"Spread 'em wider," he urged the older man. "And lift up."

The cushion shoved beneath Stoddard's hips, optimized the contact. Blair wrapped his fingers around the pulsing shaft and then took the velvet smooth head into his mouth. His cheeks hollowed as he sucked Eli deep into throat. Copious amounts of his spit, dribbling downward, combined with Eli's precum and allowed his hand to glide swiftly on Stoddard's cock.

It was messy, hot, and over too soon. Eli braced his heels against the mattress and thrust up into Blair's mouth and groaned his release.

Blair Sandburg swallowed the hot, bitter-salt musk that filled his mouth and milked the cock through its last tremors. His lips glistened with traces of semen and spit. He crawled up Eli's body and then leaned down to kiss the other man.

"Taste yourself, Eli," he said against Stoddard's mouth.

Eli shook with the aftershocks of his orgasm. His head moved against the pillow.

"I want to touch you."

Blair grinned but this time there was nothing innocent in his face. His eyes, the pupils huge and dilated, were lit with a predatory gleam.

"Gonna come in you when I fuck you, man."

Sandburg slid off Stoddard's and then firmly pushed against a broad shoulder.

"You gotta turn over, Eli. Lay on your stomach."

His body was sated and lazy with pleasure so Stoddard allowed himself to be manipulated into the position that Sandburg wanted. He tensed as Blair's knees came on either side of him. He could feel the younger man's erection, rigid and leaking moisture, against the small of his back.

When he spoke again, there was an edge in his voice, "Blair..."

"Shh," Sandburg soothed. "S'okay, Eli. I'm not gonna hurt you. Gonna make this so good for you."

His palms slid across the expanse of Eli's shoulders. He leaned forward and the tangled length of his hair shivered against warm skin. He lapped at the little hollow at the nape of Eli's neck and then pressed a sweet, open-mouthed kiss against one shoulder blade. The even line of his teeth scraped gently across bone and he moved slowly down, mouth, lips and tongue arousing, hands gentling.

Firmly, Blair pressed the heel of his hand against a curved flank.

"Crawl up a bit," he muttered. "Get on your knees. Rest your head on the pillow."

Eli groaned again. His cock, so recently spent, twitched with a renewed interest even as he shook his head.

"Blair," he said softly. "I don't want this."

He heard the laughter in rich tones as Sandburg settled between his legs.

"I won't do anything to you that you don't ask me too, man," Blair replied easily. "I'm not gonna force you. I'll stop anytime you ask me to."

"Christ, kid," Stoddard sighed. His lax muscles protested as he helplessly obeyed. "You're going to kill this old man."

A warm, flat tongue dragged wetly across one buttock and Eli shuddered.

"Nah," Blair promised softly. "Just gonna make you feel good."

He took his time. Leisurely, he licked and nipped unexplored territory. His talented fingers roved restlessly over Eli's upper body, reaching beneath him to gently tease flat nipples to erection and stroke delineated ribs. One hand traced the intricacies of an arched spine and then mapped the hollows of sharply defined hipbones. The outsides of his knees pressed against the insides of Eli's thighs and gradually manoeuvred the older man's legs further apart.

Eli Stoddard jerked forward at the first searing touch of a moist, hot tongue at the cleft of his ass.

"Christ."

Immediately, a gentle hand reached around his waist to close around his firming erection. A tender tug soothed him. He pushed into the fingers that gripped his cock and then jerked back as dripping warmth trailed between his cheeks.

Following the glistening track of his spittle, Blair Sandburg lapped wetly against the rounded crease before him. He licked downward to the perineum and gently nuzzle heavy, dangling testes. On the way back up, he paused to press the pointed tip of his stiffened tongue against the opening to Stoddard's body. The muscled ring that guarded the entrance tightened to resist the invader and then yielded slowly.

Helplessly, Eli gasped at the twin sensations. Involuntarily, he rocked forward into the hand that masturbated him and then drove backward, impaling himself further on velvet-sheathed heat.

"So good, Blair. Jesus, you feel so good."

He repeated the motion, again and again, each time feeling Blair's tongue plunge deeper into his body. The sensation abruptly ceased and Eli Stoddard growled a protest. Blair leaned past him, keeping one hand on his hip.

"Relax, man," Sandburg soothed. "S'okay. I'm not going anywhere."

