Author's webpage: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Nook/5175/Sentinel.htm

Author's disclaimer: Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, William Ellison belong to PetFLy, Paramount and SciFi. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just for some friends.

Author's notes: I have to thank MoonShadow for beating this. The dogs are lent by Kim. Their real names are Gypsy and Whisper.

Professor Sandburg II

It was strange how a disaster could change the way you look a things, Blair mused on his way to Jim's apartment. Some weeks ago, he hadn't been sure about his feelings for Jim. But when it seemed he may lose him, he'd realized how much he loved the older man. All his doubts seemed ridiculous next to the specter of Jim's death.

When Jim was released from the hospital three days after his heart attack, he had asked Blair to hire a nurse. But Blair would hear of it. He declared he was perfectly able to take care of Jim. Jim didn't resist as the idea of having Blair fussing over him made him incredible happy. Blair had moved into his apartment - just to help Jim recuperate, he had assured his patient - and played Florence Nightingale.

Blair spent almost all his free time with Jim. He constantly monitored his condition, afraid that he would suffer another attack. The attack had been mild but had been a warning best treated with respect. Blair wished he could force Jim to obey doctor's orders. The older man was stubborn and downplayed the seriousness of his condition. As much he liked to be pampered by Blair, he didn't want to seem like a weak old man in front of his younger lover. Jim received a lot of flowers, gifts and get well cards. He talked to his friends on the phone when Blair was at the university. He used the phone because he didn't want to see anybody. He told his friends that he felt too tired for visits but, in reality, Jim was guarding not his own health but his own private heaven with Blair.

When Blair entered the apartment, the maid was just leaving.

"Hi, Monse! How's the patient doing?"

"Ah, Seor Blair." She rolled her eyes and winked at him with a smile. "Smoking otra vez." She made a movement with her hand like holding a cigarette.

Blair sighed and went to the bedroom. He found Jim reading the newspaper in bed. He crawled on the bed and kissed him soundly.

"How is my favorite man doing?"

"Starving! I thought we could cook something Italian, what do you think?"

"Sounds good."

"My brother is coming over to talk business for a while."

"Your brother?"

"Steven. Have you seen the headlines?"

He held the newspaper in front of Blair. The headline read "Fraud investigation deepens at Ellison Enterprises".

Haskil's fraud had become a public relations disaster for Ellison Enterprises. The scandal affected the whole company. Blair was very glad that the contract hadn't been legal and he didn't own the factory. He didn't care a bit about the damn business. The only thing he wanted was for Jim to rest. He slept at Jim's side and tried to coddle him on every occasion possible. He bathed and shaved him, they ate breakfast in bed and Blair cooked Jim's favorite dishes. The younger man didn't mind a bit that Jim was not up to sex yet. He knew the medication would prevent any activities.

Blair snatched the newspaper away.

"I'll read that later," He stated when Jim started to protest, "Hold me a while. My students gave me a hard day."

Jim smiled and cradled Blair close. "Did you notice every time I do something you don't like, you try to bribe me with something sexual?"

"I do what I can," Blair mumbled against Jim's chest.

Jim laughed. "I'm not complaining."

"Good." Blair shifted in a more comfortable position. "Because all I have to offer is my youthful body."

Jim laughed out loud and squeezed the heavy bundle in his arms.

"How about a roman pizza, hmm?" He whispered into Blair's curls.

"With tuna fish?"

"Whatever you want."

"Okay."

Blair got up only to find that Jim had already made the dough ready to be spread with Blair's favorite ingredients.

Stuffed with pizza and red wine, they snuggled on the bed and watched the news. The last weeks had been the best of Jim's life.

They really got along surprisingly well living together. They had a few arguments about bathrooms and tidiness. Blair had managed to spread the few belongings he had brought all over the apartment. But Jim could easily overlook this since they loved the same things and seemed to have similar habits.

Jim loved it and enjoyed every minute of it, even when his recovery left him unable to have sex and left them simply snuggling in bed. He obsessed about the idea of living with Blair for real but he doubted that the independent professor had any interest in playing house with a clingy, burned out businessman. Maybe a vacation together would change the younger man's mind? He decided to ask casually.

"How about we go to the Riviera? Monte Carlo?"

"It would be cold in October, man. If I ever go to the Riviera I want to be able to bake in the sun and swim."

"It's nice in October. It is still sunny and you can bathe if you are brave."

"Let's go to Hawaii instead," Blair suggested.

"We could sit in street cafs and make out. Walk on the beach hand in hand. And shock the waiter when he brings us the breakfast in bed." Blair chuckled at Jim's romantic ideas. "I want to show you off. Look! Here I am walking with my arm around my beautiful, young lover." Blair snorted. "Pretty girls looking for an old millionaire will bat their eyelashes at you but you're mine." Jim sucked gently at Blair's lips. "And we could stay up all night, sleep till noon and then we make love, long and very sweet."

"Yeah, dream on. I really don't see why we have to fly all the way to France when we can do the same here. Now, for example." Blair smiled seductively at Jim.

Jim sighed and snuggled at Blair's shoulder. Sleepily, he toyed with Blair's chest hair and nipples. Blair squeezed him hard. Jim tried to seduce him and Blair wasn't sure if this would work.

"You have to finish this."

"No problem," Jim murmured.

It was a problem but Jim thought he could go through with it. His doctor had warned him that his medication and exhaustion would prevent any sexual activities. But he didn't want to disappoint his younger lover again. He turned on his stomach and Blair began eagerly massaging and kissing his back. He buried his face in the nape of Jim's neck and nipped and sucked at the strong muscles. The older man's skin was very sensitive there and he wiggled and moaned. Blair's hand wandered lower over the spine, down to the crack of his ass. When he brushed over the opening, Jim yelped.

"Don't go anywhere!" With a hard final bite Blair reached to find lube and a condom in the nightstand.

He prepared Jim and slid on top of the larger man. Jim raised his ass invitingly and Blair pushed in. He searched for Jim's cock but Jim caught his hands and held them close to his chest. Blair pumped him with slow, long strokes. This was heaven. Blair had missed the powerful feeling of making love to Jim. He picked up speed and when Jim cried and bucked under him, he came.

For some time he just laid there slumped over the strong body, sweating and panting. After a while, he snuggled back next to Jim who hadn't moved. Blair fell asleep with a happy smile on his face. Jim slowly turned around after he was sure Blair was out. He hadn't come. In fact, he even hadn't even gotten hard. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. How long before Blair would find out and would go looking for someone else?

Jim decided to call his brother to tell him about Blair. For weeks now he had been keeping his happiness private and finally, he wanted to share with someone close.

"Hi, Steven, how's the family? Everything okay?"

"You tell me! You scared me with this heart attack thing. How are you feeling now?"

"Better. Much better."

"Good. You sound happy. You got lucky in Hong Kong, didn't you?"

"No," Jim answered sounding annoyed, "I'm seeing someone."

"Seeing someone? In Cascade?" There was a silence. "What does Dad have to say about that?"

"I care a shit what Dad says about it!" Jim barked angrily into the phone.

"Calm down, calm down will you? It's just I have to hear about it endlessly from Dad when you turn up with yet another guy half your age who will break your heart." There was a pause. "This isn't another ballet dancer or football star?"

"No, he isn't. Do you want to hear about him or not?"

"Sure, tell me about the lucky man."

Jim rolled his eyes. "He is professor of anthropology at Rainier. He is bi, not married or anything. He supervises the new wing we support. We met and I invited him to diner and, well, that was it," Jim rushed.

"You dragged this professor you've just met in your apartment?" Steven asked incredulously.

"No! I drove him home, he couldn't find his car and then he asked me if I wanted to come in to see his collection of tribal masks."

"Tribal masks, couldn't find his car. Well that's a new spin on the old line. You are completely nuts. He could have blackmailed you till you bled."

"He didn't."

"What is he doing now while you are ill?"

"He's moved in to take care of me."

"Moved in? How long has this been going on between the two of you?"

"A couple of months."

"Months? And you didn't tell me? I thought we were brothers." Steven sounded genuinely disappointed.

"Don't tell Dad," Jim pleaded.

"I'm not suicidal. Are you sure it was your heart and not your brain that was damaged?"

"Steven!"

"What? It's only a matter of time before you two will get in trouble."

"Blair and I are careful. But to tell the truth, I'm sick of hiding. I want to live with him and his dogs and cat. I love him and I want to marry him."

Steven was silent. He was very worried that his brother was going to be hurt again. "You sound pretty serious here. How does he feel about it?"

Jim sighed. "He loves me and he is not afraid of being out, but I don't think he wants to live with me. He is rather independent, lives for his research, goes on expeditions."

"I want to meet him." 'And scratch his eyes out if he is only using you.' Steven thought.

Jim grinned. "I thought you would. When I'm better, okay?"

"All right. See you, bro."

Steven did his best to run the business smoothly but with Jim gone and the investigation hanging over their heads, an internal power struggle began. Various groups thought it was the right moment to make demands. Jim didn't leave the apartment but was on the phone every minute Blair was gone.

