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Rated NC-17 for explicit m/m sex and language. If you are offended by either, are you're on the wrong list.

Disclaimer: I do not intend to infringe upon the copyright as held by Pet Fly and UPN. I'm not making any money, and I don't own these characters (What I would do with them if I did...).

Talk to Me!
Breakfast Triptych III

by Terence

I was cooking our breakfast pancakes when I noticed that Jim was staring at me. He'd been doing a lot of that in the week since Simon had dropped by for breakfast and it was beginning to irritate the hell out of me.

"What?" I snapped.

"Nothing." Jim gave me this really bland look and went back to reading the paper. Five minutes later he was staring at me again.

I dropped a plateful of pancakes in front of him--and I do mean *dropped*. One of them fell off the plate and into his lap.

Jim leaped up from the table and knocked over his chair. He was only wearing his silk boxers and the pancake was straight off the griddle. "Jeez, Blair! What the hell is the matter with you today?"

"You know, that's really rich coming from you! You're the one who's been moping around for the last week--staring at me; zoning out right, left and center. And when I ask you, What's wrong, Jim?' you just keep telling me its nothing. Well, I'm tired of it, man! This is not *nothing*. You are either going to sit down right here, right now and *tell* me about it or..."

"Or what?" Jim snapped impatiently.

I put my hands on the table and leaned towards Ellison. "Or," I said very seriously, "I'm like out of here, man. For good."

Jim gave me his patented condescending-big-brother look. It pushed me right over the edge, not that I had that far to go.

"Okay. Fine. Have it your way." I stood up and headed towards my room.

One thing about never living in one place for very long--you learn to travel light. The essentials filled an old sea-bag I'd picked up somewhere, and a soft-sided carry-all. I dropped the sea-bag by the front door and took the carry-all into the bathroom where I proceeded to pack my bath and shave stuff. Then I dropped the soft-sided bag next to the door and went back to my room to finish sorting and packing the stuff I needed to return to Ranier University. All the while Jim just sat there at the table and did nothing.

I'd just started pulling the tribal masks off the walls when Jim appeared in the doorway of my room. "You're really serious about this, aren't you Chief?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," I answered shortly.

"You're just going to abandon me? Walk out in a snit over something stupid..."

"Stupid!" I was so outraged that I could hardly speak. When I recovered my voice I started to say, "You don't trust me, man..."

Jim shouted over the top of my voice, "I do trust you!"

"Right!" I yelled back at him. We were standing about six inches apart so I jabbed my right index finger up against his breast-bone. "You trust me so much that you won't tell me what's wrong with you! You'd rather zone-out in the middle of a fire-fight and almost get yourself shot than talk to me!"

Jim flushed and I knew he was remembering yesterday. He'd been zoning in and out all day, and refusing to talk about it. Right in the middle of one of our whispered arguments a suspect being brought in for questioning had broken away from his police escort, produced a hidden gun and proceeded to shoot the hell out of the Major Crimes bullpen.

Ellison had zoned out right in front of the doorway to Simon's office. I'd tackled Jim and knocked him into the room. Then I'd crawled over the top of his body and dragged Ellison far enough inside to close the door. Lying there on the floor I'd managed to talk Jim out of his zone in time for him to capture the gunman.

After it was all over, Simon had insisted that Jim see the resident nurse and have the cut on his head treated to make sure that none of the flying glass remained embedded in it. Captain Banks had told me to go home, that he'd bring Jim later. It must've been much later because Jim still hadn't come home when I'd fallen asleep on the couch some time after 2 am.

"Damn it," Jim cursed quietly, jolting me back to the present. All the muscles in his jaw clenched.

"Whatever it is, it can't be worse than this," I said with conviction.

"You think so?" Jim looked at me with a skeptical expression.

"This is driving us apart, man..."

Jim interrupted, "What if... what I told you... made you want to leave, anyway?"

I put my hands on Jim's shoulders and waited until blue eyes met mine. "There are only two things that you could tell me that would make me leave. The first is that you want me to get out, that you don't want me hanging around any longer. The other is that you don't trust me." I dropped my hands to my side. The decision was up to him.

Jim stood there clenching his teeth and looking into my eyes. I could see the exact moment he made his decision. His eyes took on a laser bright intensity as he leaned forward and kissed me.