He returned to his position behind Stoddard and, a moment later, Eli stiffened as he felt a gentle pressure against his asshole.

Blair's voice, honey smooth, came again. "Come on, Eli. We've done this before. You like it. It's just one finger, man. I'm pushing it in. Oh God, Eli. You're so hot. You're so tight."

Unprompted, Stoddard swayed back, his passage filled again. A warm, lubricant-slicked palm returned to his erection. Gentle seductive words encouraged him.

"Two fingers, Eli. Can you feel them? You like this, don't you? You like my fingers in your ass, opening you. God, man, your cock is so hard. You're gonna come so hard when I fuck you. I'm putting three fingers in now. I'm loosening you up. It feels good, doesn't it, Eli?"

Stoddard groaned his assent. A frisson of excitement and anticipation seared through his lower gut. He could feel the heat of Blair's body poised behind him. His ass burned, but the friction against his erection wasn't nearly enough to allow him to come.

"Please, Blair," he breathed. "I need...I want...more."

Abruptly, everything stopped. Frustrated, Eli Stoddard rose up on his hands. He glanced over his shoulder.

"What? Why did you...?"

Blair Sandburg grinned. He inched back and reached down to finger his own throbbing erection.

"Ya gotta ask, man," he rasped. "Tell me what you want, Eli."

Stoddard humped the cushion below him. "Jesus Christ, Blair, finish me."

Sandburg leaned forward. His lips nuzzled warmly over the raw silk skin of Stoddard's back.

"Tell me, man."

The blood pounded, as loud as thunder, in Stoddard's ears. With a muttered curse, he acquiesced. He turned away, lowered the weight of his upper body to rest on his elbows. His head went down. His words of capitulation were muffled.

"Fuck me, Blair."

He heard the rustling sounds behind him as Blair put on a condom and slicked himself with lubricant. As the head of Sandburg's cock touched his hole, Stoddard automatically braced himself.

Blair's voice was soft and chiding.

"You gotta relax, man. You're nice and loose inside. Just relax. I'll go as slow as you need."

He reached around the older man's waist and between his legs. His fingers tightened around Stoddard's flagging erection and teased it to full hardness. He pushed his cock into the man, incrementally, with incredible slowness and patience, ignoring Eli's stifled cry.

"Shh," Blair panted. With supreme will power, he remained still, allowing the older man to become accustomed to the intrusion. "It gets better, I promise."

Finally, he was all the way in, his balls resting against the heat of Eli's body. Again, he stopped, his erection pulsing within its hot sheathe. He hugged Stoddard's haunches and reined in his almost unbearable need to thrust. His hand pulled more quickly on Eli's cock until restlessly, the older man pressed back.

"Move, for Christ's sake."

Obediently, Blair withdrew slightly and then pushed forward again. There was nothing tentative about his movements. Nor did he allow Eli to elude him. He rocked back and forth, each time withdrawing a little more than the time before.

When outrage and discomfort changed to arousal, Stoddard had no idea, but gradually he began to anticipate Blair's movements and respond. His cock, engorged and needy, pushed eagerly into Blair's hand.

"I'm in you, man." Blair said hoarsely as Eli rocked back to meet his thrust. "Can you feel me touching you - filling you?"

Stoddard's reply was a grunt and he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt himself coming closer to completion. He felt his balls draw up and he cried out as his semen spewed all over Blair's hands. Seconds later Blair slammed into him one more time and his hoarse cry echoed Eli's.

Sweating and panting, they collapsed, still joined, onto the mattress. Blair's arms came around his lover's body, holding him. His mouth pressed against sweat slick skin. For a few moments, they lay together and then, gripping the top of the condom, Blair pulled gingerly from Eli's body. He stripped the condom from his flaccid organ, tied it off and rolled off the bed. He discarded the condom in the waste paper basket and stopped to pick up Eli's briefs. He hunkered down beside Stoddard's supine body and used the underwear to wipe up his lover. He folded the soiled garment and tossed it toward the hamper. He drew his hand over Eli's damp, muscled back.

"Hey there," Blair Sandburg said softly. "You okay?"

Sinuously, the older man stretched. He arched beneath Blair's touch. "I'm fine," he replied, the words muffled.

"Eli, look at me."

Sandburg smiled as Stoddard's head rose fractionally and turned toward him. Gently, his thumb smoothed away the moisture that lingered beneath Eli's grey eyes. His smile died.