The next time Blair made love to Jim, he noticed that Jim was pretending to be aroused. He felt betrayed, used by the older man. Shaking he leaned back from the trembling body under him. He didn't know this man at all. How could do Jim something like that? Without saying a word he stood up and got dressed.

"Where are you going?" Jim asked.

Blair's calmness scared him. He sensed he had destroyed what was the most precious to him. Blair couldn't find the words to express his inner turmoil.

"I better go home before I say things I might regret."

"Say things? Like what?" Jim asked desperatly.

"I trusted you and I thought you trusted me! You let me think you were okay! What, did you think I wouldn't notice?" Blair's voice rose.

"I wanted to make you feel good." Jim retorted defensively.

"I don't want to feel good if it means you aren't okay." Blair was yelling now. "Don't think I don't know that you are running your office from here. And you didn't even consider to quit smoking." Blair grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the nightstand and threw them across the room. "If you did what the your doctor had ordered, you wouldn't need to put up this charade!"

"Blair, please!"

"I'm outta here."

"No, Blair don't go like this!"

Jim scrambled out of the bed and slipped hastily in his robe. He followed Blair into the hall. When Blair didn't stop, he gripped his arm. Blair shoved him off.

"You start looking after yourself and I'll come back!"

"I knew that this was coming! I can't get it up and boom, you're off to chase coeds."

Blair turned red with anger. "Keep it up Ellison," He warned, "And I won't be back." He grabbed his cat. "Mindy, Flap!"

He stormed out and banged the door behind him. Jim slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor in agony.

"Blair! Shit!" He whispered brokenly.

Blair hid out in the university for several days. He was angry and at the same time he was questioning if he hadn't pressured Jim into the pretense of health. Then he remembered Jim's unwillingness concerning his health and he became angry again. He promised himself that after a few days when both had calmed down he would go to Jim and make peace with him.

He hadn't heard a word from Jim when 10 days later Jim's secretary called him in his office.

"Mr. Sandburg. I think you want to know that Mr. Ellison had another attack."

Blair gripped the phone desperately, trying to sound calm. "What happened? Where is he now?"

"He is in Cascade Hospital. He hadn't asked about you but I felt you might want to know." She said in a cold voice that belied her concern. "He is in room 403."

"Thank you for telling me."

Blair informed his assistants and stormed out. On his way to the hospital, he pondered the call from the secretary. She had disapproved him in the beginning and had little done to hide it. Later he had found out that she was just fiercely protective about her boss. Obviously she didn't regard him any more as a threat to Jim.

When he reached Jim's room, a tall, blond man was coming out. The man reminded him a bit of Jim. He looked curiously at Blair, hesitated, then asked, "Aren't you Mr. Sandburg?"

Blair nodded and shook the proffered hand.

"My name is Steven Ellison. I've seen a picture of you and Jim at the track. Jim's told me a lot about you."

He smiled at Blair who was slightly puzzled. Jim almost never talked about his family with him.

"How is he doing?"

Steven looked back to Jim's room and shoved Blair down the hall.

"I think it's mostly my fault. I should run the business without consulting him but I needed his help. Jim overdid it and I didn't stop him in time. He had quit smoking cold turkey. The withdrawal made him crawl up the walls. I think he hasn't been sleeping at all."

Blair felt a pang of guilt. If he only had kept his big mouth shut. He had practically driven Jim to this.

"Can I see him now?"

"Sure, I think he'll be glad to see you."

Steven left with a promise to come again tomorrow. Blair peered through the door.

"Come in." Jim winked.

Blair went in. "I think I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have run out on you."

Blair stared at the pale man. Jim scrambled up and with determination he tried to save what was left form the relationship with the man he loved.

"Forget it Blair. I was a idiot. I thought... I don't know what I thought. I just did this to make you feel guilty, you know. I thought 'I'll have another attack and Blair will come see me to assuage the guilt'," Jim explained with a rueful smile.

Blair smiled and reached out to ruffle Jim's hair. He was immediately soothed by the humble apology of the proud man.

"Your secretary called me and told me what happened."

"Really?"

"What happened to her? If I didn't know better, I'd suspect she is beginning to like me."

"I think she does. She had asked me if I will spent Christmas with you or the family."

"Really?"

Blair sat down in the nearest chair and grabbed Jim's hand.

"This is like a kind of deja vu."

"I'm sorry," Jim said with a small voice.

They were silent for a while, both trying to find a beginning.

"Will you come back?" Jim held his breath.

"I've never left you. I thought about you all the time. The dogs miss you. I don't spoil them like you do. I don't know why I got so angry. It wasn't the sex thing. I can understand why you did that. It was just the tip of the iceberg." Jim nodded encouragingly and Blair continued. "I began to see that you weren't taking care of yourself and it meant to me that you didn't really care about us, what happened to us, that you were throwing your life away," Blair said sadly.

Jim felt miserable when he realized how much he had hurt Blair and how close he had come to losing him.

"So what are gonna do we now?" Jim asked hesitantly.

"You are going to get better and this time I'm in charge."

"Okay, I have no problem with that."

"We going to leave Cascade and go take a holiday somewhere. And I swear I'm going to rip the telephone out of the wall if you start doing business again."

"You'll stay the whole time with me?"

"Sure, I need to keep a close look at your ass."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere warm and sunny, with a beach. Lots of nature and fresh air."

A week later they flew to Hawaii where one of Jim's relatives had a beach house. It was a white cube with two walls made of glass tucked inside a tropical garden with a little private beach.

Jim spent most of his time sleeping. He got up early for a light breakfast and read the newspaper. Then he took a little nap until lunchtime. After lunch, it was a siesta in the hammock. At night they watched TV together. Blair swam, read and explored the neighborhood on his bicycle. He quickly tanned nut brown and developed a trim athletic build.

Sometimes he snuggled next to his sleeping lover during the day just to be close to him. Jim cradled him close, enjoying the fresh smell of sun and saltwater on Blair's skin.

Blair loved it. They were completely isolated in the beach house. He was amused that Jim could sleep all the time. He had joked that Jim had probably been a cat in his former life since he could sleep 16 hours a day. Jim had explained to him it was the best way to avoid thinking about smoking or his job. He looked adorable napping, limbs splayed, arms stretched over his head, lightly snoring.

When Jim felt better, he accompanied Blair and the dogs to the beach and watched the three water rats. Flap, Mindy and Blair made a mess in the house from bringing in so much sand inside.

The days were perfect but at night Blair became tense sleeping next to Jim. The vacation had restored his energy and reawakened his desire. He had a constant hard on around Jim who was still far ready for any sexual activity. Blair did the only thing he could - he took care of his own needs when Jim wasn't around.

Unable to sleep again, Blair slipped out of bed and wandered to the other side of the house to jack off in one of the guest bathrooms. Jim woke up when Blair left as he had the last four nights. When Blair returned and snuggled back under the covers Jim decided it was time to say something.

"This is stupid," he said calmly.

Blair was caught by surprise. "I don't want to bother you," He stammered.

"It bothers me that you go to jack off in the bathroom in the middle of the night."

"What am I supposed to do? You're giving me a hard on that would cut glass. I can't sleep."

"So stay," Jim offered.

"No way, man. I feel weird doing it alone. With you watching and being unable to do anything, it would be as if I were using you."

"I understand that you don't want to pressure me." Jim rubbed his hand over his face and listened to the soft surf outside. "I accept and respect that you are proud, that you don't want to feel like a kept man, like some mistress. But this is ridiculous. How do you think I feel making you sneak off like some teenager?"

"That's not the problem!"

"Well then what is the problem?"

"I feel like I'm using you."

"How? You won't take any money because you think it means you're in debt to me somehow. You don't want any expensive gifts from me. You give love but you have problems accepting love as a gift. You think as long as we're even, you can walk away any time with a clear conscience."

Blair was silent. Jim had hit home. All his relationships had failed because of it. He liked to take care of people but had trouble accepting love. He knew deep inside him he yearned for somebody to be there for him no matter what. Still, he couldn't stand being mothered.

Blair turned over and snuggled against Jim.

"I'm so sorry."

Jim squeezed him. "Just think about it, Blair. I don't want you to do anything that doesn't feel right for you."

"Let me hold you."

Jim rolled over and let himself being held through the night.

The next day when Blair came from swimming in the afternoon, he slipped out of his Speedo's and crawled into the hammock where Jim was napping. He was dripping wet and his skin felt cool. He rubbed his groin against Jim's thigh.

"You want me help out? I've got an itch."

Jim ran his hand over Blair's body, delighted. "Really. Sounds serious. Where does it hurt?"

He licked the salt from Blair's face and suckled at the wet hair. He fondled Blair's balls until he squirmed.

"Doc, I feel so bad, I need a cure."

Jim stroked his rapidly hardening cock. "How does feel that?"

"Fucking fantastic, don't stop!"

Jim brought Blair off with patience and skill in the softly swinging hammock. They slept together until Flap decided he wanted into the hammock too and jumped at the top of them.