As kisses go, it wasn't all that much--just a light brush of his lips across mine. I wasn't expecting it, and I didn't have time to think about it so I just reacted, taking a step forward and angling my head upwards so I could follow his lips. My mouth opened when Jim leaned in to press a harder kiss to my lips. A second later his tongue was in my mouth and our arms were wrapped around each other.

There was a riot going on in my head with different voices shouting contradictory advice. I told them all to shut up and go away.

Eventually we had to come up for air. Jim leaned back and I tucked my head under his chin. "Ummm, d'you think we could take this into the living-room?" I asked.

I could feel Jim tense up. "What's wrong with staying here?"

"I'm getting a crick in my neck looking up at you, and my knees are so shaky I'm afraid they're going to give out on me. I really need to sit down--but my bed's covered in books..." I knew I was babbling. Somewhere in there I must've said something right, because Jim laughed and relaxed against me.

It suddenly clicked in my mind. Jim--big tough Detective Ellison--had truly believed that I'd reject him! I was so stunned that I almost didn't hear his next words.

"Okay, Chief. We'll take this into the other room." Effortlessly the man picked me up and carried me towards the living-room.

"Jim!" I protested. "I can walk, you know!"

"Yeah," Jim grinned down at me. "But I wouldn't want those wobbly knees to let you down at the wrong moment. You'd bruise... your assets." He brushed one thumb over my butt.

I shivered. It was part arousal and part nervousness at seeing Jim like this. He was acting giddy, almost drunk, and all his emotions were on open display. "Jim? What's happening here, man?"

He sat me on the couch then sat beside me, putting his arm around me. "You kissed me," he said simply.

"*You* kissed *me*, Jim," I replied.

"Yeah," my partner said with a grin. "But you kissed me back." Then he leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine.

All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around Jim and lose myself in him. But my sense of self-preservation reared its head which gave me the strength to gently push against his chest and turn my head away from his lips.

"Blair?" Jim said uncertainly.

I turned back to look at him. The lost look in his eyes almost broke my heart. It was the rejection thing again, I could tell. "Jim," I said as I cupped my left hand against the side of his face. "I just need to slow down for a moment. We still haven't... talked about this..." I shrugged my shoulders at the inadequacy of using words to describe what was happening to us.

"I'm not great with words," Jim replied as he leaned towards me.

"Please, Jim," I said softly. "I need to know what's going on in your head. What brought on all this..." I gestured with the hand that had been cupping his face.

Jim pulled me into his lap. "I hope you don't mind," he said diffidently. "If we're going to have that long meaningful chat, I think this will be more comfortable. Otherwise, *I'm* liable to end up with the sore neck."

My eyes were almost on a level with that intent blue gaze. In fact, I was a little above it. "Okay. How long have you wanted to kiss me?"

Jim laughed. "You don't start with the easy ones, do you?" Then he became serious. "I don't really know. For a while, I guess. I only figured it out after you told me about how you thought Simon was under the impression that we were already a couple."

"Is this related to your zone-outs?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jim looked away from me, focusing on something beyond my shoulder. "I guess I was concentrating so hard trying to figure out what to do about these feelings I have--trying to come up with a way of expressing them without driving you away..." He looked back into my eyes. "I guess I left myself too open and my senses kept overloading."

I picked up on the most important part of what he was telling me--that fear of losing me. "Jim. I'm my mother's son. I've known that I was bi-sexual since I hit puberty. Telling me that you're attracted to me is *not* going to make me leave."

"So. You're okay with this?" Jim asked. He looked a bit stunned.

"Define what *this* is and I'll tell you," I said dryly.

"What do you mean?" Now Jim looked confused.

I looked into his eyes. "What do you want, Jim? Is this just curiosity about sex with another guy?"

Jim looked horrified as he interrupted me. "Blair! You should know that I'd never risk our relationship on something as petty as that!"

I sighed softly. "I know, man. But I need you to spell it out for me, preferably in words of one syllable. We need to go into this with our eyes open, or it just won't work."

"I love you," Jim said. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be your lover. Is that plain enough for you?"

I could feel an enormous smile take over my face.

"Blair?" Jim said. "Say something, Baby. Don't just leave me hanging!"

