Author's webpage: http://www.squidge.org/~pumpkin/

Author's disclaimer: since both shows are off the air, i kinda feel like that gives me the right to play with them, since thier creators have cruelly abandoned them after treating them badly.

Author's notes: it's taken me a very long time to finish this. kudos go to shelagh (critter!) for her continuing efforts on behalf of the story i love my squash and miss her, and i cry for iroshi, who is being far stronger than i ever could in the face of her tragedy.

Feedback: well, duh. please :)

"HOW FAR, Ellison?!"

Juggling the limp body of Ensign Redman, First Officer Chakotay of the Starship Voyager bellowed over the rising wind at the man several yards behind him on the narrow mountain trail. Rain lashed his face, slicking his hair back and soaking his uniform clear through with an icy chill.

"Quarter-mile, maybe closer!" Ellison shouted back, his own arms filled by the stocky, heavy body of Ensign Kim. Both of the wounded had been caught unawares by a pack of small reptilian creatures that closely resembled ancient Earth dinosaurs. That were also, it was now obvious, highly poisonous.

"We've got to get to those caves!" Struggling through the gluey mud behind Ellison, Lt.Tom Paris had one hand looped securely through the strap of Ellison's carryall and the other arm wrapped around Ellison's Guide, who was too busy trying to run herd on his Sentinel's overwrought senses to pay attention to his own footing. Covered in mud from head-to-toe from several dangerous slips, he now clung to Tom like a lifeline.

"Sandburg!" Chakotay shouted at the youngest man, and Tom gave him a shake. "Can he pinpoint the caves??"

Rousing when Tom shook him again, the Guide stared at his commanding officer with eyes that were darker than the stormy sky above.

"Um, ah, give me a minute..." Closing those eyes, the empath pressed both fists to his temples as he struggled to make sense of the multiple images Ellison's mind was reeling with. "Narrow it down, Jim!" Leaning closer to his mate, the Guide pressed his face into Ellison's back, offering the calm of his own mind to combat the chaos Ellison was feeling. Paris moved to support him, stumbled and almost fell, and then the Sentinel was standing very still, his eyes open but unseeing, the rain hitting him like needle-pointed ice.

Then he snapped out of it and Sandburg staggered backwards, arms flailing. Grabbing him Tom lost his own precarious balance and they both went down again.

"I can hear them!" Ellison shouted, and a smile, totally out of place under these circumstances, spread slowly over his face. "I can hear the caves - they're quiet!"

"Then get them up and let's find them!!" Chakotay bellowed again. He was cold and angry and worried - and in no mood to deal with the bizarre happiness of a new-hatched Sentinel.

"Ungh." With a grunt Sandburg latched onto Ellison's leg and laboriously pulled himself up, leaving the larger man amply smeared with the mud. Paris followed suit and they all began moving again. Ellison jogged, his footing secure even in this, passing Chakotay, who tagged along behind, trying to balance Redman and the medkit he carried.

"They're right on our tails!" Ellison shouted. The first officer spared a worried glance to the rear, but couldn't make out anything moving in the grey wet nightmare that had been a pleasant planet only twenty minutes ago.

Trying to look behind him and watch his footing in the treacherous mud, Chakotay almost missed the small cave entrance, jogging several steps past it before the sight registered in his overworked brain.

"Here!" He shouted, the words snatched away by the wind and rain.

Stumbling, he banged his elbow against the surrounding rocks hard enough to numb his arm to the hand. This made holding onto Redman difficult at best, and he lost the ensign's upper body, the poor man's head hitting the mud with a wet squishing sound.

The entrance wasn't very big, but Chak figured that if he could turn sideways and squeeze in....

No, that wasn't going to work.

The others were behind him and Ellison was doing his listening thing again, Tom supporting the Guide behind him.

Trying to move quickly, Chak lay Redman in the mud; he was already wet and filthy, it wasn't going to hurt him, and squeezed himself through. Tossing a small torch into the recesses of the cave, which was smaller than he'd hoped, he turned back and began to pull the ensign in, trying very hard to not bump him anymore than he had to.

Once Redman was in Tom followed, and then Ellison was pushing Sandburg in, using both hands and swearing under his breath.

"Damn, they're almost here, I can smell them, hear them, they're right around the corner...!"

Sprawling on the hard rock floor, Sandburg yelped in pain and then turned to grab at the Sentinel and tug at him. Even larger than Chakotay, the security officer was an even tighter fit. Tom joined in and between the two of them they managed to get him in.

"They're right outside!" Ellison yelled. His voice echoed off the rock walls, reflected and redoubled, and he covered his ears with both hands, moaning as he dropped to his knees.

"What's wrong with him?" Chak had his phaser out and was aiming it at the entrance. The dinos were too big to get in, but he figured they would try to tear at it, make it bigger. The weather didn't seem to slow them down.

While Tom pulled out the medkit behind him and started arranging Redman and Harry more comfortably, the big Native American carefully shot up the edges of the cave, watching with satisfaction as they crumpled inward and filled the space.

At the sound of the phaser Ellison moaned loudly, scooting back to the nearest wall and curling in on himself. Sandburg followed, essentially crawling into his lap and wrapping his body around him.

"Is he going to be okay?" Chakotay asked, moving to help Tom. The pilot was dividing his attention between the two injured men, but the First Officer knew he wanted to stay close to his lover.

"He needs to - reset, um, his dials. I'm the baseline." Sandburg's answer was less than enlightening, but Chak was now the resident ship's expert on Sentinel/Guide pairs and took it at face value.

"How long will that take?"

Raising his face from Ellison's chest, the smaller man blinked at him blearily, and Chak felt guilty for pushing him when his resources were so obviously being used elsewhere.

"I dunno...I'm still kinda new at this, man."

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry." pausing to pat the xenothropologist on the shoulder, Chak went to Tom and sat on the rock beside Redman.

"How are they?"

"I think I've got them stabilized." As soon as Chak ran his tricorder over Redman, Tom moved to pillow Harry's head in his lap. He leaned over his lover's still face and kissed his forehead tenderly.

"We still need sickbay, I can't synthesize an antidote to this stuff."

Tapping his com badge, Chak heard again the electronic chitter that meant there was no connection.

"I can't call the ship."

"We can sit tight for a few hours. The storm should pass." Tom said.

"Can we get it any warmer in here?" Sandburg's voice came from the vicinity of Ellison's neck.

Looking over at the shivering man, Chak realized that he was pretty cold himself. The rain and the clammy mud had chilled them all clear through, but the Guide's hair had become loose and was now coated with it as well, which must contribute to his chill.

"I'll take care of it." He said. Using his phaser again, he set it on low and heated the rocks midway up the wall, where they could radiate the heat back but not burn anyone.

"That's better." Sandburg mumbled. "Thank you, sir."

With no other comment he snuggled closer to his charge and closed his eyes.

For some long period there was no sound other than that of people breathing.

Chak almost flinched when Tom picked up the medical tricorder and ran it over Harry's body.

"I think he's recovering." He passed the tool to the First Officer and Chak repeated the action on the ensign.

"Yes, there is improvement.

Looking over at Sandburg and Ellison, he saw that they hadn't moved at all. It was very quiet n the cave, no way to tell if the storm had subsided.

After an hour had passed, or moments more than, Harry stirred and opened his eyes, clutching at Tom in sudden fear, his brown eyes wide and terrified.

"TOM!"

"I'm here, I've got you." Cradling him close, Paris hunched over his lifemate and stroked the heavy hair from his face. Trying to give them some privacy, Chakotay turned his attention to Redman, but was too close to the pair to filter out what they were saying. And Harry wasn't being quiet.

"Tom, what about - what about - is the baby okay?"

"Baby?!" Startled into movement, Chak barely remembered to catch the ensign's head before it hit the rock. Poor Redman was having a very bad away mission.

His shout bounced off the walls of the rock chamber, making Ellison flinch, and Sandburg twisted around far enough to give him a dirty look.

But it softened when he looked at his friends.

"Cool." The mumbled word slipped past his lips as his eyes slid shut again.

Looking even paler, Tom tried to comfort his lover while the first officer glared, obviously restraining the urge to demand an answer.

"Shh, Har, I can't tell...the tricorder isn't programmed right. We'll be back on the ship soon and doc will check up on it."

"Lieutenant Paris." Chakotay hissed.

"Yes, sir?" Biting the words out, the pilot made it clear that he didn't appreciate Chakotay's tone. "This is a private matter, sir."

"Not if it affects this mission."

Trying to be gentle, the first officer laid Redman's head down, shifting to get his jacket off and use it as a pillow for the man.

Then he squirmed over the rocks to lean over the two men.

Hesitantly he reached to touch Harry, but Tom practically snarled at him.

"I'm not going to hurt him, Tom." It was clear he was trying to be kind. "Want to tell me about it?"

Harry opened his eyes, which had been sliding closed, and reached a hand up that Tom grasped and held tightly.

"We started trying about six months ago. The doctor said it would be easy, but it wasn't."

"That week Harry was confined to quarters." Chak nodded thoughtfully. "The Captain said it was a personal matter - she knows?"

"I'm sure she wanted to tell you, Commander." Tom said shortly. "But we wanted to keep it to ourselves."

He nodded, then glanced at the Sentinel and Guide pair sitting so still on the other side of the cave.

"Captain Janeway cleared you for this mission?"

"And the doc. It was supposed to be a routine survey, and there haven't been any problems."

"How far along are you?" Shifting again, displaying restlessness, from the conversation or the confinement, the big man couldn't seem to settle.

The new voice spoke up quietly and Tom swivelled his head to stair at Sandburg, who hadn't moved at all.

"Six weeks."

"You knew?"

"Couldn't help it." The empath smiled slightly, a small sweet smile. "The two of you were broadcasting like WKRP in Cincinnati."

"What?" Chakotay sputtered at the archaic reference.

A graceful hand freed itself from Ellison's body and waved briefly in the air.

"Anachronism. Ignore me. I was waiting for you guys to say something before I did." Now he was looking at them, looking happy. "I'm really happy for you."

He subsided with a sigh and Ellison shifted beneath him, one large hand coming around the slender body and gripping the back of Sandburg's neck tightly, making the smaller man wince and cuddle impossibly closer.

"Is he hurting you?" Chakotay demanded as quietly as he could. Although he was the most knowledgeable person on Voyager where Sentinel-Guide relationships were concerned, this one was unique and no one could predict what was going to happen. After eight months together the two still hadn't settled into the easy partnership and deep commitment shared by other pairs he'd met.

The was a small shake of the grimy head, but no sound, and the hand on the back of his neck didn't relax. When Chakotay moved closer Paris put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sir - don't. It just makes it worse. They'll work it out. Ellison would never really hurt him."

"How long has this been going on?" Angry, Chakotay shook Tom's hand off and rose to his knees. The top of his head brushed the ceiling where it dipped low.

"Since the beginning." Tom retorted, trying to keep his voice low. "They never stopped fighting, just stopped doing it in public. And when Ellison is upset Blair can't screen anything out. So if you get mad at him it's going to hit him hard and he won't be able to stop feeling it."

"They were supposed to be better. They bonded. That's supposed to fix things."

Emotionally reeling from the double truths he'd learned in the past few minutes, Chakotay almost jumped when his combadge chirped and Tuvok's voice shrilled forth.

"Voyager to Commander Chakotay. Voyager to -"

"Here." Chak snapped, slapping it with his hand, hard enough to sting.

"We've locked on to your position, Commander. Prepare to beam aboard."

"Have the doctor waiting. We've got two cases of nuerotoxin poisoning and a Sentinel crisis."

There was a pause and some mild static caused by the atmospheric interference, then the doctor's voice.

"Who are the cases of poisoning?" He demanded in his usual unfriendly manner.

"Ensigns Redman and Kim."

There was a burst of static that probably covered unpleasant words, and then Tuvok's calm voice again.

"We're beaming you directly to sickbay, Commander. Tuvok out."

Tom released Harry with a soft kiss to his forehead and moved away, and Chak made sure he wasn't touching Redman. Glancing over at Ellison and Sandburg, he thought they should be separated, but then decided it was too late to say anything, and the familiar sting of the transporter took him.

"Mr.Ellison, I need you to release Ensign Sandburg."

Sitting on the floor of sickbay, the earlier flurry of excitement faded, the Sentinel and Guide pair were still tightly twined together. On the biobed nearest them Harry rested peacefully, his fears assuaged, Tom sent to quarters to rest.

Now that the injured were out of danger, the never-tiring doctor had turned his attention to the the two patients in his care.

"I'm trying." The large man snarled at him. "He won't let me go."

Even as he spoke Sandburg shivered and clutched tighter, his knuckles white with strain, face drawn with fatigue.

"What are you feeding him, Ellison?" The doctor asked. He didn't sleep, but he could get tired. "What have you been thinking about the past several hours?

It was Sandburg that answered without opening his eyes.

"Babies. And making them. And wanting them. And he's hating me again."

"I am not!" Ellison bellowed, actively working to free himself from the leech his Guide was becoming. "Just give me some room to breathe, Sandburg!"

"You were the one hanging onto me, man!" Unpeeling himself from the larger man, the young empath hurtled across the room, his flight cut short by a well-placed biobed that knocked the wind out of him. Bent over, he gasped, and the doctor hurried to him, running a tricorder over him and glaring at the Sentinel, who hadn't moved.

"His nuerosynapses are misfiring, Mr.Ellison." He growled. "I suggest you attempt the meditation devices you have been taught and gain control of your emotions before you do him damage."

Rolling heavily to his feet the man moved with less grace than was his nature, but leaned on the biobed beside his Guide and wrapped an arm around him, pressing his face to the broad chest.

Still struggling to breathe after hitting the biobed with his belly, Sandburg hung onto him with that surprising strength, his tangled hair covering them both with mud and goo.

"Go clean up." The doctor ordered. "Reinforce your connection. I expect you to spend the night in your quarters fixing this. I don't want a middle-of-the-night call because either of you has blown a fuse."

Turning in the arms that now held him, Sandburg snorted.

"I thought anachronistic references were my specialty."

"I've been trying to expand my understanding of human nature bu studying the languages of the past." The doctor said with dignity. "I've found that there is much to be learned from the way 'slang' terms developed as well as the conventional manner of speaking."

"That sounded more like you." Seemingly recovered, the Guide pulled away from the Sentinel. "Mind if we stop in the messhall to eat first?"

Crossing his arms over his chest and stepping back to give them room, the doctor raised one eyebrow.

"Stalling, Ensign Sandburg? I'm cognizant of your ration situation. Doctor's orders for tonight include eating together in your quarters, without anyone else present. Using Tom and Harry as ballast for your own emotional imbalance is clever but scarcely a permanent solution."

Glancing from Blair to the doctor, Ellison frowned.

"Excuse me?" The words were harsh.

"Allow your Guide to explain, Mr.Ellison. You might learn something."

Turning on his heel, the hologram walked away from them and into his office, dismissing them from his attention.

There was silence between them as they walked the corridors toward their quarters. When they reached the intersection where they would turn, if they were going to Tom and Harry's, Sandburg Automatically headed that way before pulling himself back. Then he stopped, and looked down that hall, then back at Ellison, as if undecided.

"So there is something to this." Feet apart, lips thinned with anger, Ellison stepped back when Blair reached for him.

"I'm doing the best I can." Sounding both angry and defeated, the empath raised both hands and rubbed at his temples. "Man, don't so that. It's like having a swarm of wasps stinging inside my head."

"I'm not doing anything." The angry denial was snapped. "You're the one who stealing a psychic aphrodisiac from the people he calls his friends!"

Blair's eyes closed, the pain written clearly on his face.

"Let's just go to quarters." He said, the defeat taking over. "I'm not going to explain, you'll never understand."

"Don't want to, either." As they began walking again, not touching, Ellison's glare kept the crewmembers they passed from greeting Sandburg with more than a nod. Normally there would have been conversation, jokes, invitations and comradery.

But more and more since the bonding, Sandburg's many friendly acquaintances had backed off, away from him and his brooding, perpetually angry Sentinel.

There was a message waiting for them when they got to their quarters, the new ones they'd been assigned after their bonding. Because of the crew shortage space wasn't at a premium aboard Voyager, but the move had been prompted by concerns that Ellison wouldn't do what he had to to maintain the connection with his Guide if they had the opportunity to sleep in separate bedrooms.

Clicking the message switch, Ellison listened sullenly to the captain's recorded voice while Sandburg went to the replicator and played with it silently.

"Gentlemen, I just spoke to the doctor and the two of you are assigned to quarters for the next forty-eight hours, barring emergencies. Do what you have to to take of this, or we will have to sit down and discuss other options." Her firm command voice softened and she spoke more familiarly next. "I know that you're both trying, and that this isn't what either of you planned for. Having a Sentinel/Guide Pair is a great advantage for this ship, you have to try to keep it together."

It clicked itself off and Ellison, shoulders slumped, walked over to the replicator and looked over Sandburg's shoulder.

The smaller man didn't move, even when the older began stroking his hair gently. It was a common peace offering, the tender caress soothing them both.

"What are you doing?" Ellison offered.

"Looking at stuff. I need to pick a conception gift for Harry."

"A conception gift?" Ellison snickered. "Don't people usually give gifts at a shower or after the baby is born?"

Pulling away, Sandburg padded to the sofa and sat with his back wedged into the corner.

"Don't make fun of me, man, just because our traditions are different. That's one of the problems with the way pregnancy is dealt with, the carrier should be gifted before the baby, to help them get through the months to come. A conception gift is a gift only for them, not for their mates or the baby. Just for them."

Turning off the replicator, Ellison took the old-fashioned armchair Sandburg had designed and requested. He'd given up the two regular chairs and a bunch of rations for it.

"That's kinda nice actually. Can it be from both of us?"

"It's a personal gift, Ellison. From one person to a person they love. I don't think it's something you should give him."