The days went on and Jim recuperated considerably, got a tan and looked every day more like a Greek god. Blair couldn't get enough of watching his body. He had gotten a wonderful bronze tan and his very short hair had bleached to almost blond. Best of all, his blue eyes had their old fire. Jim wasn't exactly shy about showing off either. Until then, they'd seen each other naked only in bed or in the bathroom. Seeing his lover napping on the porch he stood still and let his eyes wander over the muscular body. Jim somehow sensed him and opened his eyes. Caught, Blair said the first thing it came to his mind.

"How about a barbecue?"

"Great." Jim was hungry.

Blair prepared the grill while Jim watched him from his deck chair. The younger man wore cut off jeans which were bleached and very soft. They barely covered his assets. Jim mused that they were little more than a waistband and a fly. With Blair's tan, his blue eyes looked pale. His mop of hair had bleached too and the tight curls stood out from his head at weird angles. He hadn't bothered to shave and looked pretty wild. Like an escapee from the stone age.

Blair bent over to fan the coals and Jim got an excellent view of his ass peeking out from under the shorts. Jim really wanted to explore that part with his mouth, shove his dick inside, or better yet, have Blair ravage him. He moaned and Blair turned around with a plate in one hand, spatula in the other and a devilish grin on his face. Jim shoved his fingertips up inside the shorts, stroking over cock and balls. Blair gasped and almost dropped the dish.

"I see you feel a lot better." He nodded at the bulge in Jim's boxers.

Putting plate and spatula aside, Blair opened his fly and the shorts fell down. He stepped out of them and crawled hungrily on top of Jim. He shoved Jim's robe aside and pushed the big man's boxers down. Aligning their cocks, he rubbed himself over Jim who moaned helplessly. It drove Blair wild and he kissed and nipped at everything in reach. Jim felt like he was drowning under the rough coupling. The heavy body pressed into him, the coarse body hair tickling over his oversentizised skin. Jim jerked uncontrollably under his lover. Blair latched on the panting mouth and drove his hips hard into the willing flesh. Both men quickly came to orgasm. They exploded against each other. Blair slumped over Jim, sated and boneless.

"We are going to be glued together," Jim reminded him.

"Don't want to move," Blair mumbled.

"My little savage," Jim nuzzled the curls.

As Jim began to feel really recuperated, he wanted to take part in Blair's activities, especially swimming. He had watched with envy as Blair frolicked in the waves.

"Okay, last on the beach has to cook dinner," Jim growled.

Blair was already in his Speedo's. He didn't seem to wear anything else these days. With only one leg in his own trunks, Jim called after the running Blair.

"You are going to regret this!"

When Jim reached the beach, Blair was already in the water with Flap and Mindy. The dogs had found a piece of wood and were toying with it. When Jim reached Blair, he splashed him with water.

"Wait!"

Jim lunged for Blair who squeaked and jumped away. Jim fell into the water. He came up gasping.

"You look like a drowned rat!"

"Look at yourself."

Jim swam to Blair elegantly. They stood next to each other in the chest deep water. Jim ran his hands over Blair's body, rubbing at the soft cock. Blair giggled and wiggled away.

"C'mere!"

Jim kissed his wet lover soundly. Blair's arms went around Jim's neck and he wrapped his legs around Jim's waist. Jim walked them into the deeper water. The sensation of Blair's body against his own was wonderful. Blair kissed him.

"Come on, let's swim to the sand bank."

They swam over to the submerged bank and sat down in the knee deep water, back to chest. The soft waves pushed and tugged gently at them.

"I wished this would never end." Blair smiled and stroked the arms which held him. "When do we have to go home?"

"Don't think about it."

"Classes start soon."

"I know, I know. But we can always come back here."

They watched Flap rubbing himself in the sand.

"I wonder if I will ever get out all that sand out of his pelt."

They spent every free moment on the beach, jumping around in the waves. Jim loved to grope Blair under water. Cold, wet and slippery Blair was exciting. Blair squeaked and struggled, never really trying to escape. Standing in the deep water they clutched at each other and kissed endlessly. Blair could for once ignore the height difference as he wrapped his legs around Jim' s waist and had free access to his mouth.

When the tide was low they swam to the sand bank and sat. Jim cradled Blair in his arms, back to chest, talking and teasing. Often it ended in a mock battle. Tackling and dunking Jim had become Blair's favorite sport. And the older man let himself be manhandled willingly. It turned Blair on to overpower his stronger lover and the water and the fresh air made him incredible horny. In the end, he usually chased Jim into the house and bent him over any available surface to take him hard.

Two weeks later they returned to Cascade with heavy hearts. Not much had changed in their absence. Blair returned to the university. Jim spent his time in his office. Steven had moved back with his family to Cascade in the meantime. He made a point to issue an invitation was visiting Jim. He found that he was beginning to like Blair and the effect the young man had on his brother.

"My brother has invited us to dinner," Jim said toying with Blair's curls which were spread over his belly.

"Us?" Blair mumbled around the mouthful flesh he was chewing on.

"Yeah, what do you think?"

"Sure why not?"

"Next Thursday."

Blair was a bit nervous about it although he had already met Steven and Jim's younger brother obviously liked him. They drove together to Steven's house. Steven was already waiting for them and welcomed them at the door. Sandra, his wife, smiled brightly as she greeted Jim and Blair. Still, the two sensed she was awkward about them. They went into the house and she led them to the living room.

"I'm glad to meet you. I've heard so much about you." She smiled shyly at him. "And I have to admit you don't look really gay at all," She praised, convinced it was a compliment.

Blair's face froze. Jim glanced worriedly at his brother who only rolled his eyes.

"Well, I don't look really Jewish either. What did you expect, lipstick and high heels? You can't see on the outside who we love." Blair's voice was stern and serious.

The woman paled and looked like she was going to cry. Jim reached for her and led her into the next room and maneuvered her to the sofa. He sat down next to her and held her hands.

"I'm sorry Jim," She groaned, "I don't know what is with me lately. I didn't mean it."

"I know."

"I really tried. I wanted..."

Jim stroked gently her back and drew her into his arms. She was on the verge of crying.

Blair was stunned, he didn't understand what was happening. Stephen steered him immediately into another room.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it that way. What's with her?" Blair asked.

"She's depressive and has mood swings. And I think she drinks too much."

"What do you do about it?"

"I try but I can't seem to get through her. I think she is simply unhappy with her life."

Blair felt bad. He had been with Jim's family less than five minutes and had already offended everyone. Steven and Blair stood in silence listening to the low murmur in the next room.

"Who are all of these?" Blair looked over a large collection of photographs of family members on the mantelpiece, glad to find something to change the topic.

Stephen, also relieved, explained them all to Blair. "...and these are Jim's kids."

"His kids?" Blair squeaked.

Stephen nodded. "There is a third. Well, I suspected always it isn't Jim's but he nevertheless acknowledged her."

"Where are they now?"

"They live with their mother in Switzerland. The oldest is nineteen years old now, I think."

Blair was completely shocked. Jim had never said a word about having children.

"I wasn't nice what you had said. It sounded like we had some disgusting illness." Jim scolded his sister in law.

"I know!" She whined. "I hurt you too, didn't I?"

Jim squeezed her.

"I didn't mean it, Jim."

"I know."

"Do you think he'll forgive me?"

"I'm sure he is very embarrassed that he'd snapped at you like that."

She got up. "He must think I'm hysterical to run off like that." She tried to save her make up and went out. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Sandburg. Please forgive me?"

"Sure, I have to apologize, I was so rude."

"I really wanted to meet you and now I have ruined everything. I'm so sorry, Mr. Sandburg."

"Call be Blair, please. And why don't we begin from the start and forget everything. What do think?"

"That would be great I really like your new friend, Jim."

She hugged Jim enthusiastically and grabbed Blair cheerfully and towed him in the dinning room.

"I've made something special. You have to tell me if you like it."

Blair was shown the house and garden while they waited for the dinner. Blair's head was spinning about what he had heard before and he was only politely paying attention. When they were alone for a moment, Blair couldn't hold back any longer.

"Why didn't you say something about having kids?"

"You never asked."

Something he heard in Jim's voice made him stop to make a sharp reply. "Do you see them?"

"No. I have no contact with them. It was the deal with the divorce. She got the children and I left them alone. In return, she wouldn't bring up the gay thing." There was a resigned sadness in Jim's voice that Blair had learned to hate.

Blair gripped the older man's hand and squeezed it. Life was cruel. He'd love to have kids. Jim had three but didn't share their lives. They stood for a while in the front of the fire place, both caught in their own thoughts about what had gone wrong in their lives.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. After Blair had figured out how to handle Mrs. Ellison and ignore her moody comments, he enjoyed himself. Steven's eldest son joined them at the dinner and they talked about schools and colleges. Blair took the opportunity to observe the two brothers. Steven had a much more balanced personality than Jim, yet he looked very much up to his elder brother. Jim, on the other hand, seemed to be very protective about his brother and his family. When Steven Jr. had asked Jim bluntly if Blair was his newest boyfriend, he had admitted it grinning. The young man regarded it as ultra cool that uncle Jim had caught such a cute professor. Jim had blushed adorably and Blair wanted immediately to kiss him silly. They left in a good mood.

The next afternoon when they sat on the couch in Blair's home, Blair asked about Jim's own family.

"What happened?"

Jim snorted. "It was one of my biggest mistakes in my life."