"Lover is two syllables," I said inanely. "And I love you, too, Jim Ellison." I took his face in my hands and kissed him with all the passion in my pounding heart.

At first, Jim kissed me back and I could feel his hands roam up and down my back, through my hair and across my chest. He had my shirt unbuttoned and off my shoulders before I realized what he was doing. That only made it more confusing for me when Jim pushed away from me.

"What's wrong, Lover?" I asked as I tried to nuzzle his neck.

"Blair? Babe? Can we take this upstairs?"

I started to giggle. "Are we adding a new House Rule here?" I asked. "No sex on the couch?" I was feeling euphoric and slightly spacey. Never, even in my wildest dreams, had I expected that Jim would ever care for me the way I'd come to care for him.

My lover stood up then reached down to pull me off the cushions. "C'mon, smart-ass," Jim said. "Unless you want to end up with rug burns on your knees."

I batted my eyes at him and stopped giggling long enough to say, "Sounds kinky, Detective. Just what do you have in mind?"

Jim towed me towards the stairs by one wrist. "You'll find out when we get there."

I managed to suppress the giggles by the time we reached Jim's bed-room. Unfortunately, that left me with a case of the hiccoughs. I sat on the side of the bed and told Jim, "I'm all *hic* yours."

Jim rolled his eyes before heading for the bathroom. I could hear the water running in the faucet as I flopped down on my back. The hiccoughs were getting louder, each one shaking my body a little bit harder.

"Sit up." Jim was back.

When I sat up he handed me a large glass of water. I held my breath as I slowly swallowed the whole twelve ounces. Then I handed the empty glass back to my partner who deposited it on the night-stand.

"Thanks, Jim," I said gratefully.

"That's a real passion killer," my lover remarked. Before I could apologize he added, "But maybe that's a good thing." Jim sat beside me on the bed and scrubbed his face with both hands. "You never did say what you wanted to do about this, Chief." Serious blue eyes searched my face.

"I'd've thought that was pretty plain." I shrugged. "Particularly after I threw myself at you."

"That's not exactly how I remember it," Jim said as he brushed the hair out of my eyes and tucked it behind my ears. "You said you loved me," he said softly. "What exactly does that mean to you?"

"What can I do to make you believe that I'm sincere about this, that I'm not going to just walk out on you?" I asked him.

"Considering that your bags are packed and sitting near the door..." Jim's voice trailed off.

"Yeah," I said heavily.

"Would you really have...left?" Jim asked.

"I don't know man. At the time... I was mad enough and scared enough... I guess that I thought it was the only way to get your attention." I looked up into smoldering blue eyes.

"You always have my attention, Blair," Jim said in a throaty voice.

I leaned towards him, but strong hands on my shoulders kept me from getting closer. Jim closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breathes. When he opened them again, he was back in control.

"There are a couple of things we need to talk about first, Babe," Jim told me. "First, don't ask me to share you with anyone else. For as long as we're together, this has got to be exclusive, or I just can't handle it."

"Good. But the same goes for you. No more redheads. No more blondes, brunettes or anything else; but particularly, no more redheads." I leaned closer. "What else do we need to talk about?"

Jim was still grinning at the redhead remark. He didn't realize that I was serious about that, but he'd find out. "How much experience do you have with male sex?" Jim asked me. "Is there anything you don't like to do with another guy? Are we going to be in the closet or out?"

"Whoa!" I said. "Do we like have to settle all of this tonight? I mean, I thought we came up here to have wild, hot sex." I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

Jim smiled at me. "Just answer the first two and we'll see about the sex."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "My experience with male sex has pretty much been confined to mutual masturbation and the occasional blow job. I never trusted anyone else enough to take it any further. I can't imagine doing anything with you that would turn me off, but I'll let you know if it happens."

"Do that," Jim said just before he closed my mouth with a kiss. He lay me back on the bed and was starting to unbuckle my belt when I grabbed both his hands.

"Blair?"

"Your turn, man," I told him.

"That's what I'm trying..."

"No," I interrupted. "I mean, your turn in the hot seat. I want to know *your* answers to those same two questions."

"Oh," Jim turned over onto his back.

I leaned up on my elbow so I could put my other hand in the middle of his chest.

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" Jim asked ruefully.