"I'm not a good enough friend, is that it?" Standing again, the older man threw up his hands and snorted. "I can't win with you. I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to bed."

Going to the bedroom door he stopped and stared at his Guide, who hadn't moved, but flinched when Ellison's eyes settled on him.

"Will you be coming to bed tonight?" The words were bitten off shortly, but it was impossible to tell if that was because the Sentinel was afraid of being rejected by his Guide or angry about the necessity of asking.

"I have to. It's the only thing that will make my head stop hurting." Not looking at him, Sandburg felt the wave of relief that washed through the bond. That made him feel better.

Opening his mouth, Ellison seemed ready to say something else, but then closed it again and went to use more than his fair share of the water.

The lights dimmed Automatically several hours later. Ellison, a man of habit, had them set to do so. Usually, if Sandburg was working on something he didn't even notice, the soft glow of the screen enough to see by.

But sitting alone on the sofa in the dark wasn't attractive, so he got up and went into the shower. Aware that Ellison was sleeping, but only lightly, he sent calming thoughts and was relieved when the sleep became deeper and the man actually rested.

Care and Keeping of a Sentinel wasn't anything he had ever studied, and thanks to the almost paranoid privacy fixation the race practiced there wasn't much data to study. It really was almost a Vulcan thing, as pervasive and insidious as the path of logic was for that people.

He felt the dream start as he got out of the short shower and stood, dripping as the hot air vents dried his skin.

In their short months together their sex life had been very active. They had sex nightly, and often in the mornings as well, if there was time before going on duty. Ellison would never allow himself to be late because of it.

The activity at first flattered and then worried Sandburg, as he remembered the basic Sentinel drives were to find a Guide and to produce a child.

Knowing there had been cases of Sentinels bonded with genetically or physiologically non-compatible Guides that had literally fucked those partners to death - granted, not in recent history - the escalating nature of their sex life worried him.

One thing he had quickly been told was that he'd be kicked out of the bed if he got into it with wet hair. There was something about it that drove Ellison nuts, probably the inherent laziness of the gesture. So Blair had coiled his braided hair on top if his head while he showered and covered it with a cap designed for that purpose. It looked ridiculous, but he wanted to go to bed and it took at least an hour to fully dry the mass, even with sonics.

His mother would have a conniption if she saw how he was subbing himself to this man.

But she wasn't here to see it and this was the path he'd been set on, he might as well walk it as best he could.

Ellison began waking as soon as he walked back into the bedroom, turning beneath the covers and reaching for him with gratifying urgency. Since that second time together he hadn't rejected Blair or even pushed him away afterwards. For his part the Guide was thankful that the bond seemed to require that the Sentinel keep him very close after sex, otherwise he was sure the homophobic man would routinely shove him out of the bed.

As it was Ellison's emotions after sex were too ambiguous and distorted for Sandburg to experience them comfortably. Without the physical closeness to ground him he didn't know if he'd be able to tolerate it.

Sliding into the sleepy embrace, he felt the instant Ellison's body woke up. Wrapped close in big arms, held tenderly, the closeness was a bittersweet reminder of their first few weeks together.

After the emotional roller coaster of their courtship - if that was what he should call it - the honeymoon had been blissful. Ellison - Jim - had been thoughtful and attentive and loving. The stereotypical new husband, of sorts.

Unfortunately for them both, the old rules and social training had begun to reassert itself far too quickly. At first Ellison displayed only a mild uneasiness, but it soon escalated to total discomfort with anything that made him think about their new state and he had begun to distance himself from his Guide progressively more. Unaware that this was causing Blair actual pain, and unable to stop once he realized it.

"Sandburg?"

Blinking his eyes open and his thoughts away, the empath looked up into his lover's blue eyes. It was dark but the connection between them was enough to allow him to 'see' Ellison as he stared back down.

"I'm here."

"You were worrying. I could feel it." It was an accusation, as if he had no right to make Jim suffer with him.

"I'm sorry. It's been a hard day and I can't seem to get things into perspective."

That's what he needed. Desperately needed. Some distance, some perspective on the situation.

Lying on his back, with Ellison straddling him, the man's knees pressing into his ribs, his hands unfastening the coil of his braid, perspective didn't seem to be something he was going to get tonight.

"I need you." The Sentinel said softly, almost apologetically, as if he knew what he asked. But Blair knew from his mind that he didn't, knew from what he was feeling that he was sorry only because he thought Blair needed rest more than sex, and he was rationalizing it to himself by believing that the sex would help Blair sleep.

He was right, but that wasn't the point.

His continuing refusal to go further, to open his end of the bond as fully as Blair had, made the empath feel as if he was carrying a double burden, two sets of emotional baggage.

There was a name for this discrepancy suffered by empaths, but right now he couldn't think of it.

Ellison's lust and longing flooded him and he responded instinctually, opening his mouth to be kissed, his arms to hold and his body to be taken.

In Jim's favorite position, on his stomach, arms stretched out to the sides, Jim's arms covering them, Jim's hands grasping his.

The older man covered him, filled him, and smothered him.

As each thrust echoed through his body and back to Jim, to be returned to him empathically, doubled and re-doubled, the power of it just blew him away.

By the time he was coming there was nothing left of him but a driving need for completion, he was only a need that writhed and begged and shuddered beneath the Sentinel.

After he came he could only lay there and rejoice in the lack of tension.

For a few moments they were at rest, Ellison's emotions pleasant to bask in, and he did just that, wallowing in them like a pig in a mudpool.

As always the bliss began fading, slowly replaced by distaste and anxiety and contempt.

He could feel Ellison making a clumsy effort to control it, and he tried to help in his own way.

His mind ranged forth and searched for others it recognized that would welcome it, but a rough shake snapped his attention back to the man that held him.

"Don't do that. You're here with me, dammit. Not with Harry or Tom or anyone else."

"I'm just trying to make it easier on you." With a wriggle he tried to loosen the tight embrace but failed.

"There's another way to make it easier." Ellison said, holding him as close as he could, pressing Blair's face to his chest, kissing the top of his head, the long hair spread over both of them in tangled clumps.

"How? You tell me and I'll do it, man. I need to make you happy. If you feel better I'll feel better."

"You could become a woman." Ellison said softly, hopefully. "I talked to the doctor the other day, he said it's not that big a deal. Some surgery, some hormone implants...you've already got the hair..."

"I could WHAT?!"

His shriek blasted Sentinel ears that had been turned high to listen to his whisper, and in the pain of it Ellison let him go and Blair scrambled out of and away from the bed. His shock blessedly blocked the connection momentarily and he could freely vent his anger at the suggestion.

Standing beside the bed, he shouted at Ellison, heedless of any pain he might cause.

"You want me to WHAT?! With a roar of anger, the anger his mother had worked so hard to teach him to suppress, he grabbed his limp dick with one hand and tugged on it, the gesture vulgar. "You want me to cut my dick off because you can't deal with it? You still think that because I let you take me I want to be woman?!"

Leaning over the bed, he bellowed into the ears of his curled-up, head-clutching Sentinel.

"I'm a man, Ellison, and I have never wanted to be anything else. I'll die before I let you take that away from me!"

Turning on his heel, he fled the room, wanting to get as far away from Ellison as he could before the connection, still numbed by his powerful emotions, kicked back in. He thought to grab a robe, but the fact that they were currently assigned to quarters and forbidden to leave escaped him as he abandoned Ellison for the night and practically ran the passages to Tom and Harry's, earning worried and concerned looks from people he passed but did not see.

Having just made it to bed, only seconds after she'd ordered the lights off, covers pulled to her chin in the mildly chill room, Captain Kathryn Janeway was not pleased to hear the low, insistent 'boop, boop' of the com set into her bedside table.

Half sitting, pushing her hair out of her eyes, she smacked the button with more force than necessary, connecting with sound but not Audio.

"Go ahead." Her command voice seemed to come from inside her, the place she stored her strength. The strength she needed to get through days and nights and months like these.

The doctor's voice, as disembodied as his form, was calm and slightly arrogant. Anyone else would have apologized for waking her so late, especially as he knew she had only returned to her quarters an hour ago, she'd been in a meeting with him going over crew physicals and discussing the anticipated required performance modifications (RPMs in Star Fleet lingo) for Harry Kim.

"I have bad news, Captain. Several crew members have called in the last ten minutes. They are concerned because they witnessed Ensign Sandburg running through the ship, scarcely dressed and looking, as Lt.Silos put it, 'Crazed and out of it'.

"I'm getting up." With a stifled sigh, she climbed from her bed and reached for a uniform, then changed her mind and chose a loose-fitting casual pantsuit. It was after hours and she was tired. Perhaps Kathryn the woman would have more luck getting through to the troubled pair than the captain had lately.

"Have you checked on Ellison or located Sandburg?"

"Sandburg has taken refuge in the Paris-Kim quarters."

"No surprise there." Running a brush through her hair, she flipped the ends under expertly. This new short cut was so much more convenient when woken in the middle of the night. "Send Neelix to check on Ellison and assess his condition. I'll speak to Sandburg."

"Aye aye." The response was not sarcastic, as she had once thought, but instead an illustration of the sense of humor the doctor was cultivating.

Ten minutes later found her at Tom and Harry's door, impatiently tapping the buzzer. It slid open before she'd lifted her finger and she knew she'd been expected.

"Captain." Tom said. The pale blue pajamas he wore were rumpled and his face still bore pillow creases. Blond hair stood up in unruly spikes and his eyes seemed as tired as his movements as he backed away and silently invited her in. "I was expecting Commander Chakotay."

"It's my night for emergency Command duty." Stopping in the living room, she put her hands on her hips and glanced around.

"Where is he? The bedroom?"

"He woke Harry up. He's been feeling so sick I'd only just managed to get him to sleep. I think that made Blair feel worse, he's locked himself in the bathroom."

"Oh, please." She sighed. "That's a bit melodramatic." Moving past him, she stuck her head into the bedroom, which was dimly lit. Tom followed and watched as she spoke to the pregnant man.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr.Kim, but we've misplaced a xenothropologist."

That pale color did nothing for the Asian man's face, making him look sallow and sickly. With one arm wrapped around his stomach, half-sitting, pillows propped behind his back, he waved in the direction of the bathroom facilities.

Going to the door, Janeway watched Tom come in and sit gingerly on the bed beside his mate, who made a whimpering sound of misery.

"Did he say anything?'

"He apologized about a hundred times." Tom offered. "Ellison must have really done it this time, I've never seen him look so bad. He was completely white, Captain, like the blood had just drained out of him."

"Was he hurt?"

Tom shook his head and Harry winced at the motion. Looking them over, she fixed a commanding gaze on Kim.

"Take the medicine the doctor gave you."

"But it makes me so groggy."

"That's an order, Mr.Kim." Before he had a chance to protest again Tom was up, opening a small box on the nightable and preparing a hypospray.

"I've been trying to get him to do that all night. It's stupid to suffer when you don't have to."

He had the hypo loaded and pressed to Harry's arm in less time than it took Janeway to reach the bathroom door.

"But, Tom, when I take that I can't get up in the morning..." The protest died as the hypo hissed and Harry relaxed almost immediately.

"We'll be sending you an adapted schedule in the morning, Mr.Kim." She said matter-of-factly. "Your hours are being cut back and you won't be expected at your station until noon. We'll also be taking you off the bridge rotation when the doctor recommends it."

"Captain!" Harry's objection was half-hearted. Already the young man was sliding down in the bed, exhaustion taking over.

Janeway and Tom exchanged knowing grins as he turned over and fell right to sleep.

Then she knocked firmly on the bathroom door.

"Mr.Sandburg? I'm coming in."

Trying the door, she expected to find it locked, but it slid open smoothly and she stepped into the room.

And gasped aloud, shocked.

And she was startled to be shocked because she had thought there wasn't anything left that could shock her.

But the sight of Ensign Sandburg standing in front of the tall mirror, stark naked, chopping his treasured hair off in ragged clumps while tears ran down his face - that was simply shocking.

He'd had time to get most of it on the sides, but the long weight of it in the back still hung free, untouched.

"Blair!" Blurting out his name, she lunged and grabbed his arm before he could do any more damage.

Not resisting her, he stood still, and met her eyes in the mirror.

"What will your mother think?" Janeway asked softly, remembering several reminiscent conversations they'd had after she determined she needed to understand this young man.

"Naomi hates what I've become."

"She's doesn't know, Ensign." Gently pulling on his arm, she removed the old-fashioned scissors, wondering when he'd replicated them and why Tom hadn't noticed, and set them on the slick countertop, which was uncluttered and tidy, as per Star Fleet regulations.

"Of course she knows. It doesn't matter how many light years there are between us, my mother can feel me. She's felt all the shit I've gone through since I met that bastard Ellison."

Ignoring the cursing, which was distinctly non-regulation when speaking to your Captain, Janeway turned him around and bent to retrieve the crumpled robe tossed into a corner beside the sonic shower. Draping the blue terry material, the Star Fleet insignia on the pocket, she saw that it was far too big for Sandburg and realized that he must have grabbed Ellison's robe for his flight from their quarters.

She put it over his shoulders anyhow. The tears had dried on his still-pale face, but his hands didn't shake when he pulled away from her and belted it closed.

"I'm sorry you got woke up." He mumbled, blushing faintly. "It's been a highly weird night."

Mentally translating the anachronistic phrase, Janeway smiled at its aptness and led him out of the bathroom. The bedroom was very dark now, only the low light from the living area illuminating it. Making their way across Janeway stepped on two articles of clothing she hadn't noticed before and reevaluated her opinion of Paris-Kim housekeeping.

Tom was at the com, the doctor's grim visage staring out of it, both of them apparently waiting for her.

"Ellison is okay." The pilot spoke quietly, more to Janeway than Sandburg, who would, of course, already know that. "No permanent damage to his ears."

"Damage?" Joining Tom, she looked at Blair, who was leaning back against the nearest wall, eyes closed, hands fisted.

"I yelled at him." The empath said apologetically, not opening his eyes. "He said something...suggested something... asked for something I couldn't even comprehend."

"You'll need to tell me." She spoke firmly, it was an order.

"Respectfully, no, ma'am." He answered, blinking his eyes open just long enough to meet hers and then snapping them shut again. "You can throw me in the brig for refusing an order, but this is not something I'm going to talk to you about."

Looking at the screen, Janeway eyed the doctor, crossing her arms over her chest.

Meeting the gaze with holographic fearlessness, he shook his head slightly.

"I'm sorry, Captain, doctor-patient privilege must be maintained."

"Then I'll have to talk to Ellison." Turning her back on the screen, she beckoned to Blair. "Sandburg, you're with me."

Without protesting he pushed off the wall and followed her toward the door. Tom spoke quietly behind them.

"Hang in there, Sandburg."

The phrase sounded familiar but she didn't recognize it, then Janeway saw the fleeting smile that graced the empath's lips and realized it must have been one of his.

He nodded jerkily, and Janeway smiled at Tom, wanting to set him at ease.

"I won't be too hard on him, Lt. You have your own partner to take care, and you do have to be on duty on time in the morning."

"Yes, sir." Throwing a quick salute - which was rather amusing in rumpled pajamas - he held it as the door slip shut behind them.

"I think this is a new record, Mr.Sandburg." The Doctor greeted them with trademark sarcasm. "Perhaps even two."

"What are you babbling about, man?" The ensign gave him an exhausted glare but didn't allow his eyes to travel farther than the holographic face, certainly not as far as the large still form of the sedated Sentinel on the biobed.

Still in the robe, with Janeway as an escort, he'd felt on display and humiliated during the trip to sickbay. Being slapped with the Doctor's brand of humor was one straw too many.

"Besides being the first Guide to deliberately use his Sentinel's senses against him for harm in nearly three hundred years, you've also just become my most popular customer. The two of you together now have the most visits to sickbay recorded during this voyage."

"This wasn't my idea." Still refusing to look at Ellison, Sandburg turned back to Janeway. "I'd like to go back to my quarters now."

"You're staying here until we get this worked out, Ensign." She said tartly.

"Why? So we can all dance this tune again? There's no point, captain, it's never going to work."

Slumped in on himself, looking smaller than usual, the ragged hair practically screaming his misery, the empath shuddered away from her when she reached to comfort him.

"It has to." The captain said softly, motioning the doctor away from them.

"This is the only thing we can. For both of you. Deal with each problem as it arises. That's the way relationships work."

"I'm not in a relationship, Captain." He snarled, the sound twisting his face into something ugly. "I'm a slave to this thrice-damned bond, but there's no relationship going on here." His head snapped up and he gave her a hard, flat stare. It was so totally unlike him that she actually took a step backwards. "Like you would know what a relationship is. Hanging onto the fading vestiges of an adolescent love and letting Commander Chakotay swing in the wind when all he wants is to give you his heart right out of his chest!" His voice rose and his hands came up to motion angrily. "You ever wonder why I can't be near him? Why I can barely stand to be in the same room with him? It's you, Captain. You make him hurt so bad I can't get far enough away from it! DON'T you tell me about relationships!"

Spinning around he almost lost his balance and grabbed at the nearest console to right himself.

If Janeway had been shocked before, now she was stunned into silence. Months ago she had joked about the dangers of an unrestrained empath 'running around the ship telling everyone how they really felt'.

Turns out it wasn't funny at all.

"You have no right to tell me that. That was Chako-t-tay's secret to keep or tell!" Stumbling over the familiar name, she allowed indignant rage to mellow the shock.

"There's the rub." He was panting a little, she didn't know why, his breath was catching with effort. "I can tell you, because you know. You know and you do nothing to change it. There are no secrets there, Captain. Just pain and fear."

The words staggered her further. "I don't -" She couldn't even finish the sentence.

Because she did. Or at least she suspected.

"Be honest with yourself, Kathryn." The young ensign took the liberty of her name. It was as if all rank was gone between them, just for this moment. "Hiding behind your past has only hurt you both, and it will keep doing so."