"Why did you marry her? I mean..." Blair shrugged.

He didn't want to say it. Why would a gay man marry a woman? Jim sighed. Blair could see that he didn't want to talk.

"I wanted what everybody wanted. A normal life. A family, children, a little house with a white picket fence and a dog. I was convinced I could do it. She seemed to be perfect. Pretty girl, good family, good education, perfect wife and mother. I told myself I loved her but I loved the ideal she presented. We married and in the beginning everything went well. I mean I was attracted to her." He explained after he saw Blair's questioning look. "The children came and I felt like the happiest man in the world."

"What happened?"

"I found out that she was seeing someone. When I confronted her, she told me that I couldn't expect her to sit all day at home with the kids."

Jim was silent for some time, lost in the past memories full of pain and disappointments.

"Go on."

"Well. I tried to be a better husband, spend more time at home but she wasn't interested. She told me that our marriage was out of convenience and a good arrangement for both sides. Although she was pregnant again she told me she wouldn't mind if I had a mistress somewhere. She only expected me to be discreet about it. After that I didn't bother anymore."

"You never told her about being attracted to men?"

"Never. I thought it was something from my misspent youth. Something I've left behind me." Jim toyed with his glass of beer. "Then an old friend of the university came back to Cascade. I felt down and empty and he was there. She caught us one day and everything exploded in my face. It turned out she was a closet homophobe. We divorced and she got custody of the children. She left Cascade immediately after and went to her sister's in Switzerland. She threatened to out me, make a big scandal and ruin me if I didn't leave her and the children alone. There was nothing I could do."

Blair snuggled at Jim and squeezed him. "Must have been hard."

"Probably the worst times of my life. She sends sometimes pictures to my dad. To my dad!"

"Steven told me the oldest is 19. In a few years, you could be a grandfather."

"I'll show you a grandfather! And if I have to remind you, you'll be grandpa too, sort of." He added shyly.

"I'd like that."

Jim gave him a grateful smile. He felt drained after bringing up all this painful memories. He wondered how Blair might feel about it having a lover with almost adult kids. Maybe someday he would have the guts to come out of the closet and his ex wife wouldn't have power over him anymore. Blair watched the mixed emotions on Jim's face. His children would want to see their father sooner or later of their own will. He hoped for it.

Sunday mornings were the best. After long, hot sex, they had a big breakfast, read the newspaper and watched TV. Often things got out of hand and they spent hours just groping each other on the couch.

One particular cold Sunday, they lounged around on the couch. They had decided to stay in and just be lazy. Jim was playing with Blair's chest hair. He tickled him with his toes while pretending to read the Financial Times. Blair squeaked and laughed seductively, looking up from his book.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

"Well, you are the anthropologist. What does my behavior tell you?"

Blair grinned lazily. "Okay." He drawled. "Let's see..."

The doorbell rang. Jim got up and went to the door. His father stood outside. He greeted his son warmly before brushing right by him and heading straight for the living room. Blair was trapped and looked up nervously, silently pleading with Jim for help. Jim himself was still taken by surprise. The older Ellison stared curiously at Blair who stood there sheepishly dressed only in his gray, silken robe.

"Dad, may I introduce you. This is Professor Blair Sandburg, he is teaching anthropology at Rainier University," Jim said stiffly.

Blair offered his hand and smiled politely, taking refuge in good manners. Mr. Ellison shook the proffered hand.

"Nice to meet you. You supervise the new wing at Rainier, don't you?" The old man said conversationally.

"Yes, I do. Nice to meet you. Now, I think I'll leave you two alone." Blair made a fast escape.

Mr. Ellison walked slowly over to the couch and sat down with a sigh. Jim sat down in the chair next to him. He was mildly surprised at his father's casualness about Blair's presence.

"So what brings you over?"

"It's your Aunt Elena. She has cancer. She has called me yesterday. I wanted to tell you." The older man explained quietly.

"Is it bad?"

"They say six months."

"Oh." Jim looked down at his bare feet. "How's Jerome taking it?"

"He's broken. What do you expect? I'm going to visit them next week. I think she wants to see you too."

"Okay, Dad."

"Jenny is pregnant."

"I know. You told me last week."

"It's a girl."

"I know."

Mindy, the black dog, came over and laid his head on the old man's knee. He started to scratch her behind her ears.

"Is this your dog?"

"The dogs are Sandburg's."

"Nice dogs. What's your name?" He said to the dog as if she could answer.

"Mindy." Jim answered for the dog.

"Do they live here?"

"No. They live with Sandburg."

"Nice dogs. They are well kept. You can see that."

They were quiet for a while. Mr. Ellison poked with his cane into the carpet.

"I'm going to visit Aunt Elena."

"You said so."

"You should go too. She always liked you when you were a kid. Bring your dogs. She likes dogs a lot."

"Sure, Dad."

They were silent.

"How do you feel, Dad?"

"I should ask you that, Jimmy."

Jim looked around in his large room. "I'm doing well. I'm looking after myself."

"You should take care of your health. Nothing is so important as your health. Did you quit smoking?"

"I'm trying, Dad," Jim said patiently.

"I like the dogs."

"I can see that." Jim did understand the implication.

"I have to go now. I want to meet some friends."

"Okay, Dad. It was nice of you to tell me about Aunt Elena."

Mr. Ellison walked back to the door. Blair came out of the kitchen fully dressed.

"Good by, Mr. Ellison. It was nice to meet you."

"You have nice dogs."

"Thank you." Blair said, puzzled.

"Jimmy. We are going to have dinner with Stephen, will you come?"

"I'll see."

"Okay. By Jimmy... Mr. Sandburg."

Jim closed the door behind his father. Blair let his breath out.

"Man. Your dad is really cool."

Jim walked into the kitchen for coffee.

"Did he knew about you?" Blair made a vague gesture.

"He always knew."

"What did he say about it?"

"We never really talked about it. We never really talked about anything."

"So he is okay with it?"

"No. But it wasn't about being gay itself. He was just always worried that it might ruin my life. He was so scared that I'd get ill or be killed, that someone might blackmail me or out me to take revenge. When a friend of him got murdered and robbed by a rent boy, he kind of freaked."

Blair nodded understanding. "Did he say anything about me?"

"He likes your dogs very much."

"Is this good?"

"It means probably that he would be very excited if you were female." Jim grinned. "But I can't agree. If you were a woman, all this fur would be gone."

Jim opened the buttons of Blair's shirt and slipped a hand in to play with the soft hair on Blair's chest. Blair smiled and tugged at the belt of Jim's robe to let his hands wander over the hard body. He cupped the genitals in his hands. Jim moaned. He quickly opened the rest of the buttons and shoved the shirt back as far as he could. The feeling of Blair's strong hands on his balls was sweet torture making his toes curl. He opened the fly, pushed the jeans down and drew the smaller man against him. Blair bit him in the collarbone and Jim arched against him. Blair grabbed deftly and massaged the muscular butt. He pressed Jim's hip against his belly and undulated against the larger body. Jim threw his head back as a deep, growling sound rose from his chest. He kept Blair's shoulder in a hard bruising grip.

"Want you," Blair grunted.

He steered Jim to the kitchen table and pushed him against it. He pressed the older man down on the cold, hard surface.

"Oh, man!"

It was exactly the right height. Blair quickly removed lube and condoms from the pocket of the jeans that were hanging around his ankles. He gently prepared his wantonly spread lover. Jim grinned looking both silly and very aroused. Doing it on the kitchen table! At his age! Blair entered him gently with one of Jim's legs over his shoulder and the other around his waist. Once in, he rested for a moment, stroking Jim's chest.

"So good, baby," Jim whispered hoarsely.

He arched on the table, the cords of his neck standing out. He gripped hard at the edges of the table besides Blair's hip.

"There is more."

He started to thrust. The table shook and slid with every hard push.

Jim laughed. "We should do this with a table on wheels."

"What?" Blair was lost in the sensation of possessing the big body.

"You're just a little distracted, aren't you?"

Blair clamped his fingers around the edges of the table over Jim's head, leaned forward to get more leverage and rammed hard. Then he rotated his hips, massaging Jim's passage. He followed this with another hard thrust. Jim was reduced to inarticulate grunts and blissful surrender. He writhed on the slippery surface made slick with his sweat. His leaking cock was trapped between them and rubbed over Blair's hairy belly. That alone made him crazy. The table swayed dangerously from the heavy weight of the two men moving frantically. Soon they had pushed the table all the way to the wall and Jim needed his arms to keep his head from banged against it with each stroke. Blair had his eyes closed and sweat was running down his body. He pumped faster and harder. He climaxed suddenly, spasming on top of Jim, who followed him. Blair slumped exhaustedly over Jim who stroked his hair tenderly. When his soft cock slipped out, he groaned against Jim's chest. He pushed back and stared down at a rumpled and sated Jim. A soft smile spread over his face. He bend forward and nuzzled the chest again. He sighed a heartfelt sigh.

"What, hon?"

"I wished this would never end."

"Me too."

Blair let go and slumped down to the floor. Jim couldn't get up and just tried to relax and catch his breath. Blair, unhappy that Jim was out of reach, grasped one of Jim's legs and snuggled it.