"Fair's fair, Jim," I told him.

He looked up at the ceiling. "I've tried most of it at least once; some of it more than that."

I must've looked like a fish out of water; a deer in the head-lights...a Blair who's preconceived notions concerning his room-mate had just been totally blasted. Jim sneaked a look at me and I could see the corner of his mouth twitch.

"I know you think I act like the poster child for square America, Chief. But I wasn't always this way."

"Don't you dare laugh at me!" I said fiercely and started to sit up.

Jim came off the mattress in a smooth flowing curl and grabbed me around the waist. With gentle pets and soft murmurs he encouraged me to turn around in his arms. I couldn't look at him, so I buried my face in his neck.

"I'm sorry, Blair. I didn't mean to make fun of you. But you do have a rather skewed idea of who I am."

"And who's fault is that?" I muttered rebelliously. "I mean, man, ever since we met you've been acting like Mr. Straight America. For a while you had me convinced that anything kinkier than the missionary position on Saturday night with the lights out would send you into cardiac arrest."

"That was the whole idea," Jim said.

I tilted my head back to look at him. That open look was on his face again. "I don't understand," I said softly.

Jim smiled gently and ran a finger down my nose. "I know." He sighed and looked down at the carpet. "I had a lot to live down. You see, after I got out of the army I sorta lost direction. My first few years on the police force I was disillusioned, angry, cynical. My attitude stank. I took too many chances. I guess that's why I ended up in Vice."

"That's when you did your sexual experimentation?" I asked. "When you were with Vice?"

"Yeah. As the new kid in town I pulled duty as hustler bait. And I discovered that whole scene... Well, I kinda liked it. It was exciting, a little bit dangerous--not that I didn't use protection. I was disillusioned; not suicidal. And as for the higher risk behaviors, I preferred to watch not participate."

"I'm glad to hear it," I told him. "S & M just isn't my scene."

Jim grinned at me. "Don't tell me you never tried bondage? I'd've thought the anthropologist in you wouldn't have been able to resist."

"I told you, man. I am *so* not into pain." Then I touched Jim on the arm. "Back to the subject, Big Guy. Why'd you go from sexual experimenter to sexual prude?"

Jim smiled but his eyes stayed serious. "First, I forgave myself for losing my squad in Peru."

"That wasn't your fault!" I protested.

Jim put a finger over my lips. "I know that now. But at the time..." He looked at me and said simply, "I was in charge."

I nodded reluctantly. Jim is super-responsible and he does guilt almost as well as I do.

"I think part of the Sentinel thing kicked in," Jim continued. "I started caring about doing my job and making a difference. That's why I transferred out of Vice. It was too much like trying to keep back the tide using only a whisk broom. Then, there was that thing with my first partner. When Jack disappeared..." Jim sighed then looked at me. "But I've told you all about that."

I nodded again.

"Then, rumors about my time in Vice started to circulate. It seemed like a good time to change my image, so I dumped the ear-ring, the leather and the male sex. About then Carolyn came into my life..." Jim's voice trailed off again. "I guess that I just pushed the whole period into a corner of my mind and never thought about it." Jim drew me close enough to rest my head on his shoulder. "Are you gonna be alright with this, Blair?"

"You being so much more experienced than I am?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Sure. This was at least one of us knows what he's doing." I kissed the hollow of the shoulder, then ran my tongue over the same spot.

Jim drew in a deep breath. "You trying to start something, Chief?"

"Hey, man! Don't tell me you forgot? You promised me wild, hot sex if I came clean for you." I licked my way down the shoulder and across Jim's chest.

"Never let it be said," Jim panted, "that an Ellison reneged on a promise." With one smooth continuous move Jim pushed me down on the bed and rolled on top of me. His hands moved to my belt and before I knew it, my belt, pants, shoes, socks and boxers were in a heap by the side of the bed. Jim was sucking my nipples--first the right and then the left; back and forth until they were hard and swollen. I tried to get a grip on his head, but my hands kept slipping off that half inch of stubble he calls hair. Giving up on that I tried to reach low enough to peel off Jim's boxers, but I kept getting distracted.

My nipples were getting *way* too sensitive so I pushed Jim's head away from my chest. "No more, man," I panted.

