Author's notes: This is a direct repsonse to all of those degrading and dangerous stories that let jim act like blair's father and treat him like a child while physically abusing him. i pity the people who write them.

Warnings: major angst. swearing. no sex. non-consensual spanking. no happy ending.

"Hold it!" Stepping forcefully between the two comnbatants, Captain Simon Banks held out both hands, literally pushing the two men away from each other.

"Fuck you, man!" The department observer, who had been of far more benefit to the department than an observer should, threw his shoulder out and tried to go around the larger man. "This is our fight, Banks, get outta my way!"

"Hold him, Simon, I've got a thing or two to show him." Snarling, Ellison shoved at Simon's back as the captain turned to face Blair's attack.

"Need some help in here!" Although the office door was shut Simon knew the argument had been clearly audible to everyone in the bullpen for the past fiftenn minutes or so as the partners gained steam. What had started as a well-intentioned 'let's talk out whatever's bothering you' session was on the verge of becoming a fistfight.

The door swung open immediately, banging and rebounding off the wall as Brown and Rafe and Joel stormed in. The two detectives went for Ellison and the bomb squad captain wrapped Blair up in a bear-like embrace, making him struggle and shout louder.

"Get the fuck off me! This is what I'm talking about, you jerks thinking you have the right to tell me what to do!"

"Calm down and I'll let you go." Joel grumbled, looking no happier than Rafe and Brown. Jim wasn't struggling, but he was obviously enraged and there was every chance he'd turn that on them.

Getting in his face, ignoring the still swearing, still snarling observer, Simon put his hands on his hips and leaned in to lecture.

"I've had just about enough of this. I've put up with the two of you for the past three years, stood on the sidelines while you danced around each other, cheered when you got together, protected your secrets- and this is what I get in return!" Using a stiff finger he prodded Jim's chest painfully and the detective winced, probably as much from the volume as the approach.

"The two of you are going to GO HOME and FIX this!" Banks' roar rivaled an african lion's and Jim flinched visibly.

"Not fucking going home with him, man, you're out've your gourd if you think I am." As Blair calmed his movements eased and Joel gradually released him. "I have plans tonight, whether Mr.Neanderthal over there likes them or not, and he can just go fuck himself if he thinks I'm going to trot on home like an obedient puppy on his say-so." Pushing his hair out of his eyes with both hands, he glared at Simon. "Or yours, for that matter. "I'm not paid for this, I didn't sign any goddamned contract."

Turning swiftly, he grabbed for his backpack, and Simon's hand on his arm stopped him.

Working hard to be reasonable, Simon made a last attempt.

"Sandburg, the man is just worried abotu you. You do have a tendency to get into trouble."

"Only since I started hanging out with him." Jerking a thumb over his shoulder Blair indicated the glowering Jim. "Before I met him I'd never been shot at, kidnapped, chained up, dropped in an elevator or almost blown up. You guys like to joke and smirk at what a 'trouble magnet' I am, but you're not looking far enough past the hair."

Shouldering the pack, he looked past Simon to his angry lover.

"I'm going to this concert. I bought the tickets with money I earned from my job. I don't care who's going to be there or what they're going to be doing. These are my friends and colleagues."

Pausing, he let his eyes travel over the men in the room and the gulf between them and their worldviews suddenly seemed vast.

"Reality check, Ellison. This is my life. Love doesn't give someone the right to tell you how to live."

"Sandburg!" Jim's shout bounced off the closing door as Blair slipped out, moving with speed and grace.

On the elevator he wrapped his arms over his chest and spoke clearly.

"I know you're listening, Jim, and these are your choices ; back off with the attitude or I'm not going to be a part of your life anymore. Just because I'm your Guide doesn't give you the right to treat me like a kid. If you can't handle the way I live, then you better pack up my stuff and leave it by the fucking front door."

There was, of course, no answer from his lover, now a couple of stories above him.

His car was at the university, Jim had picked him up for lunch, so Blair grabbed a cab and headed straight for the club.

"This is channel Action 7 bringing you an as-it-happens on-the-spot update."

When the newscaster broke into the sitcom Jimw as pretending to watch he sat up starighter on the couch, nearly impossible considering the stiff military pose he'd been holding, willing his anger away, and stared, dialing up his hearing automatically.

"At the scene is Action 7's intrepid Sally Morse - Sally, tell us what's going on there."

Video footage, obviously live, showed a parking lot filled with hundreds of milling people, waving flashlights and lit lighters, shouting and singing and pushing and shoving.

"Frank, as we all know, the city fathers were reluctant to allow this band, 'Cognitize Dissonance', to play here in Cascade, but student protests and the threat of financial retaliation forced a change of opinion, but tonight it seems that everything they feared has come to pass."