"You have long feet," Blair observed drowsily.

"Yeah, big feet."

"No. Long, slender, beautiful. Like your cock."

"Thanks." Jim grinning at Blair's compliments.

Later, Blair brought something up he had been planning for a while.

"Jim. I want to ask you something."

"Now I'm worried. Do I need my lawyers?"

Blair laughed. " I need to go to a conference and my usual pet-sitter is on vacation."

"You want me to keep an eye on the dogs and the cat for you?" Jim was astounded.

"Would you?"

"Sure, baby, you don't have to ask. You know I love your flea bags."

"You are such a romantic!"

"When and where is the conference?"

"Houston, next week. It's a big conference and I'm going to meet a lot of friends."

"Ah, I see. That's why you don't want me to accompany you!"

Blair cuffed him. "Yeah right. And do me a favor, don't spoil the animals completely."

Jim snickered.

Jim came with his limousine to bring Blair to the airport. Blair was already waiting in front of the house with his bags and the pets. Jim got out of the car to help him but Blair waved him back, threw his stuff on the back seat and climbed in. Jim studied the house with a thoughtful expression in his face.

"You left the stove on?" Jim said absently.

"Nope, don't think so. Let's go!"

"Are you sure? I can hear water boiling."

Blair stared at him as if this was a weird joke and he was waiting for the gag.

"Jim, nobody can hear that far. Maybe you hear something from the neighbors' house."

Jim snorted and left the car. He had not planned to reveal his heighten senses to Blair but he couldn't let the house burn down just to avoid an explanation. Jim walked up to the house, an exasperated Blair one step behind him. Convinced that he could prove his error to Jim, he unlocked the door and went in. Now he could hear it too. A pot with water was boiling. He'd wanted to prepare another cup of tea when a phone call had distracted him. He looked up at Jim's face with a stunned expression.

"How did you hear that?"

Jim squirmed. "I have heightened senses."

"You should get yourself checked, Jim. Really." Blair was very worried that this could be a tumor or schizophrenia.

"I have already. Don't worry."

"What did they find?"

"I've heightened senses. I've had them all my life. I'm not crazy or anything." Blair looked doubtful. "Really." Jim laughed nervously. "I've got the medical records, everything is documented."

"Do you have any idea how extremely rare this is? I did research on a subject like this when I was still a student. I have documented people with heightened senses."

Jim shifted closer, intrigued. Blair studied him, still not sure if he should believe him. The likelihood was astronomical. He'd always hoped to find someone like Jim on one of his expeditions and now he had the real thing in front of him. A shocking thought occurred him. They were wasted, these marvelous senses were wasted. Jim didn't use them for anything except perhaps for business negotiations to read the intentions his opponents.

Blair reached out and gently stroked Jim's cheek. The older man leaned into the touch and kissed the palm.

"How do get along with them?"

"When it gets too bad, too much stress, I take medication."

"Drugs?"

"Nothing serious. I'm not stupid. You know, it might sound strange but since I've known you they are getting stronger again. It always happens when I'm happy and relaxed."

"Did you have a lot of problems with them?"

"No. Most of the time they are dormant."

"Can I do some tests?"

Jim sighed dramatically. "I think, I can do that for you. If...," Jim grinned evilly. "If I get some compensation for the stress."

"I'm sure we can work out something." Blair smiled a sexy wolfish grin.

The flight was long and Blair dozed restlessly, his mind wandering over the fact that he had found a living sentinel after all. He was going to study him but immediately realized that he couldn't publish his findings without making Jim a target of unwanted and potentially dangerous attention. To publish research about some backwater tribe was one thing. To publish about a well know business man another. It would have to be a post mortem publication. That thought made him uneasy and he shoved it aside.

At the airport, Blair run into Margie, one of his oldest friends. They tried to squeeze each other to death and took a cab to the convention hotel together. She was a cultural anthropologist like Blair and had once been like a mentor for the younger man. After checking in, they joined the others who had already arrived early in the dinning room.

"Let's go raid the buffet!" Blair said.

"I shouldn't eat too much. I have to watch my diet." With that she patted her stomach.

"You look fine. Not to worry."

"Don't say stupid things like that. You are a guy, you don't have to care worry about your good looks. Wait until you're reached my age. Then the insecurities will begin and you'll hate your mirror."

Blair laughed. "You will always be beautiful."

She smiled affectionately at him and gave him a playful punch. "Did I tell you I'm going to be grandma in December?"

"Wow. Congratulations!"

They were halfway through the buffet line when a thin man approached them. Margie greeted him and introduced him to all her friends. Stapleton nodded to all but smirked when he heard Blair's name.

"Uh huh, just that Blair Sandburg, who's so accommodating to Mr. Ellison, the sponsor the new anthropological wing at Rainier." He sneered.

Blair looked at the man. The others stared in surprise at Blair and Stapleton.

"What are you saying?"

"I say it's amazing what today's professors are willing to do for financial support. Like letting themselves be fucked by some old fart."

"I beg your pardon." Blair was barely containing himself.

Stapleton shrugged and left with a malicious smile. There was a embarrassed silence. Margie broke the ice.

"What did you do, Blair? Steal his girlfriend?"

Everyone laughed.

"Man, I think this guy has some serious problems." Blair tried to be nonchalant.

"Do you know him?"

"No, man. No clue." Blair was puzzled.

"He's a bone digger down in New Mexico."

"I think he had dug out one bone too much and the sun got him. Fried his brain or something. Perhaps he was a little too isolated at his last dig."

It was an old joke between them. Blair could see that his friends hadn't really bought what the man had said about him. He didn't care very much for himself. Anthropologists had weird liberal ideas about humans anyway. But he wanted to protect Jim. He couldn't stop thinking about what the bastard had said about him in public. Jim needed to know about this guy. Maybe he could advise Blair what to do. He excused himself and went to call Jim. The sound of Jim's voice was welcome.

"How are they doing?" Blair asked after his pets.

"I'm laying here with your cat draped over my neck and the dogs have taken up the spot where you usually sleep. At first everything was okay. They didn't miss you. But after a while they realized that you wouldn't be back anytime soon. Since then they've been kind of glued on me." Jim chuckled. "How are things there?"

"I had a not so nice encounter with a weird guy. An archeologist by the name of Stapleton. In front of all my friends, he accused me to sleeping with for you for money."

Jim was speechless.

"Do you know the guy? His name is Stapleton, digs for bones in New Mexico."

"No, doesn't ring a bell," Jim answered.

"But how does he know about us?"

"Maybe he don't know and is just shooting in the dark."

"He said it as if he knew." Blair sounded doubtful.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I mean I was shocked. My friends didn't believe him. He's an odd guy. Nobody likes him." Jim was quiet on the other end of the line. "This scares me, Jim. Who is he? Why is he doing this?"

Jim tried to calm him. "Call me if you find out anything more. Maybe some of your friends can help you out, ask him a few discreet questions, probe him a bit."

"Okay. I'll call you. Kiss the pets for me."

Blair hung up. Jim looked at the receiver and shook his head. Blair was obviously very worried. The young professor should be able to handle a situation like this. After all, a university was a battlefield.

Blair went to Margie and asked her to find Stapleton and grill him. Margie got a gleam in her eyes. She liked the idea of spying for Blair.

"But you gotta tell me about this Ellison."

"There is nothing to tell. He's a friend." Blair sighed.

"C'mon. Don't lie to me. I know you. Is it serious? You are in love, right? You got this happy, puppy dog look." Blair gave her a hard stare. "You got a picture of him? I want to see it. And I want to hear some real smut."

Blair rolled his eyes. "Women! I have a magazine with an article about him."

Blair reached in his bag and handed her the magazine. "Page 32."

She eagerly searched through the pages. She made big eyes when she saw the photograph of Ellison.

"This is the guy? Who's screwing you? I'm impressed!"

The shots were taken by a excellent photographer who had caught Ellison's ambiguous personality, letting him look much more interesting that the usual boring businessman.

"Really?" Blair asked shyly.

"He's tall, right?"

"6'2 and all hard muscles. You don't think he is too old for me?"

"Nah. Some men are like good wine. They get better with age. Is he nice? Does he treat you well? He looks like a dangerous man."

Blair smiled at all her questions. "Very nice, he's my baby."

She grinned at him. "You top?" She pinched him.

"Uhm. Not always." Blair blushed.

"Okay. I'll go and find this Stapleton freak. Don't worry, Blair."

Blair thanked her and slid the magazine back in his bag. He had to talk with Jim about this. He needed to know what they were gong to do if someone outed them.

Blair was nervously pacing his room when Margie knocked. When he opened the door, she breezed in with a triumphant smile.

"Okay, spill it! Tell me!" Blair sat on the bed, legs folded under him.

Margie let herself fall on the bed.

"He is only making noise, Blair. He was once part of a project that didn't get support from Ellison Enterprises. He has no clue about Ellison or you. He's only heard that you got the support for the wing at Rainier. Maybe he had heard about one of your flings with a guy but nothing more than that."

Blair sighed in relief. The phone rang.

"You have to tell me everything, oh man." Blair reached for the phone. "Hello."