With a lurch Sandburg pushed himself off the console and stumbled toward the door. Ungainly, struggling to remain upright, he fought for every step, but they fight became easier and gradually he walked.

"I'm going back to my quarters. I'll be there when Ellison returns. Please..." PAUSING, he looked over his shoulder, awareness in his vivid eyes. "Please, captain. Just give me some time to myself. I can't hear myself think."

Reluctantly, no more ready to face him than she was to think herself, she nodded.

Relief was evident behind the tired pain of those eyes, and then Ensign Sandburg left sickbay.

After a moment Janeway turned to the doctor.

"Is Ellison going to recover?"

"In a few hours. Sedatives are always unpredictable on Sentinel physiology."

"And Sandburg?" At his grimace she held up a hand. "I'm asking for a medical opnion, doctor. His behavior was extreme, do you have a medical reason for it?"

He gestured her toward his small office.

Sitting, she watched him close the door and then take a moment to compose himself. Although she knew this was an affectation on his part, it did serve a functional purpose, allowing them both a moment to reflect, whether he needed it or not.

"Well." He paused and she twitched impatiently. "The ongoing conflict between Ensign Sandburg and Lt.Ellison - between Guide and Sentinel - has, in all probability, eroded Mr.Sandburg's ability to shield himself. When an empath of Mr.Sandburg's stature is overwhelmed it's not uncommon for one to react to the emotions of those around him as if they were his own, with the anxiety that is suffusing the bond amplifying those emotions.

Wishing he had been programmed to stop for a breath occasionally, Janeway felt the need to draw one before he finished.

"So what he said was true, only enhanced."

She seemed hopeful of his answer but he had to let her down. "I didn't say what he sensed was enhanced, only his reaction to it, which led to that unpleasant scene."

"So what he said was true." She sighed.

"In all likelihood." The doctor agreed, not at all cheerfully.

"I'd wondered what he had against Commander Chakotay." She allowed herself to think aloud. "But it's really me."

He moved, as if he were uncomfortable with the subject.

"Perhaps this is something you should be discussing with Commander Chakotay." He looked at her with kind eyes that belied his arrogant nature. "Did you notice that you've distanced yourself from him by using his full rank just now when you spoke of him?"

"And who's the counselor aboard Voyager, doctor." She smiled reluctantly.

"Commander Chakotay." He said gently.

"Then I should consult with him about this problem that has developed." She stood.

"It is in the middle of ship's night, captain." He reminded her.

"No time like the present." She replied briskly. "Can't put these things off." Striding toward the door, she turned and addressed him as if with an afterthought. "Send Ellison back to his quarters as soon as he's fit."

"Aye-aye." With a raised eyebrow, he watched her leave, determination in every step.

Ensign Sandburg had broken a few rather important rules for telepaths and empaths tonight, not to mention one very important rule for Guides.

But the doctor had no doubt the young man had been provoked and perhaps some good would come of it anyways.

With an exaggerated holographic sigh he turned to the computer and began updating records. Normally he would have turned himself off, but not with a patient in sickbay.

The next several days were spent walking on eggshells.

Talk of Sandburg's mid-night dash spread quickly, and the follow-up story of his trek to sickbay at Janeway's side - half his hair missing, wearing a too-large robe, eyes red and swollen - got the same amount of gossip-space.

Though both Sentinel and Guide reported to duty on time a day later when their house-arrest was completed, they didn't seem to be quite all there.

Sandburg would excuse himself from the bridge to work on various projects and leave as quickly as possible, Janeway's eyes searching him, and then Ellison would start zoning.

Not the big, dangerous zones he'd had before the bonding, just little aggravating ones that kept him from performing at peak efficiency.

More than once Janeway silently thanked StarFleet Gods that they were traveling through an uninhabited area of the quadrant with little to threaten or distract them.

Of course, the lack of distractions just made the gossip grow all the faster. It wasn't long before the crew was also commenting on the amount of time she and Chakotay were spending together.

Over dinner on the second day, safely in her cabin, she brought up the subject.

"When I knocked on your door the other night this wasn't exactly what I was expecting." She smiled at him over a rare glass of wine, an extravagant waste of his replicator rations.

"What did you expect?" His low voice rolled over her like chocolate and she shivered, even her uniform suddenly felt too revealing. "That we would fall into bed together and make mad, passionate love?"

He chuckled and leaned forward, one of his large dark hands covering hers on the table.

"That will come in time, Kathryn. For now, this is enough. More than I thought you would ever give me."

"Because I'm the captain." She nodded. They had talked this out in that impromptu session, which had lasted well into the next day, with breaks for minor things like duty and ship operations.

"And I'm the First Officer. But somehow I don't think the regulations really apply out here. And, after all, " he lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingertips tenderly, "There is precedent."

Janeway laughed out loud, sipping her wine before answering.

"I always wondered why Star Fleet never said anything to them. In all the histories you never read about that part. The omission is so stringent that you begin wondering just because of it."

"Kirk was a hero of the federation." Chak added more seriously. "Even then there was still prejudice. Two men together - that was okay. But a Human male and a Vulcan male?" He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Scandalous."

"I watched that documentary the public broadcasting channel showed, just a few months before this mission." Standing from the table, she moved around it to lean against his back, her hands on his shoulders, wine set aside.

"It showed some of the later holos of them, and they looked very happy. I'd like us to look that way someday, when we're old."

"That's a big commitment." Tilting his head back, he studied her, his hands covering hers. "It's not time for those promises yet."

"When it is, I'll be ready." She sealed the pledge with a warm, chaste kiss.

They pulled apart reluctantly, and the subject was changed to allow the fire between them to subside to embers for a time.

"What are we going to do about Sandburg and Ellison?" Picking up the glass again she carried it to the couch and sat, rolling the stem between her fingers.

His thigh pressed against hers and he smiled at her.

"I think they're doing okay. Sandburg hasn't been forthcoming in his counseling sessions, and Ellison is more taciturn than ever, but from what I've pieced together they're working things through. I've repeatedly encouraged Ellison to apologize for whatever it was he said that upset his Guide so much but he refuses. He said, and I quote, "It would be the best option for everyone and Sandburg is just being stubborn.' End quote."

Laying an arm on the back of the couch, he silently encouraged her closer.

Leaning into the embrace with a sigh, she kept the conversation going.

"I can't even imagine what he wants that would be so repugnant to Sandburg. I thought Leerists were open to anything."

"Everyone has limits." He murmured, eyes drifting shut as he inhaled deeply. Then he gave her a one-armed squeeze and stood. "And I've reached mine. It's been a wonderful evening, Kathryn, I'll see you on the bridge in the morning."

She let him leave, mildly bemused by his continuing chivalry, and then sat in the dimmed room and drank her wine. Shivering occasionally.

Ambling down the hall - he was ambling, he knew it and he didn't care who noticed, Chakotay stopped abruptly when Sandburg jogged past him.

The empath stopped as well, and turned, watching as Chak approached him.

"Ensign?" The single word was question enough. But, for the first time, the younger man didn't shrink from his presence.

"Just working something out, Commander." He said politely. "Nothing for you to be concerned about."

Heavier footsteps thudded toward them, and Ellison's voice growled through the hall.

"Sandburg! When I catch you...!"

Blinking Chak saw the smile he remembered blossom on the empath's face.

"What are you doing?" He asked sternly.

"Just proving a point." Sandburg shrugged. "May I go now? He's getting close and I need to stay ahead of him."

"Fine." Chak snapped. "But we're going to talk about this tomorrow."

"Yes sir!" With a hasty salute, the small man, clad only in some loose, cottony-looking apparel, thick and warm, turned and jogged down the hall, gradually picking up speed.

The braid of his hair bobbed behind him, the weight of it still mostly there, the sides neatly shaved all the way to above his ears, a distinctly odd hairstyle but one Janeway hadn't found the heart to object to.

He flattened himself against the wall seconds before Ellison passed him like a freight train, and stared after the disappearing pair, wondering when the ship had gone so completely nuts.

Then he wondered why he was using one of Sandburg's archaic expressions.

And that was enough wondering for one night.

Tomorrow he would do something about marathon running around decks, but tonight he was going to bed, to sleep and dream sweet dreams of Kathryn Janeway, who was suddenly available as she'd never been before.

Hearing Ellison pounding up behind him, Sandburg increased his stride, keeping his mind on-task, his breathing steady and even. It was harsh, he'd been running for close to an hour now, but he could tell with only a quick check that Ellison was in worse shape. Sure, the guy was buff and tough, lifted weights, did all the Star Fleet security stuff, but running wasn't something he did as a sustained activity.

"Sandburg! This is - stupid! Just come back to our place and we'll work this out another way!"

Mentally snorting, the empath forced himself to ignore the waves of emotion that were pouring through their connection. Ellison was tired, frustrated, angry, and horny. It was the last especially that made him keep going.

If he gave in and went back to their quarters they would have sex. It was inevitable. And he'd promised himself that he wasn't going to put himself in that position again until he'd changed Ellison's image of him.

Despite all the efforts on Chakotay and the Captain's parts, the pleading, persuasive urgings of Tom and Harry and B'Lanna, he had so far refused to speak of what had happened.

Still basically living in the Paris/Kim quarters, he went to his own to sleep, on the couch, by himself.

It had only taken a couple of vehement, bordering-onviolent objections for Ellison to quit trying to get him into bed, or have sex.

Knowing the man was getting closer, Sandburg switched tactics. They were running out of corridors anyhow. With fingers flying he accessed the nearest Jeffries tube and crawled in, closing the panel behind him and crawling rapidly away.

"Sandburg! Get out here!"

The roar of a denied Sentinel was impressive indeed.

Scrambling through the tubes, banging his knees in his haste, Blair felt as if his head was swelling - any minute now it was just going to pop and there would be a big mess o' empath brains splattered on B'LANNA's nice clean walls. She'd never forgive him for that, probably even refuse to speak at his wake.

If they had time for a wake with a psychotic Sentinel running amok onboard.

"SANDBURG!"

The bellow literally rattled the walls and the Guide feared momentarily for the physical being of Voyager herself.

"Sorry, ma'am, it's not my intention that you be injured!"

He muttered and took a sharp turn, hearing the loud clanging and thumping as he was followed, getting closer.

Rolling out of an access hatch, he found himself right where he'd planned to be - only a few feet away from Tom and Harry's.

But Ellison was closer than he'd thought and he had to make a dash for it. Checking over his shoulder as he reached the door, fingers frantically tapping out the entry code, he saw that Ellison was almost within grabbing distance.

"Tom!" he shouted, knowing full well that everyone on this deck was on sleep-cycle. "Harry! Now would be good!"

The door opened, he got a flash of irritated, horny Tom that added to the angry, horny Ellison, and fell into the room, rolling over watching the door slide shut in front of him with gleeful, almost malicious relief.

Standing there naked, staring down at him, Tom frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"This isn't much fun anymore, Sandburg."

Lifting himself from the floor with an effort - he was going to be sore again tomorrow - Blair grinned and used both hands to tug at his bizarre hair.

"Practicing that stern look for the kid, Paris? It needs a little work, I can still see the grin underneath."

As he spoke he monitored Ellison, who was standing outside the door, fuming, aching physically and mentally.

"Tom?"

Padding to the bedroom doorway, Harry was wearing a dark bronze robe that was untied, showing his smooth, dark skin, belly slightly distended, penis erect and projecting beneath it.

"Ooooops." Blair's grin widened. "Mind if I sit in?"

Eyes widening, Tom, half-turned toward his lover.

"Really, Blair?" Harry asked gently, leaning on the wall.

"Not to, um, participate." The empath clarified, suddenly looking away, at the floor, then the wall, then his feet, eyes half-closed.

It didn't take an empath to see the pain he usually hid so well.

Stepping forward, Tom cupped Blair's chin and lifted it so the dark blue eyes had to meet his own light ones.

"Whatever you need, Blair."

"I don't have anything to give back." Blair muttered, voice thick.

Pushing off the wall lazily, Harry held out a hand, and Tom tugged Blair over with a hand on his shoulder, taking Harry's.

"Sit with us." Harry said. "Take what you need. It's free and it won't hurt us."

As they walked toward the bed Blair stumbled and Tom slipped an arm under his shoulders to support him, laying him on the big bed. Harry slid in next to him and Tom beside Harry, putting the pregnant man in the middle.

Sighing and closing his eyes, Blair sighed. He curled his arms close to his chest and cuddled to Harry's back.

"Now..." The oriental man said softly. "Where were we?"

The lights were already low and he was still ready, and it didn't take long to get Tom back up to speed.

Beneath the luxurious waves of pleasure and love that surrounded him, a cloud of positive feelings that he basked in greedily, Blair could feel the anger and need of his Sentinel as he gave up and went down the corridor, trying very hard to project his feelings to his Guide as Blair had once tried to teach him.

He was getting better at it, unfortunately.

Knowing that he would eventfully have to give in and that the problems between them would only escalate, Blair cried silently, inches away from Harry, who was wrapped in a tight embrace, completely loved and happy and unaware of Blair at all.

As it should be, Blair thought, rolling away from them, not wanting to disturb them.

As he had once wanted it to be between he and Ellison.

In Ellison's need he felt an echo, an intimation of his future; to give the Sentinel everything until there was nothing of Blair Sandburg left -

Or be fucked to death in a doomed attempt at procreation.

There had to be another way, but he wasn't up to finding it right now.

Get out of my head, he thought at Ellison, as hard as he could. "give me some peace."

The whispered words were unheard in the bedroom, Harry's moans and Tom's grunts drowning them out.

"Chakotay?" Calling from the bedroom, Captain Janeway was just finishing her hair when she heard the door of her quarters slide open. She had given him the access code only the night before, this would be the first time he had used it.

"In here." His answer was a rumble, mildly amused. Coming out of the bedroom, she saw that he, too, had chosen civilian clothing for this evening, and their smiles met and matched across the room. "It felt odd, to just walk in." He admitted as she came closer, holding out an arm and slipping it around her waist.

"I liked it. Next time I won't even ask who it is." Leaning into the embrace, Kathryn marveled at how comfortable she felt there. She had spent years leaning on her first officer's strength and relying on his stability, but now the physical reality of those emotional qualities was brought home to her. He was strong, and he was stable, and he was hers. "Mmmm."

"You are a complete poser, you know that?" He teased, pulling her closer and wrapping both big arms firmly around her.

"Poser?" Wrinkling her nose she looked up at him. "That's one of Sandburg's phrases, isn't it?"

"I gather it means a faker, someone who wants to be something and pretends to be something but isn't. He said he was one in our session yesterday."

"So what does Ensign Sandburg think he's faking?"

"Being a Guide, of course." He rolled his eyes at her.

"It's not like he was properly chosen or trained for it. I think he's managing."

Chakotay snorted into her hair.

"He's sleeping at Tom and Harry's again. Tuvok had to put Ellison on report this afternoon for insubordination. The doctor said Ellison's testosterone levels are high enough to be dangerous."

"I hadn't heard any of that." Pulling away, she frowned, reaching a glass of wine he had just poured.

"It was going to be in the morning briefing." He said it apologetically. "But I'm here and I didn't want you to think I'm keeping things from you because of some ulterior motive."

"You have an ulterior motive?" She teased gently, sipping her wine and taking a seat on the sofa. Sitting beside her, he left his glass on the table and gathered her close to him.

"I want you all to myself tonight." He said in a husky whisper that made her shiver.

"Then why don't we...." She kissed him once, softly, "Decide how we're going to deal with this tomorrow morning and that will leave the rest of the night for us."

"The whole night?" His arms tightened around her.

"As much of it as you can use." Her body was soft against his.

"We'll meet with Sandburg and then Ellison, with the doctor present, and talk it out with both of them before meeting with them together." The words flowed smoothly from in mouth in a stream.

"Works for me." She chuckled softly. "Now, about the rest of the night..."

"I've been waiting all my life for it." He sighed, bending his head to kiss her. "Waiting all my life for you."

"Ensign Sandburg." Standing from her couch to greet her visitor at the door, Janeway felt Chakotay's presence behind her, his silent support anchoring her, even more so after the night they had shared.

Turning her thoughts to the matter at hand was harder than she'd expected - new love was pretty distracting.

"Yes, Captain?" He stood at attention, waiting patiently. She let him remain that way while she looked him over, seeing the signs of strain. He looked years older than he had that first day she met him, when she had so blithely thrown him into this situation.

"Have a seat, Blair." Calling him by his first name to show that this was an unofficial conversation, she was sad when she saw how much he deflated ad he sat, sinking into the cushions of the large chair, looking thinner and more fragile than she'd expected.

Sitting on the couch facing him, she leaned forward, wondering if she should touch him. Chakotay remained standing behind her, keeping his distance from the empath, who had expressed discomfort in his presence more than once.

"I need to tell you that I'm sorry." These weren't the words she had planned to say, but they came easily, so she went with it. "If I had known how hard this was going to be, for you and for Ellison, I wouldn't have asked you to get involved in the first place."

"You couldn't have known." he sighed, rubbing at his eyes with both hands. The bizarre hairstyle made him look younger. "I could have backed off and tried to help him bond with someone else, but my ego got in the way. I was sure I was the best one for him, no matter what he said."

"You are." The first officer spoke quietly. "I now it's hard, but the two of you are meant to be together."

"Like you?" His eyes traveled over them and Janeway, unexpecting, blushed. Nothing like an empath to make you feel naked.

Warm and strong, a and squeezed her shoulder and she got past her sudden embarrassment.

"Not exactly, but you understand. We have to get the two of you past this latest crisis. I know you've refused to speak to Commander Chakotay about what initiated it. I was hoping you would be able to tell me."

While she watched closely and Chakotay surreptitiously caressed her shoulder with a fingertip, he stared down into his lap, hands twitching restlessly on his knees as he paled slightly.

"Perhaps it would be easier of he wasn't here?" She offered, knowing her second-in-command wouldn't like that but would do what she thought best.