"I'm gonna grab a shower. You wanna join me?"

Eli shook his head. He cleared his throat.

"You go ahead, kid. I think I'm going to have a nap."

" 'kay," Blair replied. He drew the sheet and blanket up and tenderly tucked them around Eli's body. He touched his lips briefly to Stoddard's cheek and then turned and padded into the adjoining bathroom.

Eli Stoddard stretched lazily and came awake as the mattress depressed. He struggled to open his eyes. Aching muscles protested as he turned to regard the fully clothed man who sat on the edge of the bed.

"Blair?"

Sandburg cleared his throat. "I took Prince out for his walk, Eli. Now, I'm taking off."

Stoddard blinked blearily and pushed himself up, ignoring the niggling twinges of his body.

"You're not staying?"

"Can't," the young man replied. "I'm meeting Ji...Detective Ellison at the station. We've got a stake-out tonight."

"I see," Eli said. He pressed the back of his hand against his tired eyes. " So, tell me Blair, are you fucking Detective Ellison, too?"

He regretted the words the moment he uttered them, would have given anything, in that instant, to withdraw them.

Blair Sandburg looked down at the man. His eyes were shuttered. His expressive features were blank.

"That's really not your business, Eli," he said into the silence. "Just like it's none of my business if you're fucking your wife. Any of your wives."

Eli Stoddard shuddered. "Blair, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, man," Blair Sandburg returned. "Me too."

He reached out and briefly stroked his fingertips against Stoddard's cheek.

"'night, Eli."

MAY 2000

*And in this cruel and lonely world,
I found one love,
You're still you, after all.
You're still you*

Like rituals everywhere, the ceremony ended when the shamans of the tribe called upon the gods to bless the new warriors. As the priest, rabbi and turbaned Sikh intoned their prayers, Eli Stoddard wondered, idly, what the punch line to their particular joke might be.

His eyes searched the backs of the heads of the line of cops who stood at parade rest to receive the best wishes of the Chief of Police. He didn't see any tell tale curls. Eli sighed. Of course, Blair would have cut his hair. That beautiful, glorious hair.

The last words died away; there was a collective cheer from the audience, a burst of applause. The newly inducted police officers tossed their visored caps into the air.

Curiously dispassionate, Eli watched, and automatically thought of the grads at Rainier throwing off their mortarboards at the end of commencement ceremonies.

He stood back while families and friends swarmed the latest inductees. Slowly Eli rose to his feet. His eyes narrowed as he tried to glimpse Blair Sandburg through the crowds of people. And then he saw him, a slender, military straight figure, shorter than most of the others-at least the other male cops.

An unwilling smile touched Eli's mouth. Eclectic Blair Sandburg had apparently adopted, or been adopted by, a most unusual family. The hippy mother was not apparent, nor were there any familiar faces from Rainier. Instead, three black 'brothers', each larger than the next, surrounded Sandburg. A young, dark-haired, dark-eyed, white 'brother'-wearing an Armani knock-off-reached out to tousle shorter, shaggy curls. Sandburg's 'sister' was fashion impaired and apparently Australian, judging by her accent. She squealed and shouted her approval very loudly.

Involuntarily, unable to resist, Eli Stoddard started forward.

He was not part of this family. He was not-had not been-part of Blair Sandburg's life for a very long time. He hadn't slept with Blair after that terrible night; had only met him for coffee a couple of times afterward. Hell, he hadn't spoken to Blair for years. He hadn't responded to Blair's letter apologizing for the scandal of the fraudulent dissertation. Years of silence yawned between them.

So, what was he doing here?

Mechanically, Stoddard continued walking. His shoulders tightened and he admitted the truth.

He was here because Blair had invited him to come. He was here because he missed his friend. He was here to end the silence. He was here because of love.

Dr. Eli Stoddard halted a few feet away from the happy group as he noted the deliberate approach of another man from the far side of the room. Stoddard paused, eyeing the newcomer. He was taller than Eli, handsome if somewhat sombre, and had the toned muscles of an athlete. He threaded through the crowds of people with the sure, easy grace of a big cat.

Eli glanced back at Blair and saw the younger man's gaze intuitively turn to track the big man's arrival. Sheer gladness blazed in Blair Sandburg's blue eyes. Eli watched as an impossibly incandescent grin lit Blair's face.