Jim moved up so he could lick the sweat off my upper lip. "I thought you were getting off on that?" he said softly before nuzzling behind my left ear.

"I was," I panted. "But they're starting to get sore."

"Sensitive skin," Jim murmured as he tongued the sliver hoops in my ear.

"Uh-huh," I murmured as I bucked my hips up into Jim's groin. I was so hard it wasn't going to take much to get me off.

"Slow down, Chief," My lover said as he moved his legs to pin my lower body to the mattress. One hand gathered both my wrists together and held them above my head.

I whimpered in frustration. My head thrashed from side to side. I needed to *move*.

A gentle hand stroked between my nipples and down my chest to my navel. Over and over Jim petted my body until my muscles relaxed. "Better?" he asked.

Sweat stung my eyes and blurred my vision. "Yeah," I croaked.

Jim released my hands and rolled over so that he could push his boxers down over his hips. Then he kicked them off on the floor and rolled back to cover my body. One knee coaxed my legs apart. Jim fitted himself between my parted thighs and matched his erect cock to mine. I wrapped my legs around him and dug my heels into his ass, trying to press him closer to me.

Jim arched his back, closed his eyes and groaned deep in his chest. When he looked down at me, the blue of his eyes had almost disappeared in the dilated depths of his pupils. He made a low sound in his throat and lay his torso down on mine, burrowing his arms under my shoulders.

I wrapped my arms around Jim as he buried his face in my neck. A hot, wet tongue licked behind my ear and around my throat. I lifted my chin in abject surrender. When my lover sucked at my pulse point I moaned and rocked my hips up against his.

Jim growled and sucked harder. His hips set up a counter rhythm to mine and I could feel our sweat-slicked genitals sliding against each other.

Our movements quickened as Jim took my mouth in an invasive kiss that screamed possession. I opened myself totally and tried to push closer. The kiss gentled and became a sensual exploration. Jim cupped my ass in his hands and held me hard against him as he rolled us over on the mattress. I don't think we missed a stroke in our frantic thrusting.

Since I was now on top I could adjust the angle of our groins to provide the most friction. Our next thrust nearly sent me into orbit, and it must've been good for Jim, as well. He yelled my name, "Blair!" His left hand tangled in my hair to bring me down for another open-mouthed kiss. As Jim's tongue invaded my mouth we thrust against each other. This time the sensation was too much--I came with a strangled cry. It was all that I could to hold onto my lover and try not to pass out.

Jim rolled me onto my back. His movements were frantic as he pushed himself into my sticky groin. In between kissing, and licking his way across my throat, Jim chanted my name, "Blair... Blair... Blair... Blair..." With a final thrust, Jim growled, bit down on my shoulder and came in hot spurts.

We lay there in a sticky knot, trying to get our breathing under control. Jim was sprawled half across me, unwilling to give up the physical contact, too tired to move much, but trying hard not to squash me. I could feel his head resting on the shoulder he'd bitten when he came. The thought floated through my mind that it was a good thing that today was Saturday; otherwise we'd both be late to work.

"Are you okay?" Jim asked quietly. His breath brushed across my throat.

"Yeahhh," I told him. "I'm more than okay. I am jelly, man."

My lover chuckled. "Likewise."

The thought about being late to work prompted an idle question. "We ever going to tell Simon that he's responsible for us getting together? After all, if he hadn't leaped to conclusions and put the idea in our heads..."

"I think we'd have figured it out eventually, Babe. And I don't intend to tell him unless he asks about how we got together." Jim got up from the bed.

"Where you going?" I asked anxiously, and opened sleepy eyes.

Jim bent down and kissed the tip of my nose. "I'm just going for a wet washcloth to help clean you up." He trailed two fingers through the mess on my groin. "If I let you go to sleep like this, you won't thank me in the morning."

I wrinkled my nose at the thought. "Hurry back, Lover. I'm about to fall asleep." I yawned and closed my eyes.

Jim just laughed. A minute or two later I heard water running in the bathroom. I fell into a light doze as I waited for him. The warm washcloth cleaning my genitals felt so good that I didn't really wake up. A few minutes later Jim joined me in bed. Instinctively I rolled towards him and he gathered me into his arms as he covered us with the comforter. I felt his lips on my forehead just before I slipped into a deeper sleep.

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