"Blair?" Jim was on the phone.

"Jim, man! Margie is just here. Turns out this Stapleton knows nothing. He's only making this up."

"Nobody believes his story." Margie said loudly in the background. "And he is leaving tomorrow morning. Gone for good."

"You heard her. That bastard." Blair was angry.

"Glad to hear that, baby. Say thanks to your friend for helping. I'd like to meet her some day."

"Sure, Jim. I call you later back, okay!" In Blair's voice was a sweet promise.

Margie grinned. Blair made a face and winked at her.

"Bye!"

Margie made herself comfortable on the bed. She dug out a large pack of photographs from her huge bag.

"That are the snapshots from Fireland. Dennis made them. By the way, your last words reminded me to call him and give him a few hot thoughts." She waggled her eyebrows at Blair.

Blair laughed. Margie was almost as old as his mom but was still a frisky thing. She had spent most of her life in the wilderness studying tribes.

When she asked him to accompany her to a trip to a dig nearby he couldn't resist. He called Jim.

"Hi, hon. It's me again. I wanted to ask you something."

"Go on, spill it."

"Margie wants me to go with her to a dig. It's for two weeks, what do you think? Can you take care of the pets for two weeks?" Blair asked.

Jim hated the idea and knew if he objected, Blair would dutifully skip the trip and return to him. Nevertheless, the younger man would start to miss the work in the field and it would put a strain on their relationship.

"No problem. You know they like me. I'm going to miss you. You're going to have to work hard to make it up to me when you get back."

"You betcha. Lots of rain checks." Blair purred into the phone.

He was relieved when Jim didn't argue with him but he sensed Jim's unhappiness. He swore to himself that he make Jim forget that he had been gone.

The dig was a blast. Blair slogged around the whole day in the mud with a brush. He freed some bones and artifacts from the dirt of centuries. It took hours to excavate the little pieces. His back ached, his knees were sore, his shirt stuck to his skin from so much sweating. He felt great. Chatting away with his colleagues and students, he forgot time and place. Blair stayed three weeks and at the end felt 10 years younger. He had missed the company of a woman. He had always felt more comfortable around women than around men with their macho bullshit, probably because he'd grown up only with a mom and not many men around.

Jim was waiting for him at the airport. He almost didn't recognize Blair. He was once again tanned to a nut brown and wearing a colorful shirt and sporting a beard. Jim covered his mouth in shock when he saw the wild, hairy thing waving at him. Blair had a lot of luggage in tow full of books and artifacts and immediately shoved it at Jim.

"God, were is this all from? You left only with one bag!"

"Oh, man, Jim! I missed you! I have some much to tell you." Blair grinned up to his lover.

Jim grinned back. "I've missed you too."

Desperately wanting to kiss his lover, Jim hurried them out to the parking lot were Charley was waiting. They stowed everything in the car and Jim pulled Blair in the limousine with him. Blair grabbed his head and kissed him soundly. The beard scratched and Jim rubbed his itching skin when Blair let him go.

"Does it tickle?" Blair grinned.

"Are you planning to keep the beard?"

"Don't you like Bear-look?" Blair challenged.

Jim held his breath, he'd been never into bears and searched for a diplomatic answer. "It itches like hell and my skin gets inflamed. I'm sorry."

Blair laughed. "Don't panic! I didn't plan to keep it. It was just that shaving was a bit difficult out there. I wish I had a camera to capture the look on your face when you saw me!"

Jim smiled and stroked over the rough beard. It was thick and dark, very male.

"You look like Robinson Crusoe. All you need is some ratty clothes and an island."

Blair pinched him and laid another kiss on Jim making sure to shove the beard all over Jim's face.

When Blair had shaved and his beautiful face was visible again, Jim sighed in relief. He was going to make love to Blair, claim him back. Somewhere deep inside him was a possessive man and Blair was his. Jim lead Blair to the bed and placed him in its center.

"Time to collect on that rain check."

Blair wiggled expectantly on the mattress. At night in the camp alone in his sleeping bag, he had dreamed of Jim. Sexy and sweating, begging for more.

Jim crouched over him and studied the body he had missed so long. The untanned skin appeared very soft and vulnerable next to the brown limbs which had been exposed to the sun. Jim ran his fingers along the tan lines until Blair moaned. Jim was different today, not pliant and passive like he had always been. Blair shivered, feeling the older man's need mark him, to take back what was his. Slowly, Jim sank down on top of Blair to let him feel his weight, then he slid down to nuzzle his way down to his nipples.

Jim worried the nub with his tongue and palmed the other. Blair arched and grabbed his pillow hard. Jim was a master at slow seduction. He knew exactly when he had to draw back and when to increase the teasing. He worked all over Blair's body, every spot got his special treatment. Licking, kissing or biting. Blair observed him silently from half-lidded eyes. Sometimes Jim looked up and gave Blair a smoldering glance that made Blair groan. By the end, Blair was jelly and felt like he was floating several inches off the mattress. Jim took pity and took him gently. Lying on their sides, he cradled the pliant body close to him and pumped slowly and deliberately. All Blair could do was making grunting noises of pleasure. Time became unimportant and he ceased to care how long it took. The older man had a lot of stamina when it came to slow sex. Blair loved how Jim was able to reduce him to the consistency of molten wax in his arms. As much he got off fucking Jim hard, possessing him, he enjoyed the loving and tender way Jim made love to him when he was in a relaxed and introspective mood. He felt special then, loved.

Blair looked up from his desk at the sound of the door opening.

"We want to discuss something with you."

It was like a bad movie. Three men in dark suits had occupied his office during lunch break and were offering something they thought he couldn't refuse.

"A friend of our has a vested interest in a new business deal Ellison Enterprises is about to make. Our friend's interest requires that the deal does not succeed."

"Why are you coming to me?" Blair asked.

"Don't play dumb, Dr. Sandburg. You are very close to James Ellison. We want you to use your influence him. Get him to drop the deal."

"And why would I do this?" Blair snorted sarcastically, already knowing the answer.

"Because then we would not find it necessary to use some photographs. Interesting subjects in these photographs. I believe you recognize yourself and Mr. Ellison."

Blair feared for a moment they had gotten nude photos of them. But the envelope tossed on his desk contained only pictures of the two of them leaving Jim's house in the morning.

"It would damage your career, wouldn't it? And think of the effect on Mr. Ellison. Think about our proposition. We'll call you."

They left a stunned Blair behind. Blair took the pictures with a shaking hand. They'd been taken from a great distance but were sharp enough to identify them clearly. He didn't understand why they hadn't got more intimate shots but then he realized that the pics were from the previous morning. This blackmail was not an organized attempt then, but more of a spontaneous action, maybe even a last ditch attempt. He hadn't seen Jim since then. They hadn't had a chance to get pictures of anything better.

Blair canceled his appointments and hurried to his car. He made a beeline for Jim's office.

"What's up, Blair?"

Blair threw the photographs on Jim's desk. Jim held them in his hands. Blair paced in front of him and tried to find the right words.

"These assholes walk into my office and tell me they will send these to the newspapers unless l 'encourage' you to drop some business deal."

Jim turned the pictures around with a frown.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"Nothing," Jim announced calmly. He felt sick.

"But they are threatening us!"

"Blair, calm down. I've been blackmailed before. I can't back down. I just can't," He whispered thickly.

"But they are serious. Aren't you afraid?"

Jim sighed. "Stuff like this happens all the time. You wouldn't believe what goes on in the business world. Cold war, really. Besides it isn't completely my decision. I can't back out of this deal without a reasonable explanation."

Blair sat down and put his head in his hands. "So what if they do it? Publish these, I mean?"

"We hide from the press until they get bored. You better bring all your necessary stuff from home. You may be here a while."

Jim had made hiding into an art form. Something he had done all his life until the point that he didn't know anymore what his real persona was.

Blair looked up. "You are serious."

"Yes. Maybe nothing is going to happen but it's best to be prepared."

"Okay. I'm going home to pack right now. I love you, babe."

Blair leaned over to steal a kiss from his lover. He left the office deeply scared.

Jim called his security chief and his brother. He didn't like the situation at all. But he didn't want to show Blair how much he was concerned. In a twisted way, he wished it would all came out and the secrecy would finally be over. He didn't want to hide any more. He wanted to live with Blair - mess, pets and all.

Blair chewed his lip and worried as he drove home. Their relationship would ruin Jim sooner or later. Blair had to laugh. At least it wasn't illegal to sleep together. Things could be worse; in some countries the death penalty was the punishment for homosexuality. All they would face was prejudice and hate.

Blair packed some clothes, went through his schedule, canceled some appointments and called his friends to ask if they would be able to take over classes, just in case. He fervently hoped that even if his face appeared in the news, it would die down and be forgotten after the next scandal. He carried his bags into his garage.

One of the thugs stood there grinning.

"Planning a little trip out of the country, Blair?"

Behind him stood another man and the third was waiting in the car in front of his house.

"Can't let you leave, pretty boy."

He nodded at his companion. The guy grinned and stabbed a knife into one of the tires on his car. Calmly he destroyed the other three wheels too.

"You see, we are determined to put a stop to this deal."