"If -" He swallowed and looked up, meeting Chakotay's eyes steadily. "If you don't mind, sir."

"Of course not." Stepping away from the couch, he smiled, trying to set the younger man at ease.

"Thank you." The voice was firmer now, gaining strength as the first officer left the quarters.

They had planned this ahead of time and he had a job to do now - to fetch Ellison so they could force the two into a conversation.

The doctor had warned that a solution needed to be reached soon, the Sentinel was reaching critical hormonal levels.

In the Captain's cabin, Janeway leaned forward further and laid a hand on the bouncing knee of the man she faced.

"Nothing you say will be repeated, Blair. Clearly this is painful for you - what did Ellison say?"

Still staring at his lap, his mumble was too soft for her to understand.

"Want to try that again?" her quiet chuckle drew a raspy one from him and he looked at her now, blue eyes bright, wide, and blue.

"He wanted me to become a woman."

"I know we can do that -" She cut herself off. "That's a bad thing, right?"

His nod was silent.

And now he wasn't pale, but blushing.

"So what do you think we should do about this?"

"I've been trying to wear him out and get him to accept the idea that I'm a guy." He shrugged. "I know I'll have to go back to him soon, he's getting rather desperate."

"We had noticed. But we need to prevent any more instances like this. Do you have any ideas?"

"Just one." He didn't sound at all happy about it. "But I'm not saying anything until he gets here."

Opening her mouth, Janeway closed it just as quickly. Of course he knew, he was an empath and had a telempathic connection with his mate. Anything Ellison was involved in his Guide would know about.

"Then we'll wait for him." She said, patting his knee.

The tears in his eyes didn't surprise her, but they did make her wish, once again, that there had been another way to save the Sentinel.

"Is that a direct order, sir?"

Standing in his doorway, facing the second-in-command of the ship, Ellison sounded neither obedient nor particularly worried about the lack. He did sound obstinate and belligerent, qualities Chakotay had recently become acquainted with that had been completely absent in their pre-bonded Sentinel.

He didn't see it as an improvement.

"Yes. Accompany me to the captain's quarters or return to the brig." The native American officer said with a sigh. "I might add that by returning to the brig, you will be essentially condemning Ensign Sandburg to incarceration as well."

"Maybe I should. That's about the only way I'm going to get him alone with me." Crossing his arms over his chest he glowered at Chakotay, who sighed again and studied him. Frankly, Ellison looked as bad or worse than Sandburg. Though he hadn't lost weight, and his musculature was, if anything, more impressive, there was a weariness to his stance and a paleness to his face that the First officer didn't like. He had concentrated almost exclusively on Sandburg these past weeks and now considered that he might have made a mistake, overlooking Ellison's condition when the man put him off again and again. He should have been more insistent.

These thoughts allowed him to speak more gently than he had originally intended.

"Ensign Sandburg is waiting for you in the Captain's quarters. He's ready to talk to you, if you are ready to talk to him." He waited a moment but all the security officer did was change the direction of his glower, from Chakotay to the floor. "This can't continue, Ellison." He said, deliberately leaving off the rank. "Let's sit down and talk it out. Whatever you did, I think he's ready to forgive it."

There was hope in the glance that Ellison shot him, but anger as well.

"He didn't tell you?"

"No." A single word with no inflection.

"Fine." Ellison said, stepping into the corridor. He was still in uniform though he'd been off duty. "Whatever."

With a snort Chakotay led off down the hall, expecting the man to follow him, inwardly sighing at his choice of words. Sandburg's choice archaic phrases were everywhere now and it was damned annoying for the people who didn't know what they all meant. Not that this last one was hard to translate.

As a matter of fact, it expressed the who-gives-a-fuck attitude that Ellison was currently exhibiting almost perfectly. Which phrase was just another one of them... Chakotay shook his head. They were breeding....

Inside the Captain's quarters Sandburg jumped up and crossed to the other side of the room, staring at the door, his eyes wide and dark.

"He's here."

Standing herself, feeling somehow as if this was one of those moments not meant to be met while sitting, Janeway watched carefully as the door opened.

The tension in the room increased by a factor of twenty and kept going up as Chakotay entered, followed by a reluctant and angry-looking Ellison.

After the first four steps or so Sandburg began taking one backwards for every one that Ellison took forward, until the empath was standing with his back to the sofa beside Janeway and Ellison was facing him from behind the facing piece of furniture.

"Lt. Ellison." Janeway spoke softly, sensitive to the situation, her diplomatic skills always ready to be deployed. "Thank you for coming." "It was an order, sir." He replied stiffly, his posture rigid. But his eyes were glued to his Guide, who stared back with equal intensity, his expression a mixture of longing and anger with a trace of disgust. Janeway wondered what exactly he was feeling at that moment.

"Once again I feel the need to intervene in your personal life." Janeway continued, "And I know this angers you, Lt, but you need to trust me when I say that it's necessary. The tension in your relationship with your Guide is affecting the morale of the ship, and right now we can't afford any distractions."

"I apologize but I refuse to shoulder the blame alone." Ellison answered without even looking at her, almost as an afterthought. "The situation is the result of Sandburg's actions, not my own."

"My actions are a direct response to an unacceptable action that you demanded of me." The temperature of the room seemed to be rising and Janeway eyed the empath with concern. The scope of his abilities had been well understood before the bonding, but since then she had been receiving reports that they had become both more powerful and occasionally erratic.

None of this had been predicted, but Ellison's bonding was one of the latest in recorded history and humans with Sandburg's mental strengths were almost unknown. Whatever had been predicted had been gross speculation at best.

Tuvok could help them, she believed that, but so far Ellison had refused assistance that, as he put it, 'exposed him to shame' because of the nature of the relationship, and Sandburg, unable to withstand his Sentinel's displeasure, had refused as well.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Chakotay was taking a defensive stance, and she shook her head at him, trying to be discreet, but then realized that the Sentinel-Guide pair wouldn't have noticed if she and her first officer had stripped down and made love on the sofa.

Even the thought startled her, and she shook her head harder, trying to clear it, and Chakotay stepped closer to her, but she took several quick steps away, waving him off. He stopped, looking confused, and Janeway grabbed Sandburg's shoulder, hard.

"You're projecting, empath." She said sharply, needing to get his attention. "Control."

His eyes were wide and dark when he looked at her, and she sucked in a breath, seeing the pain in them. Feeling the pain in them, her own heart growing heavy with despair as she continued to touch him.

"Kathryn." Suddenly Chak was beside her, tugging at her hand with both of his. "Let go. He can't help it, you're too close."

It took an effort on his part, but he got her away from the empath and across the room, where her head started to clear.

"Touch empath." Chak reminded her. "It's stronger if you touch him, remember?"

"And he's projecting." She looked at her lover, thankful that he had removed her from the influence. "Why isn't it affecting you so strongly?"

He looked mildly embarrassed.

"I've been controlling my feelings for you for years. I've had lots of practice."

They exchanged a look, half embarrassed, half delighted, and then turned their attention back to the oblivious pair.

"I don't want a child, right now." Sandburg said fiercely, the statement seemingingly out of left field.

"I'm not asking for one." Ellison snapped back, arms crossing over his chest as his expression turned mulish. "But you knew the deal when you bonded with me. You knew it would be required if you don't want to be fucked to death." He said the words with as much disgust as a man could manage and Sandburg staggered, half-falling to the sofa behind him.

Chak moved forward but Janeway stopped him, whispering.

"They have to work through this on their own."

"He's hurting him." The first officer objected, his innate urge to protect put on overdrive around the empath.

"This is the way it's going to be, Ellison." Sandburg hissed. "I'm going to get pregnant and you're going to back off about the other thing. Otherwise this time I'll make sure we both die."

There was such a wealth of anger in those words that Janeway could only stare. The idea that bonding with Ellison had changed the previously open-hearted, happy, loving young empath into this angry, torn, almost self-destructive individual made the guilt she felt swell to unbearable proportions.

"Okay." Ellison said, his posture sagging, head hanging, as if it weighed him down as surely as it did her.

It was as if his concession, both physical and mental, deflated the tension, because Sandburg collapsed to the sofa, and Ellison got to him in two strides, gathering the smaller man close.

Looking completely drained, Sandburg clung to him like a child when Ellison lifted him up, cradled him close to his chest, his neck bent, face close to Sandburg's, nuzzling him.

No words passed between them that either of the two witnesses could hear.

"Lt?" Janeway said softly.

"Ensign?" Chakotay echoed her.

Two pairs of blue eyes, at a similar stage of arousal, swung toward them.

They stayed focused on the pair of commanding officers for all of five seconds.

Then it was as if the world closed around them and both officers could feel the waves of sexual need that rolled off them.

"A projecting empath can be a dangerous thing." Chakotay said with a goofy half-grin as his body responded to it.

"Janeway to Harry Kim." Thinning her lips to a tight line, the captain tapped her communicator.

"Kim here, Captain." He sounded tired.

She made a mental note to check with the doctor and make sure he wasn't overdoing things.

"Ellison and Sandburg are in my quarters. Please lock onto them and beam them directly to theirs."

They familiar shimmer of the transport beam materialized around the two, but then faded as Kim spoke again.

"Captain, they seem to be touching each other. The buffer is rejecting the transport."

"Override it, Mr.Kim. I don't think I could get them apart with a crowbar." She smiled ruefully, surprised at the words she let escape.

Beside her Chakotay smothered a laugh.

This time the transporter beam took the Sentinel and Guide away, and that left Janeway alone in her quarters with her lover and the lingering aftereffects of the empath's projections.

Well, they knew what to do with that.

It was too much.

To have his Guide in his arms, the warm, hard body pressed to his own....

It didn't matter that that body was the wrong shape, had all the wrong curves and the wrong parts.

It smelled right and tasted right and felt right, and it was his.

"Mine." He heard the word he snarled as he lifted Blair up, pressing his back to the wall of their living room, hands ripping eagerly, carelessly at his Guide's clothing. The smaller man seemed just as eager, wriggling helpfully out of the tattered remains and wrapping his strong legs around Jim's waist, moaning desperately when Jim lifted him higher, bringing their mouths together.

Everything about the Guide seemed to open to him. His mind, his heart, his body, all softened and accepted Ellison in.

With both hands on the wall to either side of the flushed face, his mouth covering Blair's, the weight of his body keeping the smaller man in place, Blair's hand wrapped around his shoulders the way Blair's legs were wrapped around his waist, Ellison realized that he could breathe again. Breathe and think and plan.

"I love you." Pulling away, stilling the frantic thrusting of his hips, he panted out the words, and was rewarded by the opening of Blair's eyes, wide and startled, like a spooked animal's.

"That's just the sex talking." The empath retorted, still unwilling to forgive, his body clasping Jim's more tightly.

Although he had learned to do it early in the bonding, Jim had never before voluntarily opened his mind to his Guide. He was shocked at how easy it was, and how good it felt to do so now.

Feel this, he thought hard. Feel what I feel. See what I see. Know what I know.

He put every ounce of willpower he had into it and then he knew that Blair had felt it.

"I love you." he repeated aloud, picking up the pace again. The words had never passed between them before, but now he'd said them twice in as many minutes. Greedily he catalogued the physical responses of his Guide; the deep moans and gasped breaths, the stench of love-sweet sweat, the scent of flowers that rose from the butchered hair.

Blair's fingers dug into his back and he felt the younger man's cock swell between them, preparing for release, and pressed his stomach harder to it, gave Blair something firm to rub against, slicked by sweat, and then the empath convulsed, shuddering, and for the first time the scent of another man's come did not make him wince, and he did not pull away as soon as he had come himself.

Instead he carried his limp, boneless Guide to the couch and lay them both down upon it, doing his best to keep the physical connection, and treated this most important person in his life the way he would have any other lover. As someone important, valued, cherished. Petting his face and stroking his hair, soothing him with touch and little kisses.

It wasn't until Blair half-sat and stroked fingers down Jim's own face, the empath's thoughts settling into something coherent again, that the Sentinel felt the tears streaming down his own face.

There were nights that weren't meant for sleeping. Despite the remaining problems in their relationship, they were ready to take the next, and, for Jim, most important step.

Not sleeping didn't mean speaking, though, or even lovemaking, though that continued until morning shift, slow and lazy and sweet.

"Is everything ready, Doctor?"

"It will be as soon as people stop pestering me." The holodoc snapped a response with typical irritability, aggravated by the number of people crowding the private treatment room.

Leaning over a computer screen, he remotely manipulated the genetic material the two men had provided. It had to be precisely placed in the empty ovum that had been donated to the pair.

Although the donation had technically been anonymous, he knew who it had come from, since he had been the one that extracted it, and he wondered if the Sentinel and Guide knew how they were being honored, being given one of the Captain's own eggs.

"I'll start the ceremony." Janeway said, eyeing him carefully. Stepping away from Blair's side, the young man lying back on the table, which was draped with a green cloth, wearing only another green cloth, she raised her hands and the low level of chatter stopped.

The room was the larger of the two private rooms, but still crowded.

At the head of the table Ellison stood, wearing a floor-length green robe embroidered with his family crest.

"Everyone, welcome." Janeway said, lowering her hands slowly. "I know none of us have ever witnessed this ceremony before, but I'm positive that it's going to go well, so let's start while the doctor does his last minute stuff.."

"Stuff?" Chakotay teased, getting a smile from her.

"Stuff." B'Lanna folded her arms over her chest and glared at him.

Finishing the maneuver, the doctor began closing up the little cell. He was pleased that the two men had chosen to allow random selection of traits, as had Tom and Harry, who had used one of B'Lanna's eggs. Not only was it more in line with what nature intended, it made things a lot less complicated for him.

"A Sentinel and Guide bond for many reasons." Janeway began the traditional words she had memorized. "For love and family and culture, they bond. "

A silence settled over the room. Opening the door of the elecrtrocellularmanipulator, the doctor pulled out the small hypospray and held it to the light, checking the setting carefully.

"Family is everything. Family is all. Every Sentinel must have family."

As the doctor approached the table, he saw Ellison's hands tighten on Blair's hand, which the bigger man grasped.

"Traditionally, when a Sentinel and Guide decided that the time has come for conception, they invite their family and friends to witness this important event." Jane way veered from tradition to explain what she was sure everyone in the room knew, thinking it should all be said aloud. "Tonight we bear witness to the conception of this child, the first child of this Sentinel and Guide, the tangible result of their bond."

Standing beside the bed, the doctor thought for a moment. Janeway wished he had accepted the ceremonial robe Ensign Sandburg had wanted him to wear. But it was too late now. The doctor nodded at Harry Kim, who stood on the other side of the table, opposite Ellison, taking the role of the Guide's witness.

With hands that shook slightly, Harry folded back the top half of the dark green drape. Beside him, Chakotay, taking the part of the Sentinel's witness - which was often a brother or best friend - folded back the bottom half, neatly.

Sandburg's lower stomach, shaved and quivering, was thus exposed.

"Dim the lights." Tuvok stage-whispered at B'Lanna, who quickly turned. She'd almost forgotten her part.

The room took on a new character in the low light, the specially-treated green of the drapes and robes glowing softly.

With his head tilted back on the table, butchered hair spread around it carelessly, Blair was breathing deeply, evenly. He seemed to be in the room, but beyond it. Wondering if this was a reaction to the drugs he had been taking, or to Ellison's emotions, the doctor briefly considered the paper he could write on this phenomenon. They were the most unusual Sentinel-Guide pair in existence.

"Take hands." Janeway said, reaching her own for Chakotay and Tom. Soon there was a circle of hands around the table, with Ellison, Sandburg, and the doctor inside.

"Repeat after me."

The hypospray was lowered toward Sandburg's concave belly slowly as the doctor got into the spirit of things. This was nothing like Harry's impregnation, which had been only the two men and himself and a rather dry medical procedure.

Sandburg and Kim had undergone the same physical preparation; the installation of an SAU, the support systems needed to run it, and the hormone supplements that would allow them to safely nurture a fetus to term.

Although there were other ways of doing this, they could have chosen to simply let the fetus grow to term here in sickbay, in a stationary aritfical uterus, or SAU; both had stated that they wanted to experience the whole process, and he suspected it was necessary for Ellison and Sandburg.

"Love creates family." Janeway said softly, reverently, and everyone repeated it. The doctor pressed the hypospray close. "Family creates culture."

Opening his eyes, Blair lifted his head and stared at the doctor. He looked frightened. Ellison laid a hand on his cheek and leaned to kiss the top of his head.

"Culture creates strength." As the words were said the doctor pushed the button on the hypospray and Blair flinched, breath hissing between his teeth. The fertilized egg was a rather large cell and could be felt going in, the doctor knew.

"Blessed be the Guide." Janeway finished, with a broad smile, freeing her hands and clapping.

Everyone clapped as they repeated.

"Blessed be the Guide!"

"He's going to start feeling sick rather quickly." The doctor said, making shooing motions. "And there is the second part of the ceremony, one which they have chosen to perform in private..."

Leaning over the table, Harry kissed Blair's cheek and smiled at them both, Tom coming to his side as Chakotay left the room.

"We'll be in your quarters to help out when you get done." He said.

"Thanks." Barely a whisper, Sandburg's voice seemed faded.

"Thank you for your presence." Ellison said, patting Harry on the back. The he did a strange thing - he ran one finger from the Asian man's chin to his navel, and the doctor smiled to see it. A traditional Sentinel blessing for a pregnant woman, given from a Sentinel to another's child. It made Harry blush, so he knew what it meant, too.

"Let's go, Har, they've got things to do." Gently taking his mate by the shoulders, Tom steered Harry out of the room, and the doctor paused a moment, the last one left, watching them.

"Don't be too long, he needs rest."

Ellison nodded.

"I have to do it." He said, one hand stroking Blair's hair. "Or I won't believe it in here." He touched his head and then his chest, above his heart.