The camera panned past burning cars and grappling young people, the sounds of breaking glass and incipient violence were vivid.

"The concert started on time and everything was relatively calm, but then lead singer and spokesperson for the band, Randy Elrod, appeared to fall ill and had to be taken offstage. That was two hours ago, and the crowd has refused to vacate the premises. It started with a few thrown beer bottles and has now escalated to a full-fledged riot."

Already up and going for his coat, his heart in his throat, Jim was startled when the door opened and he found himself face to face with an equally started Blair.

"Blair!"

Grabbing him, Jim pulled him into a fierce embrace.

"What happened? How did you get out?" Shovinghim away again just as quickly, he gripped the broad shoulders tightly. Laughing, Blair tried to answer the questions.

"As soon as they took Randy offstage I knew it was going to be a bad scene, man, so I split - but it took me nearly an hour to work my way out of that mess."

"You went?!"

Pulling away, eyes going cold, Blair frowned.

"Of course I went. I told you I was going to."

The television chattered on in the background.

"Reports of injuries are flodding in, but the crowd isn't allowing paramedics to reach those crushed or beaten. There have also been rumors of deaths beneath the feet of the mob..."

Grabbing Blair by the collar and yanking him into the living room, Jim slammed the door shut and shouted at his lover, shaking him.

"I TOLD you not to go!! Listen to that, you could have been killed!!"

Fighting against him, using his smaller size and better agility to wriggle free, Blair wasn't even responding verbally to Jim's words.

"If you're not going to listen to me and do what I say, then I'm just going to have to show you the error of your ways!" With a final ringing howl of rage Jim wentbackwards, aiming for the couch, and sat down hard, using all of his size and strength to pull Blair down over his lap.

"You SON OF A BITCH!" BLair screamed at the top of his lungs, doubling his efforts to escape. "If you touch me, Jim Ellison, you will never see me again!"

Despite his valiant struggle Jim got his loose jeans yanked down and the boxers went with them and Blair stilled, flushing cold, thinking that he was going into shock.

The first smack was hard, and it hurt, but it was nothing compared to the ones that followed. Jim punctuated each one with a verbal slap as well, adding insult to injury.

"Never do what you're told, you don't care about the people who love you, make me worry about you...!"

His arm rose and fell with agonizinf precision and tears rose in Blair's eyes, tears he was unable to resist.

This was more than a spanking, this was the death of his self-estemm.

The only way to regain it would be to leave Jim forever.

If he didn't kill him in his sleep first.

Distracetd by his thougts, he almost didn't realize that Jim had stopped and was cuddling him close.

"I am so sorry, Chief." The man murmured into his hair, big hands stroking his back. "If you would just do what I tell you we this wouldn't have happened. Don't make me do it again, please, I couldn't bear to hurt you..."

"You seemed to do just fine." Abruptly bursting into frantic action, Blair caught him by surprise and managed to get away, falling tot he floor and rolling away when Jim recovered and reached for him.

"You've gone too far, Ellison." Standing, shifting his weight to ease the ache in his back and butt, Blair's hands trembled as he pulled up his pants and fastened them. "I am so out of here."

"I had to do it!" Jim shouted, standing and glaring athim. "You won't listen to me!"

Keeping the coffee table between them, Blair answered with an ugly snarl.

"You mean I won't obey you, don't you, caveman? I knew you were a throwback, but you don't go as far back as I thought. Just to the fifties!" He began working his way toward the door, arms out to fend Jim off.

"Touch me again and I'll have youarrested for assault, man."

"I didn't assault you, Blair Jim snorted. "I spanked you, which is exactly what a little hippie-flower-child needs. What your mother should have done!"

"There's the difference, man." Blair snorted with disbelief. "You're not my fucking father."

Before Jim could answer that he was out the door and out of Jim's life.

Of course, this didn't sink in for a couple of days. Days Jim spent searching for his Guide, planning elaborate apologies, emotional scenes where Blair forgave him and promised to let Jim protect him the way Jim needed to, forever.

It was't until he got a letter from an attorney, demanding in strident tones that he ship Blair's posessions to an adress in Phoenix, that he began tothink his Guide wouldn't be coming home. At least, not without encouragement.

The restraining order arrived an hour after the lawyer's letter.

Sitting on the couch, the legal document crumpled between his clenched fists, Jim lowered his head and tried to think past it. He needed a plan, needed to do something...

But by the time he got to Phoenix it was too late.

With the ease of a lifelong gypsy Blair had vanished and Jim Ellison knew he would never see him again.

But at least he had his gun with him.

the end. and i want feedback, so those of you who don't like to give it - or think i shouldn't say that because it doesn't live up to some arbitrary standard *you've* decided to set - go soak your heads!