"What the hell are you talking to me for?" Blair asked angrily. "Mr. Ellison won't do it. You better go home and tell your 'friend' to live with it."

"It's most unfortunate that you see things that way. We may have to resort to other methods to make you reconsider." He smirked at the other man.

The second man stroked a large hand over Blair's cheek. Blair jerked back.

"It would be disturbing if the police were to receive a tip that you were in possession of drugs or, say, pictures of little boys in your house or your office. What do you think Mr. Ellison would do then?"

"No one would believe it." Blair tried to stand up straight and seem larger than he was but his voice sounded scared.

"I don't think you understand. I think it's necessary to impress the seriousness of our intent on you. I wonder if you still have a tight ass."

He came closer. Scared, Blair turned and ran into the house. The men laughed and followed him. They pushed at the door he'd slammed.

"C'mon, pretty boy," the second man jeered in a mocking tone. "I'll make you like me, sweet cheeks."

Blair ran up the stairs, grabbed the phone and pulled an ceremonial African club from the wall. He slipped into one of the overstuffed wardrobes. Desperately, he dialed 911 but got only automated response. Shit! He could hear the front door breaking in.

He pressed Jim's speed dial number.

"Jim, Jim they're coming after me. I'm at home. I can't reach the police!" He whispered into the phone.

Someone was entering the room. He held his breath. When the door of the wardrobe opened, Blair screamed and attacked with the club. The man jumped back.

"Mr. Sandburg!"

It was Johnston from Jim's security team.

"Oh, my god! Did I hurt you?"

Blair ran to the window only to see that the black car and the men were gone.

"They drove off when they saw us coming. Two men."

"There were three of them. I think one of them had been in the house."

Johnston signaled his men to search the house. The phone rang and Blair jumped. With a shaky hand, he pressed the button.

"Hello?"

"Blair! Blair, are you okay?" Jim was out of his mind.

"I'm fine. Johnston is here, he scared them away. One guy said something about hiding drugs or child porn pictures in my house or office. I think, I think... the one wanted to... shit!"

He gave Johnston the phone. Blair's legs gave out and he hit the floor.

"Man. I've never been so scared in my life!"

Johnston spoke with Ellison and then turned to Blair.

"Mr. Sandburg, we're going to take you to Mr. Ellison's father's house. We better search your office immediately. What about the house? Have you seen anything unusual in the past few days?"

"I don't think they could have gotten inside with the dogs around."

Johnston nodded. "We better take a look around. Then we'll take you to Mr. Ellison."

"Okay. They've ruined my car's tires. I've got most of my stuff downstairs already."

They left the house after a brief search. With all the stuff in his usual disarrayed, it was difficult to say if anything had been disturbed.

William Ellison's house had a top of the line security system. A bodyguard stayed with Blair at all times. Blair felt awful after all what had happened.

William Ellison decided to drive to Jim's office when he had heard about the threat.

Two hours after they had delivered Blair to safety, Johnston brought a little package to Jim's office. He let it drop on Jim's desk.

"We found it behind a mask in Mr. Sandburg's den. Cocaine. I suppose it isn't Mr. Sandburg's?"

Jim frowned at the package.

"These people are serious. We need to protect the rest of the family. I want everyone to know about this. Get as many men as you need. In two days, the deal is should be signed and sealed."

"Even if we protect everyone, they can raise Hell selling those picture to the press," Johnston pointed out.

"Do what you can."

Johnston nodded and left to make the necessary arrangements.

"Jimmy." William entered the office and closed the door behind him.

"Dad? What brings you over? You heard the news?"

"Yes. I thought we should talk a bit." With a sigh, the older man sat down.

Jim groaned internally. He could guess what this was about. He had waited for this confrontation for a while now. He was ready to defend his grounds, at any cost.

"Let me guess - you are here because of Mr. Sandburg?"

William Ellison studied his son. He liked Sandburg and thought he was a far better choice than some young, wimpy beauty with a dubious past. The professor was a strong, independent man with his own successful career. When he had turned up at Jim's side, William had immediately employed a private investigator to check out the young man. What the P.I. found had surprised the older man. Sandburg was a successful, dedicated researcher, respected by his colleagues and adored by his students. He had no bad habits or debts and did very well financially with his books and publications. There were no hidden secrets in his past. He had dedicated his life mostly to his work. He had only a few long-term relationships with women. At first, William had guessed that perhaps Sandburg and his son were only friends and that his son had a crush on the attractive professor. The surprise visit one Sunday morning had left no doubts when he found Sandburg only wearing a silk robe and a very embarrassed smile. He could understand Jim's interest in the younger man. He was very good looking, brilliant and friendly, and he dared to take on Jim and stand up for himself.

When both men became more careless about hiding their relationship, William began to worry. A lot of people wouldn't accept Jim's alternative lifestyle. He could easily become an outcast in the business world. It was the Kiss, Don't Tell rule. As long Jim was discreet, everything was fine. Yet, since his son had become sick, he'd started to question his attempts to interfere with Jim's relationships. His son deserved some happiness in his life and William didn't want to lose his son. He'd seen too many die before their time due to stress and overwork.

"What are you planning with Sandburg? What if things come out?"

"We stay together no matter what."

"Are you really serious about it?"

"I am and don't think you can do anything about it." The words were a clear threat.

William Ellison sighed. Sometimes his son scared him. The cold, controlled rage he was capable of made him a very dangerous man. He knew that Jim had made up his mind and would fight to the end everybody who stood in his way.

"Are you with me or against me?"

"I'm not against you." The older man answered neutrally.

Jim gave him a calculating look.

"Will you leave Blair alone?"

"Listen, Jim. I like professor Sandburg, I won't hurt him in any way. He is welcome in my family."

Jim stared at him. His father had always resisted against any of his attempts to have a long term relationship. simply because it could out him. Obviously his father had accepted Sandburg as part of his life and was ready to face the up coming scandal.

"What are you planning to do?"

"I don't know. Buy time?"

That night after endless phone calls trying to find out who was behind this, they drove together home to William's house. Blair was waiting. What had happened earlier had scared him badly and he was a ball of anxiety. Jim hugged him immediately, not caring that his father was there.

"I thought... when you didn't answer the phone...I was really afraid."

Blair pressed himself against Jim. Somehow, he felt safer now that Jim was there. Jim had a grim expression on his face. He was ready to take up the fight, Blair realized.

Father and son discussed the business deal over dinner and Blair understood only half of it. He frowned as he considered the possible ways out of the situation.

"Why don't we stay a step ahead of them?" Blair asked.

"What do you mean?"

"What do they have to hold over us? They have pictures and they have the press. So what happens if they go to the press? They tell a dirty little story and the press eats it up. But...what if we out ourselves? We can't hide forever anyway. We'll take away their ammunition but we'll do it on our terms."

"How?" William asked.

"The business deal is finalized in the afternoon, right? Jim and I visit the opening of the new wing at Rainier together as a couple the day before. There's bound to be lots of press coverage."

William definitely looked unhappy. Jim's grin lit up the room.

"I like the idea," Jim said.

"And then we go take a holiday somewhere far away until everything has died down."

William sighed but wanted to be loyal to his decision. "I don't have a better plan. It's your life. You have to decide, Jim."

"One day, Blair, I'll make you a honest man." Jim promised with a sweet smile.

William rolled his eyes as Blair gave Jim a smoldering glance. After dinner, William played with the dogs and Blair and Jim retreated to Jim's old room and snuggled on the small bed.

"When you called, I can't tell you what I felt. What if I had lost you? God, Blair."

Jim clutched his smaller lover and shook.

"I was so scared. I think one guy wanted to... hurt me."

Jim searched Blair's frightened face. "Rape you?"

"Yeah." Blair's voice was small and hoarse.

"When you left this morning, I got this uneasy feeling. I don't know why. That's why I sent Johnston after you."

"And he got there just in time."

"They found cocaine in your office."

Blair raised his head. "What?"

"Calm down. Johnston found it and will give it to the police."

"This could have ruined me."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Just hold me and don't go away."

"Never."

The next evening was the opening of the wing that had brought them together in the first place. Blair found it appropriate. He would never forget their first meeting when he had suddenly realized that Ellison was interested in him. Their first awkward night together seemed so far away now. They drove to the university together with a cadre of bodyguards. Press would be there as the university wanted to make it a big event. They stayed close to each other, holding hands. The head of the anthropological institute gave a speech about the new wing and one of the older professors presented a lecture about the pieces of native art that would be part of the exhibition. Jim, who was representing Ellison Enterprises, had been asked to speak too. Jim made a small witty speech about the importance of supporting art and science. He smiled down at Blair over his half glasses.

"This wing is of special importance to me. As some of you know, it was because of this endowment that I made the acquaintance of professor Blair Sandburg who supervised this exhibition. I am very happy to say our partnership has extended into our private lives and that we are now partners - life partners. "

A murmur went through the auditorium. All heads turned to Blair who blushed furiously and ducked in his seat.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you for your kind attention and I invite you to tour the new wing." Jim grinned and stepped aside.

A few people applauded hesitantly. Jim walked back to Blair who seemed rather flustered.