"Just be gentle." The doctor chided, and left, shutting the door behind him. He would give them thirty minutes and then reassert his Authority if Ellison tried to draw it out.

Leaning over his Guide, untying his robe, Jim watched the masculine face as it crinkled in concentration.

"Okay?" The robe fell open, and he was naked beneath, his erection eager.

"Yeah." Breathing slowly and deeply, Blair looked at him. "I'm actually kinda glad we did it this way. Not that it's bad to do it the traditional way -" He sucked in a breath and shivered slightly as Jim's hands gently pushed his legs apart, spreading them wide, "-But doing this in front of your entire extended family and all of their friends would have been hard."

"I hadn't thought about it in years." Jim admitted, easing Blair down the table and leaning to kiss his stomach tenderly. There was a small bruise forming where the hypo had entered.

"Because you thought you weren't going to bond." Blair whispered, both hands reaching to caress Jim's head as the big man pressed his cheek to the bare patch of muscled stomach.

"But now I have you." Raising his head, Jim shifted close enough to let his erection touch Blair. "And I will never treat you badly again." He sighed as he pushed for entry.

Gritting his teeth, the smaller man had to consciously relax his tense body. It was a good thing they had prepared for this before the ceremony.

Jim made love to him as sweetly as a man could, stroking slowly, touching him, sending thoughts of love and pleasure through their mental link.

Primed by the ceremony, by the hormonal changes he could smell in his mate, though they were confused by the male smells, it didn't take Jim long to reach climax. Blair couldn't, not this time, it could disrupt the delicate balance that had just been achieved with the insertion of the zygote.

Actually, he wouldn't be able to orgasm until the doctor said it was safe, and that could be months. But there was a relaxed pleasure in his mind, the contentment of a Guide who has pleased the Sentinel, and that would have to be enough until then.

Coming with a low groan, clinging to the legs that had lifted and clamped around him, Jim leaned forward and put as much of his weight on Blair as he dared, and the younger man caressed and held whatever parts of Jim he could reach.

Then there was a knock at the door, and Jim was pulling out, covering them both back up, and letting the doctor back in.

There was one more part of the ceremony to perform, and he was ready for it.

"He was very careful." Blair told the doctor, laying back, as he wasn't allowed to sit or stand for twenty-four hours.

"I'll be the judge of that." Checking him over with brusque gentleness, he finally agreed. "Everything is fine. You can take him to your quarters."

With a smile Jim, robe belted again, began wrapping the draped material around Blair, swathing him in it until only his face could be seen. The empath squirmed and gave him a mock-glare.

"You're enjoying this part." He accused with a tired grin.

"I've never found a way to keep you still before." The Sentinel retorted. When Blair was wrapped to his satisfaction, he lifted him in his arms. "Last step. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be." There was a hint of nervousness, but the empath was trying to hide it from his mate.

"This is an important ritual." Jim said softly as they walked out of the treatment room and through sickbay. The doctor hurried to meet them at the door and Jim spoke to him.

"Do you remember what to say?"

"Of course." He looked affronted. The door opened and he stepped out before them, speaking loudly. "The Guide is blessed, the Guide is Blessed! Bear witness all, the Guide is Blessed!" The words, which could have been silly or mocking, were delivered with the perfect blend of happiness and sincerity.

Blair blushed and turned his face to Jim's chest as they stepped out, and then they were walking down the hallway.

StarFleet had a reputation for attracting open-minded types who loved new experiences, and this was something unique, so practically everyone who could be there was. Sentinel procreation ceremonies were usually very private and the Blessing Walk was taken through a small part of the village or through a religious center. Rulers and members of the ruling Council were required to walk through the territories they represented, and Voyager was, after all, the village Jim and Blair inhabited.

So the passages to their quarters were lined with well-wishers, most of them smiling, many throwing flowers, a traditional offering.

"Look up." Jim whispered to Blair. "They came to honor you, you can look at them."

Shyly, the empath turned his head, and then, slowly, smiled as people smiled at him, many reaching to touch him, to pat or stroke, which was supposed to bring luck, as they passed, Ellison walking slowly, as tradition required.

"Blessed be the Guide." Many whispered, and tears welled in Blair's eyes.

"I didn't know." He told Ellison as they got onto a turbolift and went down the two floors to theirs.

"That so many people care for you? I did. Half of them threatened me when I was being cruel to you."

"It's really...cool." With a sigh Blair snuggled closer.

"Cool?" Jim asked, grinning himself. The turbolift slowed and the doors opened and a rain of flowers showered down as he stepped out.

"Blessed be the Guide!" The Delaney twins, with Neelix and Ensign Wildman and Naomi, all shouted together. Naomi threw another handful of flowers at Blair.

"Mom says you're going to have a baby!"

"Yes, we are." Jim answered, walking past. This hall was even more crowded, and the area around their door was packed with close friends, the witnesses to their ceremony among them. Flowers covered the carpeted hall.

"Blessed be the Guide." Chakotay said, standing in front of them and clasping Jim's shoulders for a moment. Through Blair the older man could feel the first officer's happiness for them and relief.

"Thank you." He said sincerely.

There were no more interruptions, as everyone knew that Blair needed to rest, and the door opened and Tom was there, holding a clean, warm robe, and Jim carried his Guide into their quarters and settled him in to rest, staying close by to care for him as needed.

"Is that everything?" Looking around the conference table, Janeway let her eyes rest on each person in turn. This crew, her crew, was not exactly StarFleet standard.

They had a Talaxian as morale officer, and members of the Maquis as First Officer and Chief Engineer.

The Ops officer was several months pregnant, and he had his feet up in the pilot's lap, a breach of protocol that she had actually encouraged. Of course, the pilot was the second parent of the child he carried...

Then there was the Sentinel.

The bond was relatively new, and his Guide was newly pregnant.

The two forces were combining to make him both distractable and irritable, behaviors she could not condone but could understand.

Currently she suffered from them herself, just a touch.

"I have something to say." The doctor spoke up and she silently smothered a groan.

"Yes?" At her right, her first officer and the reason for her own distractibility spoke on her behalf.

The doctor cleared his throat ostentatiously.

"I think it's time we discussed the changes the ship will have to make to accommodate the children that will be arriving soon. Ensign Kim needs to be relieved from active duty, I suggest that you put him in charge of this project, to keep him busy."

"And off his feet." Tom added with a dirty look for his mate, who just sighed and blushed faintly.

"Captain, I'm fine. It's just a little swelling."

"Any more swelling and you'll be doing permanent damage to those tendons, Ensign." The doctor snapped. "Your body is not built to deal with the stresses of pregnancy and you must take extra precautions."

"Do we have to talk about this here?" Pulling his feet, sans shoes, from Tom's lap, Harry swung them to the floor and stood, hands on hips. "I'm fine."

"I'll have to take the doctor's advice on this one, Harry." Janeway agreed, hearing the laughter in her voice. The young Asian man looked the same as always, if you could ignore the distinct bulge of his abdomen. "As of now, you are on medical leave with a special assignment."

"You could assign Sandburg to assist him." Chakotay said softly.

There a moment of silence.

Then Janeway looked at the doctor.

"Would that be beneficial to him?

"I don't think it would hurt. Unfortunately, the complications he is suffering will probably make him less than helpful, but it might be good for his self-image."

Ellison twitched as they spoke.

Everyone looked at him.

"Do you need to leave, Lt.?" The question was asked gently.

"Yes, sir. He's - he's..." Unable to articulate, the big man was up and out of the room before anything else could be asked.

Everyone looked at Tuvok as the sonic boom of Ellison's escape faded.

"Ensign Sandburg is suffering a particularly severe attack of nausea." The security officer supplied. As one of the few telepaths on board, and one of the two best-trained and most powerful - the other being Sandburg himself - he kept tabs on the young human as the Captain had requested. It helped predict the Sentinel's behavior.

"I need to get to sickbay." The doctor stood abruptly. "He will undoubtedly be returning there shortly."

"Excused." Janeway sighed.

"Is every briefing going to turn into a medical circus?" Chakotay, moving to stand behind her, leaned to whisper in her ear, and she resisted the urge to swat him. Since they admitted the way they felt for each other and acted on, he had allowed his sense of humor slightly more rein and, while it pleased her, he always seemed to choose the very worst moments.

Which was probably a part of his sense of humor. The timing.

Timing is everything, she sighed, and dismissed the briefing, giving B'Lanna an order to run a diagnostic on the aft shield, which had been fluctuating slightly for the last few hours. Not dangerously, but it was something to check.

"One thing about engineering.." She heard the half-Klingon woman say to Tom as they left, the pilot's arm around his mate, "-it's never dull."

"Just like life aboard Voyager." Chakotay laughed, and slid his arms around the captain, hugging her gently.

"Hush." She scolded, turning in his arms. Kissing on duty? What was she thinking?

That she was in love, and it was wonderful.

"I got ya, I got ya..." Hearing the bad grammar coming from his mouth, James Ellison was more surprised at his lack of shock than the words themselves. His Guide had apparently affected his speech patterns more than he'd thought, though he tried to keep the odd phrases and weird contractions and slang out of his speech.

But at this moment, holding the stocky body firmly while it heaved and shuddered helplessly, brushing the ragged long hair back from a sweating, too-thin face, using a damp cloth to wipe pink-tinged drool from gasping lips, he would say anything. Hell, he would do anything, if it made Blair feel better.

There was a sound behind him and his stressed senses tweaked, sending a bolt of pain through his skull, which in turn made Sandburg keen loudly. Then Tom was on his knees beside them, one hand on Jim's shoulder, one on Blair's, opening himself the way Tuvok had taught him, to help them, offering his strength to them, if the empath was capable of taking it.

"The doc said to bring him to sickbay as soon as he's done." Harry's voice whispered from the doorway.

Sandburg writhed and lurched in his arms, desperate to breathe now, a trickle of blood oozing from his mouth. Tom tenderly wiped it away while Ellison fought to keep the smaller man from injuring himself in his struggles against this unseen enemy.

This was the fifth time they had ended up in essentially this position. With him on his knees, Blair across them, cradled as close as Jim could get him, the younger man's head hanging in the disposal unit.

Each time was worst than the last and each time they wound up in sickbay, where Blair was sedated and Ellison went slowly insane until he was brought out again.

The spasms eased. James became aware of Tom's soothing nonsense murmur, and the hand on his shoulder, which was rubbing tiny, encouraging circles of warmth into his flesh, which had grown chilled. In the effort to give everything to his Guide, he had forgotten to care for himself again.

Actually, he thought that was a good sign.

Slumped gasping in the brawny arms, Blair only mumbled and tears leaked down his face.

James wiped them away and kissed his cheeks, feeling the smoothness there. The hormone treatments were suppressing his beard growth, which was nice in a way, but it didn't feel like Sandburg.

"Got him?" Tom's whisper was unnaturally loud in his ears, and he did lean on the blond man as he struggled to his feet with his burden.

The burden weighed less than ever now, and he winced inwardly as he felt that.

"I've got ya." He crooned when Blair whimpered and twisted, the movement making the sickness wake. Flooding their bond with as much love and encouragement and strength as he could, he carried him out of the head, Harry backing out of the way, and then paused, waiting for Tom to open the door.

Standing to one side of them, Harry reached to touch Blair's face and Tom stopped him, grabbing his wrist and pulling it away gently.

"You can't, Har. You know that. Think about our baby - he can't spare the energy." Contact with the second pregnant man drew Sandburg to both the minds housed in Harry's body, like a magnet.

Nodding, Harry wiped his eyes with one hand, the other scratching his stomach restlessly.

"I'll go ahead and clear the corridor." He said, turning away, as if it pained him to look at Blair.

It had become almost commonplace - the sight of Lt. Ellison carrying his suffering Guide through the corridor to sickbay. The transporter was out of the question - the SAU that had been implanted in both Blair and Harry would trigger the buffers, either as an infection or a Borg alert. Both were restricted to the ship until they delivered their infants, though they could take a shuttle if an emergency arose.

Meanwhile, James carried Blair to sickbay for the third time in a week.

The doctor was waiting with a hypospray. He put Blair under before anyone had a chance to object, even before James could put him down.

The relief that spread over the taut features was almost ludicrous, and then the empath lost consciousness.

Carefully, fighting the fear that always engulfed him when his Guide's mind was so far away, Ellison tucked the blankets around him and then sat on the biobed beside him, touching his face. A washcloth was pressed into his hand and he turned to find Harry watching him, and thanked him silently before cleaning the tears, sweat, snot, and traces of blood from his Guide's slack face,

"Lt. Ellison, we must discuss your Guide's condition." The doctor sounded very sober and serious, unusually so for him. There was no trace of arrogance in the tone.

"So, talk."

"I would prefer to do this with the Captain present."

That got his attention.

"Why?" He growled, suspicion arcing through him.

"Ensign Kim and Lt.Paris are capable of caring for Ensign Sandburg while we are gone. I have already contacted the Captain."

"What if I said no? What if I said I wouldn't leave him?!" Rising, James loomed threateningly, belligerent.

"Listen to him, Ellison!" Paris snapped low, the sound carrying and hitting like a whip.

"It's for Blair." Harry added, pulling a chair to the side of the biobed and watching the monitors above it blink slowly.

"Fine." James spat. "But I'm not making any decisions without him!"

The doctor said nothing, only went to the door and waited expectantly for Ellison to join him.

Behind them Tom took over the task of cleaning Blair's face, and began gently brushing out his tangled hair.

Instead of the sterile atmosphere of the briefing room or the still-awkward casualness of the captain's quarters, this time they met in the mess. Neelix hovered around them, offering replicated delicacies produced from some secret stash of rations, including the all-important coffee that Janeway carefully sipped.

The ship's botanist had replicated some coffee plant seeds, but the hydroponics aby just couldn't seem to be adjusted quite right for them to thrive; they had withered and died shortly. Of course, plants grown from replicated seed were always chancy to begin with, even when there was original material to work with, as there was with these.

They had the time, Janeway mused. She should just let someone take over a couple of sets of quarters, throw in some dirt and fertilizer and proper lighting, fiddle with the air pressure and elevations, and see of they could simply grow some. The thought of real fresh coffee was mouth-watering and she promised herself that she would look into the possibility.

Chakotay was on the bridge, so only Janeway, Tuvok and the doctor were present to talk to the very unhappy and terminally frustrated Ellison.

She set her cup down deliberately.

"The doctor tells me that there isn't much more he can do for your Guide, Lt. Ellison."

"What are you saying?"

The darkness in his eyes made it clear that he knew exactly what she was saying, and that he rejected it completely.

"Traditionally, if there is a choice to be made, Sentinels have been known to sacrifice their child for their Guide. Even in circumstances when doing so led to their eventual death.

The Vulcan's words as emotionless as always. Perfectly pitched. Ellison flinched.

"We won't get another chance. I found him so late - I can't make him die that way. If I'm just going to die anyhow, why did I go through all of this?! His words were uncharacteristically quiet, filled with pain, "I should have just died and been done with it."

"That would not have solved anything." The Vulcan chided gently.

"If you choose to terminate this pregnancy you can always try again." Leaning forward, eyes serious, Janeway urged him. "The doctor can do more research, develop a safer Au for Blair to use."

"There is nothing else." With a sigh James leaned forward, his face in his hands. "I've read all the research. There is nothing more advanced."

"In the Delta Quadrant." Janeway added firmly, but Ellison barked a short, bitter laugh.

"We might get home tomorrow, we might not. It wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. I have no lands, no title, nothing to call my own except what Fleet has issued. His words were deeply bitter. "I can't go home to my family, I'll never be allowed around other Sentinels again, and any child I might have would be ostracized anyhow. This has been a waste of effort from the beginning."

"So you're just going to give up."

"No." Ellison snarled the word, sitting forward. his hands gripping the arms of the chair white-knuckled. "The only thing that's important here is Blair. He's my Guide. Whatever he wants, that's what we'll do. If he dies, fine, then I die too. If that's the way he wants it to be. I owe him that."

Janeway put a hand on his arm and spoke with all the calm she could muster. The thought of Sandburg dying - as the result of a series of events she had set into motion - was actually painful. All that bright enthusiasm and brilliant spirit, sucked out of him and finally destroyed.

But she said what she had to, because it was right.

"It will be his decision, then."

And that was the conclusion of the meeting. James went directly back to sickbay while the others wandered off to their particular pursuits. Janeway and Chak retired to her ready room to talk about anything but the Sentinel-Guide situation.

Or their current romance.

Things were just becoming too complicated too quickly. Not that they weren't complicated before...

"Have you ever wanted a baby, Kathryn?" The question seemed to come from out of the blue. With her hands warming on a cup of bad coffee, the captain looked up at her first officer, her lover.

"Yes. Many times."

"It's something we haven't discussed." He seemed to be musing on the concept.

"Have you?"

"Always." The look he gave her would have melted permafrost. "But I never knew it until I met you."

"You mean until you fell in love with me." She corrected.

"No." He stood, coming to stand near her but looking out of the port. "When I met you I thought 'If I had a daughter I would want her to be like this."

"You did not." She protested weakly.

"Just last week I was thinking; this would be a good time. We're in a quiet area, as far as we can tell there's nothing ahead for millions of light years. There are two other babies coming." He gave her an apologetic glance. "I was just daydreaming."

A few minutes passed, silence reigning. Then Janeway sighed and reached out her hand, touched his arm gently.

"I've daydreamed too, Chakotay."

"Mr.Sandburg."

The voice in his ears was familiar but unwelcome. Ignoring it, Blair searched his mind for the mental signature he needed, the one that would ease the pain that wracked his body.

As soon as he reached for it, it was there, and he relaxed as much as he could into James' warm mental embrace.

The Sentinel had come a long ways since they met, he now accepted and even reveled in their mental connection, and was learning to use it fully.

I'm here, I'm here. James never used his name in his mind, instead there was just this sense of presence that meant 'Guide'. It needed no name or identification.