The 'siblings' automatically gave way to the big man as he finally reached Blair's side. He greeted Blair quietly and his serious face crinkled into a wondrously unexpected warm smile. He reached out and his thumb briefly brushed across a high cheekbone.

"Are you okay, Chief?"

Blair's grin flashed even brighter and he seemed to incline into the gentle caress. His shorter hair revealed his expressive features more clearly and strangely he looked even younger than Eli remembered.

"I'm good, Jim," Sandburg replied quietly.

Eli Stoddard's heart pounded in his chest as he took another three strides forward. He could feel the 'siblings' eyes-suspicious cops' eyes-on him but he ignored them and moved to stand before his one-time friend. He waited silently until Blair finally dragged his attention from Ellison to greet him. He watched Blair's smile falter. He saw delight give way to surprise. A number of different emotions chased across a young face. Eli recognized wariness and fear.

His heart broke when he saw the aching vulnerability.

Eli Stoddard spoke quietly, "Hello, Blair."

The younger man drew himself to attention, shoulders squaring beneath his uniform jacket. Gently, he shook off the protective hand that Jim had automatically placed on his arm.

"Hello, Eli," he replied, quietly. "I didn't know you were here."

Stoddard attempted a smile. "I waited on the street 'til the show was underway. I wasn't sure if I was I was actually going to come in or not."

"Then you woulda travelled a really long way to look at the outside of the Cascade Municipal Building, man," Blair returned. Blue eyes, a child's eyes in a young man's handsome face, rose to meet Eli's own. "Why are you here?"

Stoddard shrugged, "Because you asked me to come," he replied, simply. "I missed you." He hesitated and considered the younger man. "Why did you invite me?"

It was Sandburg's turn to hesitate. He measured his words and spoke carefully. "I promised you an invitation to my graduation," he said. He raised one shoulder. "It's the only thing you ever asked me for, Eli." His tones were suddenly uncertain, " Even though I know this isn't exactly what you had in mind."

Stoddard glanced up at the man-Jim-who stood protectively behind Blair. Pale blue eyes were watching him and he was astounded to read the plea in those depths. Eli swallowed hard at the lump in his throat. He looked back at Blair and then smiled-a real smile-this time. He reached out for the younger man.

"All I ever wanted..." he began. He stopped as he decided to extend his new honesty policy beyond himself. "All I ever should have wanted was for you to be happy," he said.

His voice broke as he took the younger man into his arms. He hugged Blair Sandburg tightly and then released him and stepped back. He looked down into tear bright eyes.

"Are you happy, kid?'

Blair Sandburg let out a long breath. "Yeah," he replied. "I'm happy."

Eli Stoddard nodded. "Then nothing else matters," he said firmly.

He reached out again and drew the palm of his hand over cropped curls and smiled at his former student. He searched for words and finally found what he needed to say.

"I'm proud of you, Son."

He watched, astounded, as Blair swiftly dragged the sleeve of his jacket across his eyes.

"Shit, Eli. Look what you've done, man. I promised myself I wouldn't disgrace myself by bawling, today."

This time Sandburg reached out. He caught Stoddard's arm. "Come and meet everybody."

Jim Ellison was introduced first, of course. The names of the 'siblings' swirled around Eli's ears. Joel. Simon. Henri. Megan. Brian.

Blair bounced excitedly on his the toes of his clunky, black boots.

"The guys are taking me out for a celebration, Eli. Why don't you come with us?"

Instinctively, Eli Stoddard looked up into Jim Ellison's eyes. He was surprised and a little proud of the warmth and approval he saw there.

Slowly, he shook his head. "Thanks, Blair," he replied, quietly. "This is a time for you and your family. Why don't you come to the house for dinner tomorrow, instead? You and your...partner. I'll get Ysabella," his smile was rueful. "My wife, to put out a spread."

Automatically, Blair Sandburg glanced toward Jim Ellison. The detective nodded as he answered for them both.

"Thank you, Dr. Stoddard," the big man said quietly. "We'd be honoured."

Eli Stoddard nodded. "Call me," he told Blair. "The number is the same."

Blair Sandburg, dwarfed by his oversized escort, turned and walked away.

Eli watched them leave. He felt a little lonely, but more alive than he had been for ages.

Maybe he could find a place in this family.

And maybe he had been a father figure, after all

End Father Figure by sange: sange_666@hotmail.com

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