Archive of Our Own ^beta

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the loft,
The Sentinel and Guide, like two bunnies they boffed.
The stockings that once by the fireplace hung,
Were emptied of goodies and on the floor flung.
(House rules forgotten due to holiday cheer,
And the sight of Blair Sandburg's naked upended rear.)
Now the people who lived just one floor up above,
Were quite unaware that these men were in love.
They moved there and thought that it was a good thing,
To have a detective living in their building,
Their minds they did change due to tossin and thrashin,
And the noises emitted while in throes of passion.
They complained to the landlord, other neighbors, except
The Sentinel and Guide hadn't been clued in yet.
Not a word of complaint had been said to the guys,
Whose activities made neighbors blood pressures rise.
The holidays just seemed to make matters worse,
To the people who thought the guys' actions perverse.
Finally the couple could stand it no more,
And they rushed down the stairs and pounded the door.
Blair carefully opened the door just a crack,
With Ellison protectively watching his back.
They stared at their neighbors dressed in their night gowns,
As the two people yelled, "Could you *please* keep it down!"
Blair stuttered, Jim stammered, and both of them blushed,
But promised to keep their activities hushed.
With both of them red as a strawberry tart,
The men mumbled apologies straight from the heart.
That seemed to diffuse the two neighbors' wrath,
And they both said good night and they retraced their path
To their loft up above the one marked 307,
For some peace and some quiet and their own bit of heaven.
Sandburg and Ellison softly they tread,
Across the floor, up the stairs, and into their bed.
Blair started to giggle, Jim's finger did wag,
He reached into the nightstand and pulled out a ball gag.
"I'm certainly glad that I bought us this, Chief,
Your silence will give our poor neighbors relief.
I'm still gonna fuck you, and I'll still make you cum,
But instead of you screaming, you're just gonna hum."
Taking that as a clue, Sandburg turned off the light,
And both men enjoyed lots of loving that night.
No more complaints were heard from above,
So Sentinel and Guide continued to make love
Both day and night (hey, they're hearty and hale),
And that, my dear Senners, is the end of this tale.

The end.