The presence in his mind quickly translated to a physical presence around his aching body and Blair realized that he was being held, gently but firmly, in James' lap, curled up there like an infant. He could sense other people in the room, and finally he opened his eyes, the last of the drug clearing from his system as the antidote took effect.

Immediately he was overwhelmed with the need to vomit. He doubled over, stomach spasming painfully, and gentle hands held him, pulled his hair back while another pair held a basin beneath his mouth to catch the trickle of green bile that drooled from his lips.

The cool hiss of a hypospray at his neck and the nausea eased, he was tilted back and cuddled despite the fact that he could smell himself, it must have been a hundred times worse to his Sentinel's nose.

"I'm okay. What - why did you wake me?" He mumbled, groping for James' skin, managing to get a hand beneath his uniform tunic.

From James' memories he was aware that he'd been asleep for several days to combat the reaction he'd been suffering.

The doctor bent down and spoke to him softly.

"I'm sorry for the pain you are suffering, Ensign Sandburg, but Lt. Ellison says that you must be consulted before we can make a decision regarding your condition. It is my professional opinion that your illness will only increase as your pregnancy continues, and that you may not survive the experience."

"You're asking me to abort." He shuddered weakly, unable to put more energy into it, but could feel James' rejection of the idea, of both ideas.

I choose you. The thought was expanded with a depth of feeling.

"no." Unable to do more than whisper, the sickness rising in him again, only minutes after the injection, Blair let a moan slip free.

"You could die, Blair." The captain's voice, seeming to come from far away as he convulsed, retching. His head was beginning to throb.

"I - no. Can't." He gasped out the words between bouts of heaving, his throat raw. "It - he - the - I can feel him." With an effort he curled into himself, drawing on James' strength to calm his body for a few precious moments. "The baby is already bonded to me. I can feel him. If I kill him I'll kill myself."

There was stunned silence. Then James' arms closed around him tightly, too tightly, and he accepted it gratefully.

"Of course." The doctor sounded delighted. "A pregnant empath would be able to contact the infant."

"Just as Vulcan parents can telepathically contact their unborn children." Tuvok sounded sad.

Wishing he could help the Vulcan, Blair tried to send reassurance but the very attempt was too much for him. He began to shudder, body rocking painfully, and James held him more tightly while the doctor went for another hypospray.

"No." He whispered.

"No." James echoed, knowing only that his Guide did not want it. not needing to know why.

"He's going to go into a seizure, Ellison." The doctor protested.

"Let the doctor treat him. Lt." Janeway ordered.

"No!" Standing, lifting Blair easily, James backed into a corner of the room. "He doesn't want it. I think it will hurt the baby!"

"If he dies it will hurt all of you." Janeway said sternly. "This is the only way."

"No!" James said again, desperately. "No, there has to be another way. Wait!" He half-turned, shielding Blair from the doctor with his body. Tension and pain radiated from him and in his arms the younger man began to convulse.

"Blair!" James shouted.

The doctor reached around him and James was too busy trying to not drop his Guide when Tuvok spoke again, loudly.

"Hold."

The doctor paused and James concentrated on Blair.

"Sh, sh, it's okay, I got you." He couldn't do more than hang onto him and croon, but his mouth was close to the younger man's ear and he was sending as much energy as he could through the bond.

"You have another solution, Tuvok?" Janeway sounded weary.

"Perhaps." Spoken with the usual Vulcan calm. "Lt.Ellison, please try to convince your Guide to accept the sedation for the time being. I believe I might have a solution that will not involve further dosages, but I need time to research it."

Dropping to the floor, uncaring of the damage to his knees, James cradled Blair as close as he could and whispered to him, in his ear and through the bond. Exhausted by the convulsions that were now tempering off, Blair lay lax and still.

Finally he raised his head, eyes blurred with tears he would not shed, and he nodded.

"He says go ahead, but it's the last time."

The doctor slipped to the floor as well and injected the psychic sedative and Blair's presence slipped from James' mine again. He moaned softly.

"Let me take him." The doctor offered, but James refused. He did not move, either.

"Increase the heat in the room and let him stay there." Janeway said. "Get him a blanket and pillow."

"Yes, sir." Miffed, the doctor left the treatment room while she turned to Tuvok.

"Not yet." He said immediately. "Give me twenty-four hours."

"You've got it, and not a minute more."

They parted ways, and the doctor came back in, wrapping a thick, warm blanket around James' shoulders and tucking it around both of them.

"Try to get some rest."He told the Sentinel.

There was no answer.

"There is a technique." Tuvok stated with typical Vulcan calm. But he did not explain further.

"A technique to do what, Tuvok?" Frustrated by a long night and an even longer day, Janeway had little patience left, even for her old friend.

The fluctuation in the deflector array refused to be repaired and was getting worse. There was now a measurable effect on the sensors and information they were getting about the space they were traveling through was no longer safe to be trusted, not completely. B'Lanna's crew had worked the night through and were only now beginning to accept forced breaks for food and rest. The drive and determination of a Star Fleet engineer had never found its match.

"To telepathically sedate an empath. Empathy is not a common Vulcan mental skill, it is, in fact, the rarest of all mental talents. But I believe Ensign Sandburg can be kept sedated through a manipulation of his own empathic abilities."

"Would you have to be the one doing it?" Chakotay asked, both hands flat on the conference table.

"No. Indeed, I am not a good candidate for this particular manipulation. It would best be carried out by humans, or members of other highly emotional species."

"We don't have any human telepaths on board." Janeway said, giving him a look. She knew Tuvok well, he would not bring this to her if there wasn't a chance it would work. A good chance. He would not waste her time. "Could non-telepaths do it?"

"Yes." He answered and she could tell by his eyes that she had anticipated his next comment and he was pleased. "It would be difficult, and draining, but the technique can be taught. I would put forth the notion that there are enough crewmembers that feel kindly toward Ensign Sandburg for a sufficient number of them to sit with him for specified intervals."

"Set up a schedule. How long would they be able to do it for?"

"An hour. Perhaps two. No more. Humans lack the concentration skills available to Vulcans."

Janeway nodded.

"You are sure you can teach this? How does it work?"

"It is a deep meditation technique. Since the ensign's empathic talents are strongest when there is physical contact, the helper would have to sit with him, and touch him, while they meditated. A deep meditation on relaxation and sleepiness would probably be sufficient - with one important qualification. Lt. Ellison would have to be sedated, so that his state of mind could influence Ensign Sandburg's."

"Sedate Ellison and it helps keep Sandburg under without drugs? Ingenious." Chakotay commented. "But he would still need the contact of others to keep him under?"

"Yes. Simply sedating Ellison will only encourage him to rest, he needs to be as quiet as possible."

"This sounds like it has a chance." Janeway said, standing, her hands on the back of her chair. "Tuvok, choose an initial group to train - how long will that take? - and get started with them. I'll speak to the doctor and see if he can come up with something that will keep Ellison under without damaging him. We can do that without hurting him now that he's bonded, right?" She referred to the interval before the two had bonded, when sedating Ellison was one of the ways suggested to relieve his zone-outs.

"It would be just like sedating anyone else, I think. I'll talk to Ellison." Chakotay said, standing with the Vulcan officer.

"I anticipate having the first three ready within a day." Tuvok told Janeway. "Paris already has a strong connection to Ensign Sandburg, as do Ensigns Wildman and Gerelli. They will be my first choices."

"I'll let you choose among the others who volunteer." Janeway said. "And let's pray this works. I don't think I could handle another Sentinel-Guide crisis."

"What until the baby comes...." Chakotay teased her as Tuvok left.

It was dark, and he was hungry. There was a pressure on his legs. Not uncomfortable, but his mind could not explain it. Blair tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt weighted with sand.

Jim was nearby, his mind a muted whisper. Asleep. Safe.

Near, but not touching. Then what was this weight?

His head was heavy, but he lifted it, hoping the change of angle would make his eyes cooperate.

"Here, I've got you." Gentle hands on his head, hands he did not recognize. His mind rested and he felt comfort from those hands, but did not understand.

"'ma eyes.." Mumbled words, barely louder than breath.

"Let me clean them."

Warm, soft dampness, and then he could open them. It was still dark, and he realized, belatedly, that the room was only dimly lit by a single tapered candle that burned beside the door.

The hands he hadn't recognized belonged to a face that was only vaguely familiar.

"Who -? Ensign Peretti?"

Why would a low-level engineer that he barely knew be sitting with him. And where was -

"Jim?!"

"Your Sentinel in sleeping sounding, sedated, Sandburg." Peretti stood and moved from the side of the biobed so that Blair could see the large form lying almost still on another bed only a few feet away, against the wall. Jim was covered with a silver thermal blanket. His face looked relaxed and peaceful. "Are you hungry? The doctor said to try to get you to eat if you woke."

"Have I been sedated again?" Memory flashed back, random chunks, and he half-sat, both hands going to his middle."The baby?!"

"Your infant is well." Perretti's hands on his shoulders, the long, crooked green nails proof that an Orion had once snuck into his family woodpile, pushing him back down, with gentle but firm insistence. "Lt. Wildman is scheduled to replace me in a few minutes...if you can stay awake that long I'll get you something to eat then."

"Gruel." Blair mumbled, lying back. His hands caressed his belly, surprised at the roundness of it. How long had it been?

"You remember." Perretti smiled, his teeth sharp and edged. A carnivore, Blair remembered.

"When is it?" He closed his eyes. He didn't want to sleep again, not this soon, but he was so tired. his body ached with exhaustion, though he did nothing but lie there.

"It's been nine weeks and three days since the experiment began." The man told him. He sat on the corner of the bed by Blair's head and ran his fingers through the long hair, separating strands with his nails. It was soothing, and Blair sighed. "The doctor says that everything is going well, and that you didn't need to see him unless you wanted to."

Oh, yes. He had complained about the doctor's constant presence, once. Or perhaps more than once. Always finding him there, hovering, when he woke, had made Blair anxious. Since the whole point of this exercise was to avoid anxiety on his part and keep him healthy without hurting his child, the doctor had agreed to 'give him some space'.

"No gruel." He wondered if he looked green to the ensign. He certainly felt it.

"You want to go back under?" Perretti was surprised, his hand slowing in its caress.

"No Jim." It was the only explanation he could give. Being awake, with Jim scarcely a presence in his mind, was almost painful. And, of course, the nausea was still there; the tightness in his belly, the taste of bile at the back of his throat.

"Your Sentinel is well, Guide, and your child." The engineer took one of Blair's hands and laid it on the curve of his belly. "Feel the life here. I can feel it moving sometimes, when I sit with you."

"How much longer?" Tilting his head took so much energy.... with both hands Blair rubbed his abdomen, and a faint smile crept onto his face.

"Doc said to tell you another month. Then it will be able to survive outside you. The sooner it's born, the better off all of you will be."

"He."

"Pardon?" Perretti blinked at him, a second eyelid briefly visible. He was just a mutt, an interesting mixture of genetics. Blair would have loved to study his family structure.

"It's male. I can tell. No words yet, but he seems content. Put me back to sleep." With both hands still on his belly, Blair dropped his head back to the flat pillow. He was rolled regularly, from side-to-side and to his back and off, but he always seemed to wake in this position.

"Okay." Perretti smiled at him. "If you could hang on just a few minutes more, I know Wildman would love the chance to talk to you."

"Tell her I'm sorry...I just want to sleep." He closed his eyes and whispered. "Maybe next time."

"All right."

The hiss of the hypospray sounded cold and Blair shivered. The engineer tucked the thermal blanket tighter around him. Then his green-clawed hands returned to their earlier task, gently stroking through Blair's hair, soothing him as he sank under the weight of the drugs. The shunt that protruded from his right side, the tube that snaked through his penis, these were mild annoyances, though the loss of dignity grated.

The lack of Jim in his mind was a much more serious problem. There was a part of him that cowered, gibbering, desperate for some contact with his Sentinel.

It faded, too, as he slipped away.

"How is he doing?"

"Everything is on schedule, captain." The holodoc bustled around the small bed, studying screens and taking readings.

On the bed Harry Kim lay, propped up, frowning.

"Are you sure it's time, doc? It's only been thirty-seven weeks, and you said I needed to make forty weeks."

Sitting on the edge of the biobed beside him, Tom held Harry's hand. The pilot seemed unnaturally subdued. He simply sat, holding Harry's hand and occasionally patting his belly, not saying anything.

"I assure you, Mr.Kim, Mr. Paris, your child has reached the optimum delivery date. All tests show that labor will commence within the next twenty-four hours, so the baby needs to be delivered now. The smaller birthweight will make the delivery that much easier on both of you." The doctor spoke in a huffy tone of voice, as always aggravated by being questioned.

"Are you ready, Harry? Tom?" Janeway stepped up to the bed and took Harry's other hand.

"We haven't really got things set up in our quarters." Harry said, confidingly. "All we've got is the cradle Chakotay made for us, and a few clothes from Wildman."

"That's all you need to start. It won't be going far at first." Janeway smiled at him, and Tom flinched. "Tom?"

"Nothing, captain." He mumbled. Concerned, she reached for his hand with her free one.

"Are you worried about the delivery?"

He turned his head away, leaned over and hid his face in Harry's neck. The pregnant man rubbed the back of the blond head, taking his hand away from the captain to do so.

"He's just anxious about being a good parent." He told Janeway. "He doesn't want to be like his father."

"Your father is a good man, Tom Paris, and I know he loves you, though he never demonstrated it very well. You know better, you'll be there for your child." Janeway scolded mildly. The pilot didn't respond.

"We're all ready here. Captain, are you going to stay and watch?" The doctor asked, pulling over a small tray.

"If they don't mind." She stood, with a last pat for Harry, and gave them a hopeful look.

"It's okay with me." Harry said. "I imagine I won't have much modesty left after this anyhow."

"It's a simple surgical procedure, Mr.Kim." The doctor sounded offended. "First I will deliver the baby and then I will remove the Au. The second procedure may take a few minutes, you may use that time to bond with your new infant."

"That's very generous of you." Harry said, and there were laugh lines crinkling the corners of his eyes. Janeway had to smother a smile as the doctor paused and frowned.

"Yes, indeed." he said flatly, not getting the joke. "Are you ready to begin? Mr.Paris, if you could remove yourself from the bed and stand by Mr.Kim's head?"

Without a word Tom did as he was told. Harry held out his hand to the captain and she took the other side. Both held his hands, and he took a deep breath.

"Ready when you are, doc."

The first part went smoothly. Janeway found herself staring, as wide-eyed as a child on Christmas, when the Au was opened and the doctor reached in with both hands, and pulled them out filled with dripping, bawling baby.

"You have a daughter, gentlemen." He said, sounding smug.

"Oh, wow." Tom breathed. Harry laughed out loud, and freed their hands to reach for her as the doctor wrapped a small blue blanket around her damp form. There was no blood, no gore. Just wet baby.

"I told you!" Harry was still laughing, but there were tears on his face as well. He cradled the baby to his chest and she turned her head Automatically, seeking something to suck, and Janeway laughed.

"She won't find much there, will she?" Because they wanted to share parenting duties equally, Harry had decided against breast implants and the hormone treatments that would have allowed him to nurse.

"She shouldn't eat for an hour or so anyhow." The doctor spoke up, still busy at the wound in Harry's abdomen. The captain knew that all of the blood vessels and organs that had become involved with the Au had to be disconnected from it before it could be safely removed. "I estimate that she weighs six pounds and nine ounces, an excellent size."

Tom and Harry were stroking their baby, touching her head, counting her fingers and toes.

"She's perfect." Harry sighed.

"Look at her eyes, Har." With the baby as a real presence Tom seemed to have forgotten his earlier worries. "And her hair is so soft."

Looking over, Janeway saw that the infant's eyes were wide and blue, but not the normal dark blue of a newborn. These were brighter and clearer. She cast a glance at the doctor, who was absorbed in his work.

He looked up, and met her gaze. If she hadn't known better she would have said he was teasing her.

The two men had chosen to leave the baby's appearance to random selection, but she could just bet the doctor hadn't been able to leave well enough alone. Janeway looked at her more closely.

Her eyes were that bright blue, though slightly clouded, as was normal, and they had the beautiful almond shape of Harry's. Her skin was quickly darkening, but it was more a dusky pink than the darker olive of his. And her hair! There was gobs of it -- thick, jet black, and with a wave that made her think of Tom.

Well, if the doctor had manipulated her genetics a bit, he'd certainly made sure she would be attractive when she grew up. Though Janeway saw more of Harry in her than Tom. But if she had Tom's blue eyes and slender build, she would be beautiful indeed.

"So what is her name?" She asked gently, touching the small cheek with a finger and grinning when the baby turned her head toward the touch.

Tom's head came up from where he'd been nuzzling Harry.

He blushed.

"Um. Uh, we -- if you don't mind, captain -- you've been..."

"What Tom is trying to say is..."

"You gave me a second chance when I hadn't earned it, and you supported Harry and I all along..."

"So we were hoping it would be okay with you..."

"You want to name her after me?" A wash of pride swept over her.

"Not exactly." Harry said. "But sortof."

"The name we chose is Kathlyn." Tom said, softly. "Not Kathryn, exactly."

"Because I believe people should have their own names." Harry added.

"But definitely meant as a thank you to you." Tom finished.

"Kathlyn. I like it." Janeway said, just as softly. Her cheeks felt heated and she wondered if she was blushing. That would be strange. But she was so... "I am honored, both of you. I can't thank you enough."

"We'll probably call her Kat most of the time." Harry confided.

"Will she have a second name?" The doctor jumped in, even as he began removing the disassembled pieces of the Au from Harry's belly.

"Yes. Kim. Kathlyn Kim Paris."

"We were having trouble deciding whose last name she was going to get." Harry said, and he winced. The baby - Kathlyn - Kat - squirmed a bit and her mouth opened as if she was going to wail. "But I'm not particular, and the Paris name has a long, illustrious history. And my name works as well as a middle name."