"It was your idea!" Jim teased him.

Blair shot him a bemused look and continued to blush a deep scarlet color.

The head of the institute and the dean made a point to find Blair after the speeches were over.

"You could have said something!" The dean practically hissed.

"I don't see why my private life has anything to do with the university," Blair said coldly.

"Please! Private life my a..." The head of the institute elbowed the dean, stopping him mid-sentence.

Flashbulbs went off as Jim returned to Blair's side. When they stepped out of the hall, reporters were immediately in their faces.

"How long have you been together?"

Jim stayed calm. "Several months."

"What does your family have to say, Mr. Ellison?"

"They are happy for us."

Jim answered all the questions politely and with composure. He had tucked Blair close to his side. He could tell the younger man definitely felt overwhelmed by all the attention. But Jim was accustomed to dealing with the press and was, to Blair's envy, cool as a cucumber.

The next day, Jim drove to his office for the last meeting where the final contracts would be signed. Blair stayed with William. He looked after the dogs who had been spoiled rotten by yet another Ellison. Jim left the office not sure when he would return and what would be waiting for him. He didn't really care for the first time in his life about his job. The next day they flew to Hawaii together. There hadn't been any more trouble. Jim was worried that the danger wasn't over with yet but he didn't tell Blair about it. Whoever was behind the threats wasn't likely to forget that they had lost.

"How do you feel?" Jim asked.

"Weird. You?"

"Relieved, like some great weight has been lifted, a weight that has been there my whole life. I feel free. These last few months, this hiding had eaten me up. I never could have done it without you, you know. I never would have had the courage."

"I feel like I've stepped through a mirror into another life." Blair smiled. "I don't want to go back. You are my life now. You knew this much earlier than me, didn't you? You have been sure from the beginning about us."

"I always expected that you wouldn't stay. I knew you liked me but I was pretty sure you didn't want this life."

"It scared me in the beginning. Too many obligations and responsibility. But now I've figure out that I found out that I can hide from it behind you." Blair's eyes held a wicked gleam.

Jim grinned and kissed him.

After a few weeks in Hawaii, news of Jim's Aunt Elena's death reached them. They immediately flew back to Cascade. Blair had met her once when he had accompanied Jim on one of his visits. She had liked him instantly, hugged him and called him a pretty boy. Jim had stood in the background and grinned watching the two of them charm each other. Uncle Jeremy was less thrilled about Blair's presence but he didn't want to upset his wife who had obviously Blair taken to her heart. It had meant a lot to Jim that she had accepted Blair and he grieved genuinely over her death. She had been the good soul of the family.

The funeral was early in the morning at the old Cascade graveyard. Most of the Ellisons were buried here. The whole family would be attending and Jim was nervously pacing the bedroom like a panther in a cage. This was their first appearance at home officially as a couple. It was one thing that his closest family members and friends knew of his relationship and quite another to live as an openly gay man with his lover. He had made their commitment to each other public and now he was scared.

"How do you feel?"

"Shitty." Jim growled and tried to tie his tie. "I'm going to miss her."

"I know. Let me help you." Blair tied it effortlessly. "How about a bear hug?"

Jim slung his arms around him and buried his face in the wild curls. He wished he didn't have to go. He wanted to hide somewhere with Blair and make love to him for hours.

Charley drove them to the funeral. When they entered the church, most of the mourners stared at them curiously. Some looks were less than friendly. William and Steven and his family greeted them warmly. They slipped next to them in the pew. Jim was in an inner turmoil partly from grieving, partly from the prospect of having to return to a normal life. Blair was completely tuned in to Jim. He barely noticed the sermon. All sensation was reduced to the cold hand that was gripping his fiercely.

Later at the reception, a lot of the curious family members and friends walked over to them to take a closer look at Blair. Steven and Steven Jr. hovered protectively at their sides. Most of the family were surprisingly cool and relaxed about it. To Blair's relief, several even invited them for visits and treated Blair like they would have treated Jim's new wife. Rucker, one of Jim's cousins and a huge guy, almost crushed him against his chest when he hugged him.

"Way to go, Jimmy. You caught a good one!" He slapped his cousin on his back.

Rucker dragged them over to the buffet and shoved a dish loaded with lots of food in his hands.

"What are you thinking, Jimmy boy? You're letting the man starve. He is only skin and bones."

Jim snickered as if this was an old, obscene joke between them. He punched Rucker playfully and both men grinned at each other. Blair found that they resembled two naughty boys at that moment much more than two men in their late forties. They swapped stories about their latest adventures and Jim relaxed considerably. When Blair stood looking a bit forlorn next to them, William approached him.

"It went better than I thought."

"It seems so."

"Have you two already decided where you going to live?"

Blair was surprised. "Not yet. I don't want to live in an apartment with the dogs and Jim can't bring himself to move in with me yet. We are going to look for something new. With a huge garden for Flap and Mindy and a big kitchen for Jim."

Listening from a distance, Jim grinned.

That night when they laid snuggled together in bed in the dark, Jim brought the subject of the house. He had been a bit surprised at Blair's statement to his father. They hadn't discussed it and Jim had always assumed that Blair would never give up his own home.

"Do you really want to buy a house for us?" He turned to gauge Blair's expression in the dark.

"Well, we can't go on like this forever." Blair turned too and propped himself on his elbow. Jim was a huge lump in the dark to his eyes. "Living in two places, I mean. Although I'd like to have a beach house," He said dreamingly.

"Where?"

"Where what?"

"I mean where, which country, which beach?"

Blair cuffed him. "I'm serious."

"I am too."

"Okay, let's forget the beach house for now. I'm thinking about a house with a nice garden with big, old trees. Big enough for my clutter and your collection of antiques. It has to be a reasonable distance to the University and not some pseudo Palladio palace with awful white columns."

Jim grinned. "No palaces, gotcha."

The prospect of playing house with Blair was pure heaven. It would be a real home for both of them. And even when Blair wasn't at home, he would be present somehow.

"So what you do you think? I sell my house and we throw in together? We could keep the apartment if we want to stay in Cascade," Blair suggested.

"We'll find something. I want to take the time to find the right house for us."

"Okay. I'm not in a hurry or anything. Besides, the packing job alone is enough to make me cringe."

Jim chuckled. It made him cringe too.

After a lengthy search, they had finally found a home that they both liked. Next month, they were going to move. Blair had never imagined how complicated it was to renovate a house. When he had heard Jim argue with the painter about the right shade of white for a wall, he had realized to better leave it to him. In the end, he even didn't want to hear about anymore when he found out that Jim had ordered catalogues from France for the borders of the curtains in the kitchen. Of course, it turned out beautifully and was at the same time comfortable and homey. Jim had incorporated Blair's artifacts and native art so the house didn't look as sterile as the apartment had been.

They found themselves invited soon again to a family reunion. One of Jim's nieces was going to get married. She was adamant that Jim and his S.O. had to attend the wedding. She had always had a crush on her handsome uncle and adored Blair.

The wedding was in California. Blair and Jim flew down and stayed in a romantic hotel. The wedding ceremony was in the early afternoon in a small chapel and afterwards, the guests drove out to the bride's parents' mansion for the reception. The bride hugged all her friends like she would never see them again. She practically clung to Jim and whispered urgent words in Jim's ear about never letting Blair go. Jim promised her.

Blair looked absolutely stunning in his Vivienne Westwood suit. Jim had wanted to buy him one since they had met to accentuate Blair's romantic male beauty. The suit matched his long brown curls and huge blue eyes and complimented Westwood's flamboyant sensibilities. It was a double breasted, light blue velvet suit. The high tallied jacket was as tight as the pants, with long rows of big shining buttons. It went with a white pirate shirt with a large fluffy bow. Blair felt silly dressed up like a peacock although he admitted in front of the mirror he was dressed to kill. His remaining doubts disappeared when he saw the hungry look in Jim's face. If it turned Jim on to dress him up, he would certainly enjoy the undressing and ravishment that came later. Hell, he would wear a grass skirt and stick a bone through his nose if it made Jim hot.

Blair drew a lot of strange looks at the party but he didn't care. He felt giddy thinking what he was about to do and nothing in the world could spoil his mood. He only had eyes for Jim. Jim sensed the weird mood Blair was in and was uncertain what was up. He hovered protectively until Blair asked him to go for a walk.

"We could walk down the back road to the river. There is a boat house."

"Sounds good. I need to move before these buttons pop off. I've never eat so much cake in my life." Blair patted his stomach.

They walked along the country road. It was a hot, sunny day. The grass was yellow and the road dusty. Blair stopped and took a deep breath, then he reached for Jim's hand and entwined their fingers. Jim was curious about what was coming. He sensed the seriousness of the moment.

"I wanted to ask you if you would marry me? When it's legal...some day..." Blair murmured uncertainly.

Jim was frozen in shock. Blair smiled at him hopefully and all Jim could do was nod. He turned his head away to hide his overwhelming emotions. Blair squeezed his hand. A lump had formed in his throat when he saw that Jim was almost to tears. Suddenly Jim grabbed him and hugged him hard to his chest.

"Might be a long engagement," Blair said.

"It's the thought that counts," Jim joked with a rough voice.