"I still think Kathlyn Paris Kim sounds just as good." Tom said. He used both hands to lift her off Harry's chest. "Let me get her cleaned up and dressed while the doc finishes, okay, Har?"

"Yes, you go bond with our baby." Harry gave him a luminous smile.

"C'mon, Kat." Tom crooned, snuggling her into the crook of his arm almost expertly. "Let's go get dressed, and then we can talk. I've got so many plans for you...you're going to learn all about cars, and engines and I'm going to teach you to play pool, and someday you'll fly Voyager just the way your daddy does..."

Harry and Janeway exchanged glances as they walked into the next room.

"It already hurts to be away from her." Harry said slowly.

"Is Tom planning on raising another Wesley Crusher?" Janeway said conversationally. "Sounds like he's going to have to get started early to teach her all of that." Leaning low over the bed, she hugged Harry close. She returned the embrace, holding onto her fiercely. The tears had not started to fall yet, but she thought that they would, as soon as he had some privacy.

"All done here. Just a few more moments, Mr.Kim. I will close the incision and you can rest for a few hours, then Mr.Paris can take both of you back to your quarters. You'll need to stay in bed for forty-eight hours, like we discussed. Let Tom take care of you both."

A robust wail sounded from the next room and Janeway finally laughed.

"I think he's going to have his hands full."

"He'll be fine. We'll be great."

Harry's smile was tired, but his face was filled with such joy... Kathryn Janeway thought, suddenly, that perhaps she should be doing more than daydreaming about certain things.

"Kathryn?"

"Sh, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's very late."

Sitting up in his bed, Chakotay flipped the edge of the blanket down and invited her in. The captain, wearing a simple off- duty tunic-and-pants set, slipped in beside him and lay back gratefully. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

"I had to finish up those engineering reviews, and then I went by sickbay to check on Sandburg and Ellison. Then I was going to come straight here, but I walked by Harry and Tom's quarters and the baby was screaming, so I stopped to see if they needed any help..."

"And did they?"

She laughed, low.

"They are completely lost, Chakotay. She was screaming, Tom was trying to get her to eat and trying to keep Harry in bed at the same time... I changed her while Tom gave Harry his painkillers and then Tom fed her while I sat with him. He's exhausted, but I've never seen anyone look so happy."

"I could look that happy." Rising on an elbow, he looked down at her. "I'm serious, Kathryn. Ellison is right. We might get home tomorrow, or we might never get home. We can't put our lives on hold because we're stuck out here."

She just stared up at him, her features tight as she thought. Using his free hand, he stroked her hair.

"One of the phrases Sandburg used was 'biological clock'. I know that women have longer childbearing spans now, but there will come a time when you have to decide, or give up the chance. I'd much rather you took the chance with me. We could have a baby, Kathryn. There's no reason not to."

"Except that I'm the captain, and this is not a Constitutionclass ship. Voyager wasn't made to be a family ship."

"But we have a lot of space. And not everyone on board is going to want to reproduce." He kissed her, silencing her next flurry of protests. "I'm just asking you to think about it. We could get married, if you like. A real old-fashioned ceremony."

After kissing him back, she sighed.

"I don't want to think that hard tonight, Chakotay. Can we just get a good night's sleep and talk about it in the daylight? Lots of things that look like a good idea in the dark don't stand up to the light of day."

"Day or night, I want to make a baby with you." He said, hugging her. "But I'll back off, for now. You have to come to it on your own."

"Thank you." She said, closing her eyes. It had been a very long day. Since Kathlyn's birth things had become more hectic, and not just for Tom and Harry. The shield fault was still spreading, which had made the yearly reviews for the engineering team that much more difficult. She didn't feel that she could really blame them for it, but it was a failure that was still affecting the ship. In the end she had graded everyone honestly and then added a note about the uncorrected flaw. It wasn't like their pay depended on their reviews.

Sandburg was doing as well as could be expected, though he was once again becoming too thin and weak, from the months of enforced bedrest. And the Sentinel was reflecting his Guide's condition, for the same reasons. It could take him months to regain his previous condition, which left her with the proposition of moving him from his security posting to something less dangerous until he did so.

She sighed again and Chakotay, already half-asleep again, murmured unintelligibly and snuggled her closer, gusting a sigh into her hair.

Too many problems, and only one captain. Perhaps ruling by committee wasn't such a bad idea after all...

"Wha-?"

Blair sat up. NAUSEA swept over him, but he was used to that.

Chakotay sat beside him. The Native America's eyes were closed, his features composed in quiet contemplation. One hand rested on the mound of Blair's belly, where he could feel the baby turning over inside the Au.

The Guide sucked in a breath, fighting the sensations that assailed him, and squinted his eyes, looking around the small room.

Jim was sleeping, silent and still, on the biobed a few feet away from him. His big body was warmly covered and there was no sign of agitation in his mind.

"Sandburg?" Chakotay opened his eyes, and stared at him. "Are you okay?"

"Something's wrong." He blurted out.

"With the baby?!" Chakotay was on his feet, slapping the button that summoned the holodoc before Blair could object.

"No, on the ship - something's wrong!" Struggling to sit, Blair grabbed onto Chakotay's arm and used it to lever himself up.

"What?" The First officer demanded, but his hand covered Blair's and squeezed it gently.

"I don't know - it's like there's... there's too many people." The younger man allowed himself to be carefully propped on a stack of pillows Chakotay took from the floor. His babysitters used them to get comfortable.

"Explain, please." Sounding very patient, Chakotay waited for him to think things through. The doctor materialized, and immediately began scolding the Guide.

"You are under strict orders to lie flat, Mr.Sandburg. Did you wake yourself from the structured meditation? You can't do that if you want your baby to be healthy." He ran a tricorder, set specifically for the Guide's biofunctions, over him. "This isn't good, you've allowed yourself to become agitated. I'll need to give you a mild sedative to relax you so that you can regain your meditative state." He reached for the hypospray.

"No, wait." Chakotay ordered when Sandburg turned protesting eyes on him. "Something is happening, and he's feeling it."

"He's probably just picking up stress from Mr.s Paris and Kim." The doc opined. "Going back under would be the most beneficial thing for him in that case."

"Why would Harry and Tom be stressed?!" Blair sounded worried, and the first officer hastened to reassure him.

"They delivered their baby three days ago. A little early, but she's fine. I'm sure they wanted to tell you in person." A thought occurred to him, and he asked a question. "Could the baby be the extra mind you're feeling? There is one more person aboard now."

"No, I feel - hundreds. Thousands. All around us." He shivered, and wrapped his arms around himself, hunching protectively over his stomach. "They want my baby."

"I don't think so, Blair." Chakotay said kindly. "But I'll have B'LANNA run a scan, if that makes you feel better."

The doctor was readying a hypospray.

"Perhaps if we dampen your abilities for a while you'll be able to rest again." He suggested.

"No!" Blair reached a hand out, beseechingly, toward Ellison. "Wake him up, I need to feel him, wake him up..."

"It would just upset you again." The doctor said. Chakotay hit his communicator.

"Torres."

"B'LANNA, I need you to run a ship-wide scan. Find out exactly how many people we have on board."

"You know how many people we have on board, Commander, or is this a trick question?" She sounded annoyed, and he sighed.

"Just run the scan, Torres."

"Yes, sir. I'll have the results in three minutes or less. Torres out."

"Please, doc. I need to touch him." Blair was still pleading with the holodoc.

"Do as he says." Chakotay ordered.

"I want to register my professional objection to this."

"Understood." The first officer snapped.

Huddled into himself, Blair barely waited until Ellison was awake before he called to him.

"Sentinel, hey, man, c'mon over here, your Guide needs you..." He crooned, and the Sentinel did just as he asked, rising from his bed and staggering over to collapse beside Blair, who curled as close to him as he could get with his belly in the way.

"Do you sense anything?" He whispered, not caring that he had an Audience.

"Just you -- ah, gods, Blair, it's been too long." Jim wrapped himself around his Guide as best he could and held him very close. The doctor moved to object, but Chakotay silenced him with a look.

"There's something else going on. I can feel it, can you?" Blair pressed his Sentinel, framing the man's face with both hands, using his eyes to anchor him.

"Maybe...too many?" Jim squinted as Blair had done, and his eyes covered the room. Suspiciously, like a security officer.

"Torres to Chakotay."

"Go ahead."

"Counting Kathlyn, we have exactly as many people aboard as we should have."

"Thank you, B'LANNA."

Moving to the head of the biobed, Chakotay bent over to meet the eyes of the embracing men.

"You heard the lady. Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"If it was strong enough to pull Mr.Sandburg from his meditation, then I suspect that something may indeed be wrong." The doctor said helpfully.

Blair shrugged.

"I can just feel it. They're hostile, but it's not personal. More like they want what we have. And they think they're going to get it, Chakotay. They think they've already won."

"Could this have anything to do with the sensor and shield failures we've been experiencing?"

"What better way to make your target vulnerable?" Ellison asked. He began to pull away from Blair, who protested silently, holding on more tightly and burying his head in the larger man's throat. "Have B'LANNA try a scan on a different frequency." Ellison suggested to Chakotay, who was patting the Guide, trying to comfort him. "I think she can calibrate the sensors to scan on the same frequency as his telepathy." He dropped a kiss to the top of Blair's head.

Chakotay didn't argue, just nodded.

"Chakotay to Torres."

"Go ahead." She sounded mightily annoyed now.

"Don't ask why, Lt, just do as I say. Identify Ensign Sandburg's telepathic frequency and recalibrate the sensors to scan on that frequency."

"Yes, sir." She sounded subdued. "It may take a few minutes."

"You've got ten." He said. Then he tapped his communicator again. "Chakotay to Janeway."

"Janeway here. Go ahead, Commander."

"We may have a situation, Captain. Can you join me in sickbay?"

"Is everyone alright?" The worry showed in her voice.

"Yes, Captain."

"I'm on my way."

Turning his attention back to the men on the biobed, Chakotay reached for the bow of 'gruel' that was always kept warm nearby, in case Sandburg woke.

"Since you're up, do you think you could eat any of this?"

"Oh, yuck." The younger man said, with feeling. The Sentinel wrinkled his nose and sniffed the air.

"That's disgusting. Are you making him eat it?"

Blair rolled his eyes.

"It's a concentrated nutrient formula specially designed by me, intended to give him everything his body needs and essential elements for the child." The doctor said.

"Yes." Chakotay added.

"Good." Ellison said, with a laugh.

"I'm awake, can't I have real food?" Blair asked piteously.

"Open wide." Chakotay teased solemnly, a spoonful in the air.

Suddenly the ship rocked, and the gruel slid from the spoon in a sideways stream and oozed onto the floor, leaving a sticky green trail.

"Gross!" Blair yelled. NAUSEA rose in him and he retched. Jim held him tightly.

"I need to put him back under." The doctor said urgently.

"No, no, no..." This time it was Ellison refusing, holding his mate close and soothing him with gentle touches and pats. "It just caught him by surprise..."

Discarding the bowl, Chakotay hit his com badge an instant after it beeped.

"Torres!" He said, loudly.

"Chakotay!" She sounded upset, and angry. "I found something! I can't quite tell how, yet, but we seem to have picked up a load of stowaways! I'm getting readings all over the ship, on the frequency you instructed me to use."

"What are they?" He demanded. The ship lurched again.

"Some kind of sentient lifeform, if their brains work at all like ours. They're out of phase to us, by only a few microlevels -- it's their presence that's been disrupting out sensors and shields!"

"How do we get rid of them?!"

"I don't know! Let me run a few more tests and I'll get back to you."

"I'm going to call a conference. Meet me in the conference room." Chakotay glanced down at Sandburg and Ellison, and corrected himself. "No, on second thought, come straight to sickbay as soon as you find anything. The Captain is already on

her way here."

"I'm on my way!" B'LANNA unknowingly echoed Janeway's words.

Chakotay motioned to the doctor.

"Get us some chairs, and expand their bed so they can lie together comfortably." He ordered.

"I don't think this is in the best interest of my patients...." The doctor began, but he shut his mouth and turned away when Chakotay glared at him.

Then Chak sat on the edge of the bed, and spoke to the two men, quietly, seriously.

"Tell me as much as you can sense about these invaders."

There was a tense silence, then Blair relaxed back into Jim's arms and sighed, eyes closing.

"Blair?" Chakotay prompted.

"He's gathering himself." The Sentinel told him.

"Ah." The First Officer had some idea what that meant.

The silence grew, and then the Captain entered the room.

"Report, Mr. Chakotay. I've been discussing things with B'LANNA, and it seems that we're in more trouble than we thought." She brought a

chair in with her.

"They're thieves, Captain. The whole race. This is what they do -- sneak aboard a ship when they can't be detected and wait until there are

so many of them the crew can't fight them off, and then they'll phase into

real time and take over." Blair, eyes still closed, spoke softly. Jim held

him tightly.

"What can we do to stop them?"

"If we force them to reveal themselves before they're ready, we might win the battle."

"He thinks they've never been caught before." Jim added. "There's nothing in their racial history to tell them how to deal with that."

"How do we do it?" Chakotay asked, leaning forward.

Jim shook his head and the Guide didn't move. They seemed caught up in their closeness, something Chakotay had seen before.

"Come on, here, you guys are our experts." The first officer tried to get the two focused.

"Not by much." Blair mumbled. Then he pushed Ellison away, but not very hard, like he didn't really mean it. "Go on. This is the only way I'll work." He said, seeming to be speaking to the reluctant Sentinel.

"You'll be sick." Ellison objected softly. To Chakotay's eyes he sounded younger than his years, and frightened. Almost like a lost child.

"I'm going to be sick anyhow. And we haven't got a lot of time left." Now Sandburg was actively working to make the Sentinel leave. "Before they try to take over the ship, and bad things happen."

"What are you going to do?" Chakotay asked, bemused by this new vision of Ellison the though guy.

Said tough guy slid off the biobed and to his feet, gently lowering his Guide and covering him warmly, tucking the blanket in tightly around him. The mound of the baby was like a mountain in the middle. Ellison leaned and kissed it.

"Tick-tick, man." Sandburg mumbled, eyes slipping shut. Ellison gestured at Chakotay, toward the door, and the officer followed him out into main sickbay, where they could talk without disturbing the Guide.

"Sandburg says that I can locate them by using our connection, but Torres will have to come up with something to hit them wth. Something to bring them into our phase or just kick them off the ship.

"And how do we do that?"

"You ask Torres. I'm going to find Tuvok and start hunting aliens." Ellison's grin was harsh and Chakotay remembered that a StarFleet security officer could be dangerous, never mind a Sentinel with a vulnerable Guide.

"What did he mean when he said you don't have a lot of time?" He stopped Ellison when the man would have left.

"They almost have enough people on board to attack now." The answer was bland, but Chakotay thought he was holding something back.

"Just let me activate the holodoc."

"No." Shaking his head, Ellison frowned. "He doesn't want that. It bothers him, the technical aspects of it. Just let him rest, I'm keeping close contact."

Silent, Chakotay debated mentally. He didn't like the thought of leaving Sandburg alone and unprotected for any length of time.

"What if we called someone to sit with him." He didn't offer it as a suggestion, not quite.

"Tom and Harry are busy with Kathlyn, Torres will be working with us..."

"We can keep the captain updated here as well as anywhere else." Before Ellison could object Chakotay hit his communicator and it chirped.

"Captain? Could you come down to sickbay?"

"Again? What's the problem this time, Mr. Chakotay?" She sounded resigned.

"Just need a Guide-sitter while we take care of this other problem." He said, with a sudden, irrational fear that she was going to want to end their relationship. Where had that come from? "The usual suspects are occupied and I thought you could use the time well."

"I'm on my way."

Chakotay looked at Ellison, who was practically foaming at the mouth, he was so eager to get started.

"We need to go now." The Sentinel insisted.

"Shouldn't we wait until she gets here?"

"Time is running out." Ellison snapped. Then he turned his back on Chak and went out the main door into the corridor, and took off at a trot.

"I'll locate them, you talk to Torres!" He shouted back over his shoulder as Chakotay came out after him.

There was something strange going on, the first officer knew it, but he didn't know what he could do about it. For now he set about the business of saving the ship, again.

"Mr.Sandburg? Shouldn't you be lying down?" The Captain spoke more sharply than she'd intended, but finding him on his feet, blanket wrapped around him, and walking slowly around his little room, made her think immediately that there was something to worry about.

The young Guide stopped, sweating slightly, his face twisting, and then he put out a hand, apparently to hold her off.

"I'm okay, Captain. Just needed to walk a little bit."

"You look pale. Get back into bed and I'll call the doctor."

"No, I said 'm fine. I'll sit down, okay?"

"I think I should activate the doctor."

"Please, don't." He turned those blue eyes on her and she chuckled.

"There should be a regulation against that, Ensign."

"Use whatever you got." He said, managing a quick smile.

"It works the same for captains, too." She agreed, going across the room to him as he leaned back against the wall. When she was just a few steps away he curled over, arms wrapped around his belly, and gave a low moan. "Sandburg!"

He was braced awkwardly on the wall and she got an arm around his shoulders and slid a leg beneath his bent knees to offer support. With only a bit of contact she could feel the tremors that were running through his frame, so distorted by the pregnancy.

"You're in labor. I'm activating the doctor." She said, allowing her anger to show although she knew he could feel the whole of it. "Computer - activate Emergency Medical Hologram!" She snapped before he could protest further.

"Please state the - Ensign Sandburg, what are you doing out of bed?" The familiar exasperated tones calmed the captain somewhat.

"I think he's in labor." She said, holding the small man more tightly as he moaned again.

"Lt. Ellison is still chasing our uninvited guests?" With almost magical strength provided by the ship, the doctor lifted Sandburg to the biobed, and it Automatically adjusted as he barked commands at it. Inexplicably the empath fought him, gasping for breath and trying to form words.

"No - no - don't - can'- not yet..."

"Captain Janeway to Commander Chakotay!"

"Here, Captain." He must have heard the anxiety in her voice, the worry no one else here knew her well enough to identify.

"Is Lt. Ellison in your vicinity?"

"He's one corridor over. Is there a problem?"

Watching the doctor try to restrain the young empath, who was avoiding him with remarkable skill, considering his condition, Katherine bit her lip, trying to make a decision. The hardest part of being the captain.

"We've located and deported five groups of the aliens." Chakotay said, giving her more information. He knew what she was doing. "Chief Torres thinks we're about three-fourths finished. Ellison's Sentinel skills are making it possible."

"Could you finish without him?" That was the real question. The most important one.

"I don't know." There was a hesitation, a pause that grew, but she knew he had more to say, so she waited. The doctor had gotten a hypo into Sandburg so he should have been sedated, but he was still fighting, twisting on the biobed, head rolling from side to side, struggling to speak. "I don't think so. As soon as he located the first few he seemed to pick up a scent for them. Even though they aren't in this reality, he's been able to track them. He says Ensign Sandburg has blocked their link, so he's not tapping into the Guide's abilities anymore but using his own. It's phenomenal, I've never heard of Sentinel doing anything like it."

"He's the latest-bonded Sentinel in history, there's no telling what he could become capable of." Janeway agreed. "Carry on, Commander, I'll be in touch."

"Aye, Captain." There was a hint of humor in the rich voice, and then the connection was cut. She knew she didn't have to tell him to keep the conversation private - and Ellison would never listen in unofficially, he was too by-the-book for that. Fortunately.

"What's he trying to say?" Standing beside the doctor, who was busily running scans and making adjustments to his instruments, she put a hand on Blair's shoulder. Such an old-fashioned name. She'd never met anyone with it before.

"I haven't had time to listen, I'm attempting to stabilize his condition." The doctor snapped, as she's half-expected.

"If he's in labor, can't you just go ahead and deliver the baby?" It hadn't been very long, but Tom and Harry's child had come much sooner than she'd thought it would, and was very healthy.

Blair twitched under her hand, barely able to move now, low moans taking all of his air.

"You misunderstand, Captain." The doctor elbowed her out of the way and delivered a hypospray directly to the implanted SAU port. Blair arched up and back, giving a shriek that bounced off the walls and echoed in the room, leaving her ears ringing. "He is not in labor. Under normal conditions the Human SAU would begin contracting to simulate the action of birth for the infant's benefit and then notify the computer that the optimum time of delivery had arrived, at which point the Au would be opened and the child born."

"Like you did with Harry."

"Exactly. There is some muscular pain for the birthing parent, caused by the Au activities, which disturbs the organs around the Au. Then the Au disconnects itself from the host's body, and that causes further discomfort, a sensation similar to what most natural parents experience during labor. This design encourages the body of the birth parent to release hormones and chemical signals so that the experience of birth can be most closely mimicked."

"So he's in labor." She repeated, annoyed.

"No, he is not." Equally annoyed.

"Then why is he in so much pain?"

"His body is rejecting the Au, the sane problem we've been fighting all along. It has not begun the birth sequence yet and the child, while large enough, has not received all of the chemical messages it requires to be ready for birth." Injecting another hypospray, this one to the empath's wrist, the doctor took a half step back and seemed to be waiting.

The rigidity of his body eased and he sucked in a deep breath, making a whooping sound, then one hand came up and he grabbed the front of the Captain's uniform and yanked her close, whispering vehemently into her face.

"I cannot deliver without Jim here!"

"The doctor says the baby is in danger." She told him, letting him hold on, leaning closer, gripping his shoulder to give encouragement.

"We must deliver before the Au connections disintegrate further - your infant could be left without oxygen, Ensign."

"He has to be here!" Sandburg panted. Apparently whatever the doctor had given him was enough to take the edge off the pain, but he was still feeling it. "Sentinels -" He gasped, struggling to sit up. Janeway helped him to a reclining position while the doctor moved the bed. "Sentinels bond with their children at birth. Without seeing it born, without smelling and tasting it, he won't be able to accept it as his!"

"Doctor?" Always another complication. Someday she would hunt down whatever greater being it was that created all of these races and have a word with them. This whole Sentinel thing seemed more trouble than it was worth sometimes. Why couldn't it have been simpler? Like Shalains; they reproduced through asexual budding, pretty much whenever they felt ready to, and still had the pleasures of behaviors that strongly resembled recreational sex on the side.

"I am not aware of this." He said in the flat tone that meant he was scanning his memory banks. "There is no such information in any of the records or articles I have access to."

"They keep it a secret, like everything else." Sandburg panted, and his grip on Janeway's tunic tightened noticeably. "If he isn't here he won't be able to bond with the baby - the baby won't be able to become a Sentinel without him - we won't be able to stay together unless I can give him a child...he'll die without a Guide..." It was clear he was on the verge of absolute panic.

"You would not survive another attempt." The doctor told him seriously.

"Chakotay." Janeway made an instant decision, slapping her communicator.

"Captain?" His voice was rushed, as if he had been, or was still, running.

"Tell Lt. Ellison to hole up - we're going to beam him to sickbay."

"Right away." The connection was cut before she had a chance to say more, then she was talking to Tuvok.

"Lock onto Lt. Ellison and beam him directly to sickbay!"

"Ill-advised, Captain." His ever-calm voice soothed her even in this crisis. "Use of the transporter might tip the invaders to our activities, if they take notice of anything unusual."

"Understood. Do it."

He didn't argue. Within seconds Janeway heard the familiar whine of the transporter, distorted as if always seemed when done in the ship itself.

"Contact Tom Paris and get him here as well." She ordered, then backed away from the biobed as Lt.Ellison came crashing through the door, face contorted with fear.

"BLAIR?!"

"Here, I'm here, I'm -" The Guide didn't get a chance to say anything more because his Sentinel was gathering him up in an embrace, crawling onto the biobed with him. The doctor subtly directed his movements so that he wound up sitting, with his legs to either side of Blair and his arms around the smaller man's chest.

The doctor began operating before they were even settled.

Janeway went to the opposite side and took Blair's hand, and he squeezed hers, rolling his eyes once in her direction before slumping back and closing them, breathing slowly through his mouth, obviously fighting the pain.

Ellison petted him with both hands, touched him, soothed him, and Janeway could almost see the bond between them. It was an almost physical manifestation.

Tom trotted in as the first cuts were made and the bulging surface of the Au was revealed. Blood gushed from the wound and Janeway sucked in a breath, frightened for all of them, the entire family.

"I see I'm not too late." Tom said cheerfully, taking a tricorder and scanning Blair before delivering another hypo. "Human co-factor nine to control the bleeding, Doctor."

"Give him another dose in one minute if it continues." The doctor said. He was working at the closure of the Au, which seemed to be covered with some sort of growth. "There's some fibroid activity here, we'll have to watch that in the future to see that it doesn't become a problem."

"The baby?" Blair blinked, and gasped, eyes closing again. Tom took up a second tricorder and ran it around the doctor's hands.

"Doin' fine." He said reassuringly. "Heartbeat good, brain activity nor - wow!"He held the tricorder high and stared at the readings with something like disbelief. "What the heck?"

"I can feel him!" Jim shouted, startling them all. "He's real, I can feel him!"

"Yes, there he is." Blair said softly, and he seemed to relax back into Ellison's arms, all the tension leaving his tormented body. "Can you smell him, Jim?"

"I'm guessing it's a boy." Janeway observed, but the doctor was too busy to reply. Tom gave Blair another injection, but the bleeding didn't seem to slow at all. It was pooling on the biobed and dripping onto the floor. Morbidly Janeway watched the puddle begin to spread, almost reaching her feet, but then she turned her attention back to the operation.

"Hand me that sterile sheet." The doctor said quietly, and then the sudden silence was broken by a loud cracking sound - the Au was open. As quickly as she could Janeway broke open the packaging and unfolded the green drape. Reaching in with both hands the doctor pulled out a bloody, squirming and very much alive baby boy, who let loose a thin squall as soon as air hit his lungs for the first time. The doctor handed him over without a word and Janeway found herself staring into squinted blue eyes that seemed to know too much of the galaxy already.

Stunned, she just stared back for a few seconds before realizing that Ellison was staring as well, hungrily, and she moved to lie the baby high on Blair's chest, above the gaping disaster that had been his belly, aware that the doctor was still working with calmly frantic movements, and Tom was assisting with a much more worried air.

"Here he is." She told the two parents, keeping the infant in place with one hand. "What's his name?"

Ellison covered the baby - and her hand - with both of his and closed his eyes, seeming to drop into one of the sense-trances that came so seldom now, and she would have shaken him out of it if Blair hadn't opened his eyes and spoke.

"There was a hero in a book hundreds of years ago. My mother read me the story when I was very young, and for months after I pretended to be that man. She told me that if I had been born then I would have been much like him."

"And what was his name?" She heard Tom mumbling, realized with a part of her mind that he was praying.

"Shane." Blair breathed, sighed. He scooted a hand up, got it close enough to touch a finger to the baby's leg. It was thin, but strong, the infant kicked out. Sandburg closed his eyes.

"Katherine. Take care of Jim for me. With the baby he can survive without a Guide, but it will be hard. "

She took a step to the side to see his face better and her foot slid when she put it back down. There was a crash, she turned her head just enough to see the remains of the Au, flung heedlessly to the floor as soon as the doctor removed it.

She'd slipped on the blood that now surrounded her booted feet.

"No, Blair, aw, man, please..." Tom had given up on praying and was more or less just standing there, his arms soaked to the elbows in crimson, and the doctor was still working, both hands buried deep inside the traumatized body, oblivious to everything in the room but his patient.

"Have a baby, Katherine." Blair's whisper was very quiet. "It's the only thing he's ever wanted."

"Who? Chakotay? Blair?" Getting no response, she shook him then slapped his face.

Ellison, deep in communion with the newborn, didn't seem to notice that his Guide was dying.

"Blair Sandburg! I order you to live, do you hear me? You are not leaving me with this man and baby to take care of!!!"

There was no answer. When she glanced up, Katherine saw that Tom Paris was crying.

"Duty done, all is returned to the state from which it came." Janeway had to suppress a sob as she spoke the last words of the ceremony. Normally the Sentinel's family patriarch would have performed this part of the ritual, but Ellison had asked her to do it. After a pause, a moment of silence that stretched on, she stepped forward and hit the button on the incinerator that Tom had designed just for this occasion. It wasn't exactly the way things were supposed to be done, but, as with all things Sentinel, the Voyager crew was making it up as they went along, melding old cultural laws with modern times.

There was a bit of sniffling in the crowd that had gathered, which surprised her. She'd thought they were all over that.

The flames roared high and then died to a brilliant glow. She stepped away, back to Chakotay's side. They had decided that tonight they would start trying. It seemed a good time; things were relatively calm, this was a day to be remembered in some positive way. They were opting for a completely natural means of conception. If after a few months it hadn't worked, that was time enough to ask the doctor for help. It wasn't like they'd mind practicing as much as they could.

His arm slipped around her and she shot him a scolding glance, but they were off-duty and it wasn't like everyone didn't know already.

Baby Kathlyn's howl broke the comfortable silence, and soon another joined it, proving that she had woken Shane as well. Leaving Chakotay to watch the burning finish, she worked her way to the other side of the room, where the Sentinel was standing, bent over his Guide, who was trying to quiet their fussy son. At four months Shane had quite caught up to the growth charts and promised to surpass them soon, promising an adult size to rival his massive Sentinel parent. And Blair, only now beginning to walk more than a few feet at a time after his protracted, painful recovery, was looking more like his old self. His hair had almost recovered from the mistreatment it had received, and his eyes were once again sparkling, vivid and alive.

Shane hushed almost immediately but Kathlyn continued her noise until Harry, looking flustered, produced a bottle and began to feed her.

"She's a little pig." Tom announced proudly.

"Takes after you." Blair said affectionately.

"Odd ceremony, this." Tom tickled Shane under the chin and the baby gave him a solemn Ellison-stare before breaking into Sandburg-like giggles.

"At home it would have been the placenta and amniotic sack." Ellison said. "To signify to the Gods that we were grateful for the service they had done for us."

"But to burn the Au?" Tom shook his head and adroitly accepted the baby when Harry handed her over, propping her on his shoulder and patting her back expertly.

"Believe me, there were lots of things I wanted to do to that infernal device, and burning it was high on the list."

"Just below disintegrating." Janeway suggested as she stood beside them, watching the interplay.

"Perhaps an old-style Klingon disruptor would have felt more satisfying." Blair smiled at her and she could see again that young man that had bounced into her office, it seemed like a century ago, and she was again relieved that she hadn't destroyed him by pairing him with Ellison. "But this suited out purpose."

"I'll see you on the bridge tonight, Lt." She told Ellison, turning away. Calm or not, there was always work to be done on Voyager.

"My first duty rotation is tomorrow." He reminded her, and she grinned.

"Just testing."

"Bad, Katherine." Sandburg shook his head, and she wondered that she allowed him to call her that. "It's not nice to tease the Sentinel."

"You should know." She retorted as she left. They laughed behind her.

But, really, if anyone did know what was and wasn't nice for a 24th century Sentinel, it would be Blair Sandburg.

"Is he asleep?" In the larger bed they had requested, to make room for the active baby that frquently shared it with them, Blair Sandburg rolled over onto his side and gazed up at his Sentinel with sleepy eyes. His hair was all over the place, frizzed and tangled from sleep, face lightly flushed.

To that Sentinel he was beautiful. More so than any woman he'd ever seen.

Ellison knew Sandburg would laugh and tell him that it was just the bond talking; since Shane's birth they'd been more tightly bound than ever. And, paradoxially, freer as well. With the bond completed there was no need to be in constant contact, no desperation. Desire came frequently and easily, and it just tied them closer together.

"Come to bed." Stretching out an arm and using the other to push down the covers, Blair made the invitation Ellison had expected.

They made gentle love most nights, holding and touching, using hands and mouths. The Guide had been too badly hurt by the birth to consider anything more.

But it had been months. Shane was turning over now, a little early, his premature birth hadn't slowed him down a bit. And Ellison's body had begun again to clamor for the deep contact, the physical joining. that would lead to the full mental merging he craved.

He climbed into the bed and pulled Sandburg into his arms, holding him perhaps more tightly than was nessecary.

"I wonder sometimes what it will be like when he grows up." He spoke quietly, and felt the apprehension in his Guide's mind. "The planet of his birth; of his race - will be forbidden to him. He'll never get to meet my mother or father or brother or cousin."

"I know. I'm sorry. He'll have many other worlds to claim, though, and earth will always be his true home." Blair sighed and snuggled deeper into the embrace.

"I want him to have those things that I earned; my home, my lands, my name. I want him to meet the people I love."

"I don't know how we can do that."

Half-sitting, pulling Blaor up with him, Jim smiled. "I am the latest-bonded Sentinel in our history. I may be the strongest Sentinel ever. I say that without pride because that's your doing and not mine. You were the one who wouldn't give up."

"I couldn't just let you die."

"I love you too." Hugging him hard, Ellison made the decision that had been so long coming to him.

"You tease me about the bond, and the hormones. I know you still believe that I only love you because f them." Very quiet words, holding the smaller man tight so he couldn't get away, couldn't avoid them.

"It's a logical conclusion." A swallow, and strong male hands clutching him breifly. "I don't mind. It's like, this is the way it's supposed to be."

"No it's not. I should love you for the person you are. Brilliant, compassionate, generous. Not only as my savior."

Sandburg snorted.

"That's a funny way to put it."

"It is only the truth."

Regretfully Ellison released him, pulled away and turned over on the bed. They were both nude. The infant Sentinel needed lots of skin-to-skin contact to be happy. It was what made him such an easy baby. Jim had told Tom and Harry that and they'd tried it with their fussbudget, and she seemed as calmed by it as Shane was.

"Jim?" They so seldom used first names. Was that odd?

"I want to trade roles. I want to prove to you that I love you and it's not just the bond talking, or the baby. That I love your square shoulders and your big hands and your hairy chest."

"Jim!" He sounded scandalized and seemed to be moving away.

Ellison listened closely, his eyes shut casually, senses extended. But Blair was blocking, undoubtedly worried about how his reaction to those words might be interpreted.

"I love your dick and the way it pulses right behind the head, I love the way your neck statses when you're 'turned on' and sweaty, I love how deep your voice gets when you want me to touch you.

"Jim." Blair groaned, touching his back, putting his hand there, so hot, and pressing down.

"I love the curve of your ass when I'm inside you and the way the muscles of your thighs clench when you come. I love the sting of beard-burn when I can feel it underneath my uniform all day long." "Tell me you really want this." Blair's weight on top of him, his heat mashing Jim down, pushing him and his feirce erection into the soft bed. "Tell me you want me to do this."

"I really want this." Jim spread his legs and lifted his ass, feeling the dick that lay against him, so hot and hard and needy. "I want you."

"By the Gods." Blair seemed unable to speak further. He went to his knees, his fumbling hand found the lubricant they kept beside the bed, and his fingers were slick and cool when they entered his Sentinel's body for the first time.

While Sandburg prepared him, as carefully and tenderly as was possible, Ellison kept talking. He said a lot of things he'd been meaning to say. He rambled a bit, but thought that was okay. The important things got said, too. And he told Blair, his Guide, about the contest that was held on his planet and how he'd always dreamed of winning it and joining the ruling council and how if they did that then no one would be able to deny him, or Shane, or any of them all the rights they were entitled to as citizens of that planet....

Then he stopped talking and started moaning, about the same time Sandburg started growling, and then there were no sounds at all except breathing. And that was shortly interrupted by a baby's indignant cry as he woke and found himself not in his parents' bed where he's fallen asleep, but in the seldom-used and much-hated crib in the other room.

But he was back in the bed soon enough.

End